azhiraphale
Lifetime Total
1+
IMDb Member
9 years
Reviews
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
The Farce Awakens - "I find your lack of vision... disturbing."
Intro crawler & Star Wars fanfare.
Opening scene - cut to a Star Destroyer in orbit above a planet. We then meet one of our heroes as they attempt to escape & evade an attack from stormtroopers.
Our hero however is unsuccessful & is instead captured by the dark lord & his troops. Before being captured however, they manage to secret information vital to the resistance within their loyal droid. This droid is then tasked with reaching the resistance where this information will be retrieved. The droid sets off aimlessly across the wastelands of a harsh desert planet, pursued by a garrison of stormtroopers intent on finding it asap.
The droid is however captured first by a small statured scavenger of this planet, but is soon liberated by our main hero - a young desert wanderer and cunning pilot, who dreams of a brighter future.
Meanwhile the dark forces have constructed a new technological terror. A super weapon so devastating, it can destroy entire planets with one blast of its mighty cannon.
Our female hero is captured by the dark lord, held prisoner & interrogated within this new super weapon.
But, with the aid of Han Solo & Chewbacca, a daring rescue mission is staged which combines an attack on the shield generators of this super weapon.
Cue a shock father/son epiphany and stand off within its chasmic interior.
Following the defeat of the shield generator, a glorious X-Wing attack is staged (incorporating a hazardous trench run against enemy laser turrets and Tie Fighters)
The planet sized super weapon is quickly defeated & the X-Wing fleet escape the engulfing catastrophe.
Does any of this sound familiar? You would be forgiven for thinking that I have just described Episode IV! But sadly not.
Daisy Ridley was an excellent choice as Rey.
Kylo Ren amounted to a 2-dimensional teenager throwing tantrums, who removes his mask at anyone's request.
General Hux was a painfully diluted character, bearing no more malice than a mild cold.
And Captain Phasma? Was there really any point?
George Lucas did it all before and better in the 1970's and was original at the same time.
Opening scene - cut to a Star Destroyer in orbit above a planet. We then meet one of our heroes as they attempt to escape & evade an attack from stormtroopers.
Our hero however is unsuccessful & is instead captured by the dark lord & his troops. Before being captured however, they manage to secret information vital to the resistance within their loyal droid. This droid is then tasked with reaching the resistance where this information will be retrieved. The droid sets off aimlessly across the wastelands of a harsh desert planet, pursued by a garrison of stormtroopers intent on finding it asap.
The droid is however captured first by a small statured scavenger of this planet, but is soon liberated by our main hero - a young desert wanderer and cunning pilot, who dreams of a brighter future.
Meanwhile the dark forces have constructed a new technological terror. A super weapon so devastating, it can destroy entire planets with one blast of its mighty cannon.
Our female hero is captured by the dark lord, held prisoner & interrogated within this new super weapon.
But, with the aid of Han Solo & Chewbacca, a daring rescue mission is staged which combines an attack on the shield generators of this super weapon.
Cue a shock father/son epiphany and stand off within its chasmic interior.
Following the defeat of the shield generator, a glorious X-Wing attack is staged (incorporating a hazardous trench run against enemy laser turrets and Tie Fighters)
The planet sized super weapon is quickly defeated & the X-Wing fleet escape the engulfing catastrophe.
Does any of this sound familiar? You would be forgiven for thinking that I have just described Episode IV! But sadly not.
Daisy Ridley was an excellent choice as Rey.
Kylo Ren amounted to a 2-dimensional teenager throwing tantrums, who removes his mask at anyone's request.
General Hux was a painfully diluted character, bearing no more malice than a mild cold.
And Captain Phasma? Was there really any point?
George Lucas did it all before and better in the 1970's and was original at the same time.