Platypuschow
Joined Jan 2015
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Ratings17.2K
Platypuschow's rating
Reviews1.8K
Platypuschow's rating
Plot
Dalia and her two young sisters grow up in a pagan apocalyptic cult led by an ancient Baltic goddess of death and reincarnation. On the night of an important cult ritual, a police raid rescues Dalia as cult members flee with her two sisters. Years later, as the guilt eats away at her, Dalia finds a potential link to the cult through a prominent and despised black metal artist sequestered in the woods. Dalia journeys to find her sisters but her quest for the truth becomes a descent into Hell.
Cast
Not familiar with anybody involved
Verdict
An Australian ITN movie, Cult Girls embraces gothic culture. Sadly by people either too deep into it or with no clue, because it's a terrible representation.
If you can get past that you're hit with the films biggest flaw, it's boring. No, I haven't stressed it enough this movie is incredibly boring. I struggled to make it through the runtime, I actually felt my eyes beginning to close, I was so horrifyingly bored watching Cult Girls.
Why? Well the plot is not only dull but it's non-sensical. You can't engage because it makes no sense, neither can you care about the characters because they're so grey and simply uninteresting.
I'll wind up making an ITN list, I expect this to be at the absolute bottom and considering what else will be on the list that's embarassing.
Rants
Who are ITN films for? Very low budget, often featuring the same cast who oddly never seem to change their appearance in the slightest. The writing is always dire, the visual effects are lacking and they always feel so terribly amateurish. Is it intentional? Are they the new Scyfy and/or Asylum? Truly abysmal stuff to a consistency that is quite impressive.
The Good
Nothing springs to mind
The Bad
So very very boring Plot makes little sense Nothing really happens Everything is so forgettable.
Dalia and her two young sisters grow up in a pagan apocalyptic cult led by an ancient Baltic goddess of death and reincarnation. On the night of an important cult ritual, a police raid rescues Dalia as cult members flee with her two sisters. Years later, as the guilt eats away at her, Dalia finds a potential link to the cult through a prominent and despised black metal artist sequestered in the woods. Dalia journeys to find her sisters but her quest for the truth becomes a descent into Hell.
Cast
Not familiar with anybody involved
Verdict
An Australian ITN movie, Cult Girls embraces gothic culture. Sadly by people either too deep into it or with no clue, because it's a terrible representation.
If you can get past that you're hit with the films biggest flaw, it's boring. No, I haven't stressed it enough this movie is incredibly boring. I struggled to make it through the runtime, I actually felt my eyes beginning to close, I was so horrifyingly bored watching Cult Girls.
Why? Well the plot is not only dull but it's non-sensical. You can't engage because it makes no sense, neither can you care about the characters because they're so grey and simply uninteresting.
I'll wind up making an ITN list, I expect this to be at the absolute bottom and considering what else will be on the list that's embarassing.
Rants
Who are ITN films for? Very low budget, often featuring the same cast who oddly never seem to change their appearance in the slightest. The writing is always dire, the visual effects are lacking and they always feel so terribly amateurish. Is it intentional? Are they the new Scyfy and/or Asylum? Truly abysmal stuff to a consistency that is quite impressive.
The Good
Nothing springs to mind
The Bad
So very very boring Plot makes little sense Nothing really happens Everything is so forgettable.
Plot
A reporter discovers all is not as it seems at an infamous hotel.
Cast
Several familiar faces from ITN's usual suspects and lead by Chrissie Wunna.
Verdict
There's something creepy about elevators and there have been some great horrors set in them, this is not one of them. In fact frustratingly the elevator in question is barely a part of the film and is rarely featured at all.
The Elevator suffers all the usual ITN Productions tropes. The same faces, the same naff acting, the same dreadful visual effects and the same inability to tell a coherent enjoyable story.
The plot is very weak here and entirely nonsensical with one of the worst endings yet, it's not that it's bad exactly it's just that it doesn't have one. You're waiting for a finale then boom credits.
Chrissie Wunna has a likeability factor to her, but that's likely for the wrong reasons. She's no leading lady and I've seen her in nothing worth more than 3 stars.
I'd like to say there was potential here, but I'd be lying. This is a standard ITN film, so you should know exactly what to expect.
Rants
There's a side story in the film that involves the lead characters daughter that feels so incredibly pointless and tacked on. It's barely a thing, the twist is inevitable and it contributes nothing to the story in the slightest. Why does it exist? Probably to get Wunna's 1 facial expression 1 tone of voice daughter in the film as she tends to do so. No really, I cannot stress how bad an actress this girl is. Want a laugh? Go watch Rag Doll (2023) and stare in awe at her performance it's truly a wonder to behold.
The Good
Chrissie Wunna, guilty pleasure
The Bad
Ruby Wunna Ugly visual effects Story is horrible No ending.
A reporter discovers all is not as it seems at an infamous hotel.
Cast
Several familiar faces from ITN's usual suspects and lead by Chrissie Wunna.
Verdict
There's something creepy about elevators and there have been some great horrors set in them, this is not one of them. In fact frustratingly the elevator in question is barely a part of the film and is rarely featured at all.
The Elevator suffers all the usual ITN Productions tropes. The same faces, the same naff acting, the same dreadful visual effects and the same inability to tell a coherent enjoyable story.
The plot is very weak here and entirely nonsensical with one of the worst endings yet, it's not that it's bad exactly it's just that it doesn't have one. You're waiting for a finale then boom credits.
Chrissie Wunna has a likeability factor to her, but that's likely for the wrong reasons. She's no leading lady and I've seen her in nothing worth more than 3 stars.
I'd like to say there was potential here, but I'd be lying. This is a standard ITN film, so you should know exactly what to expect.
Rants
There's a side story in the film that involves the lead characters daughter that feels so incredibly pointless and tacked on. It's barely a thing, the twist is inevitable and it contributes nothing to the story in the slightest. Why does it exist? Probably to get Wunna's 1 facial expression 1 tone of voice daughter in the film as she tends to do so. No really, I cannot stress how bad an actress this girl is. Want a laugh? Go watch Rag Doll (2023) and stare in awe at her performance it's truly a wonder to behold.
The Good
Chrissie Wunna, guilty pleasure
The Bad
Ruby Wunna Ugly visual effects Story is horrible No ending.
Plot
A woman wakes up on a distant planet and finds the crew of her space station viciously killed. Her investigation into what happened sets in motion a terrifying chain of events.
Cast
Aaron "I don't get the appeal" Paul, the stunning Eiza González and a few other faces that you'll likely struggle to name but you'll know that from something.
Verdict
I went in blind, I'd never heard of Ash and that says a lot about its marketing. Within moments I thought to myself, this is going to be good. It had an Event Horizon vs Dead Space theme and I was excited for what was to come. I really set myself up for that fall didn't I?!
Ash has a tried and tested concept yet dangles originality in front of you only to rip it from your grasp throughout its run time. There's nothing new here, and even if there was it's all so dark you'd likely not appreciate it anyway.
So the plot is nonsensical, Paul is weak as usual, the splatter effects that are also teased are heartbreakingly lacking and the whole thing feels very much like a "What could have been".
I had high hopes, they were squandered. It's not that it's a bad film, it's the fact that it's a bad film that should have been good.
Rants
This has wet my appetite for a live action Dead Space movie. Can you imagine it? The very idea has me salivating. If handled by a competent writer, and the special effects done by people who could do it justice that could be a masterpiece. Will we get it? Yeah sure, around the same time as we get Dead Space 4.
The Good
In places it looks the part Eiza González A couple of decent ideas
The Bad
Too dark and with cheap lighting effects Everything feels like it should have been done better Aaron Paul Very ugly in places.
A woman wakes up on a distant planet and finds the crew of her space station viciously killed. Her investigation into what happened sets in motion a terrifying chain of events.
Cast
Aaron "I don't get the appeal" Paul, the stunning Eiza González and a few other faces that you'll likely struggle to name but you'll know that from something.
Verdict
I went in blind, I'd never heard of Ash and that says a lot about its marketing. Within moments I thought to myself, this is going to be good. It had an Event Horizon vs Dead Space theme and I was excited for what was to come. I really set myself up for that fall didn't I?!
Ash has a tried and tested concept yet dangles originality in front of you only to rip it from your grasp throughout its run time. There's nothing new here, and even if there was it's all so dark you'd likely not appreciate it anyway.
So the plot is nonsensical, Paul is weak as usual, the splatter effects that are also teased are heartbreakingly lacking and the whole thing feels very much like a "What could have been".
I had high hopes, they were squandered. It's not that it's a bad film, it's the fact that it's a bad film that should have been good.
Rants
This has wet my appetite for a live action Dead Space movie. Can you imagine it? The very idea has me salivating. If handled by a competent writer, and the special effects done by people who could do it justice that could be a masterpiece. Will we get it? Yeah sure, around the same time as we get Dead Space 4.
The Good
In places it looks the part Eiza González A couple of decent ideas
The Bad
Too dark and with cheap lighting effects Everything feels like it should have been done better Aaron Paul Very ugly in places.