soulcrisis28

IMDb member since February 2015
    Lifetime Total
    50+
    Lifetime Plot
    1+
    IMDb Member
    7 years

Reviews

While We Sleep
(2021)

Man I Wish We Could Reply To Reviews On Here
Wow...@thorr-3. Grow up... When you "were growing up in Belimia?" First off, that's an eating disorder, not a place. Second, not cool joking about eating disorders.

Ok about this actual movie. It has/had some potential, sadly though I can't remember the last time I watched a movie with such gaping, glaring plot holes in it. I mean these are really bad and at the end of the movie you just have an absurd amount of questions because of these plot holes.

So, terrible writing is the first big strike. So, yeah, towards the end of the movie, yep the end of it, you find out the "dad" isn't the real dad of the girl being possessed, it's some dude named Alexander. Who's Alexander you ask? Great question, let me know when you find out the answer cause I sure as heck don't know and the movie doesn't tell you! Yet this guy plays a HUGE intricate part in the storyline! Not only is he the girls real dad, he's dead, and he apparently battled this demon and destroyed his body according to the demon, and the demon is going after the girl as vengeance against Alexander! Yep! The dead guy who we know nothing about and learn nothing about but his name when it's bomb dropped on us TOWARDS THE END OF THE MOVIE!

Next we have this priest who you get a quick background but he's in the forefront image of in the beginning of the movie and you don't even realize the two points connect until that's right, towards the end of the movie again! Yeah he just pops in like Superman to save the day. You learn nothing about him but he sure as hell knows all about Alexander and who he is. Does he share any of that info with us? Nope. Thanks Father... Yeah and he just dies, apparently it was the only way to vex the demon entirely. Yep, in fact he's the only person to die in the whole movie! A guy that just pops in towards the end that we learn nothing about and have zero time to make any kind of connection to so yeah his death is just blah.

Next issue, movie takes place in the Ukraine apparently and while the majority of it is in English, I know right? Kinda weird, there are multiple parts where they just bust out talking Ukrainian and do we get any of it translated? NOPE! Just get to sit there wondering what the heck they just said to watch other. Oh and apparently the mom is Ukrainian ancestry, dad is 100% American and everyone is Ukrainian and speaks with a heavy heavy accent. Oh and the kid is American born but they moved to Ukraine cause it's such a step up apparently for the family.

Last, the actors did well, the movie was shot well and looks good, not cheap or anything like that, but that's nowhere near enough to even salvage this movie with those horrible plot holes and just terrible lazy writing. This movie is just an all around stinker and can definitely and deservingly be missed.

Corbin Nash
(2018)

Blade/Punisher Ripoff...
And that's being disrespectful to the Blade and Punisher Franchises.

I mean Corey Feldman is in this and it is still terrible, and so is he btw. If I had to hear him say, "tell me I'm beautiful" one more time, I was gonna lose it.

The main guy, you know the one who the movie is named after? Is a joke. One, he just gets annihilated through the entire first half of the movie. He has to get changed into what he hates and is hunting, ehem Blade ripoff, before he can even put up a fight.

Oh and let me tell you how cool this guy is...has his last name tattooed across his chest... yeah so tough.

The actors, except a few, even credited ones all act over the top, especially the guy playing Nash. He's so over the top you just wanna laugh at the whole time. He is not a good cast for a BA tough guy. It's really kinda sad.

My suggestion, skip it. If you need a filling for a vampire vigilante go watch Blade, better story, better movie, better acting. Or say just need some vigilante minus the vamp, go watch Punisher. Still, better story, better acting, better movie. Let's be honest, unfortunately neither of the Punisher movies fared well, first one, great cast as the Punisher, just always liked Thomas Jane in the roll for some reason, terrible script. War Zone, amazing movie and script, didn't care for who they cast as the Punisher, see I don't even know his name. I'd still gladly watch either of those movies over this one. So there you have it.

Altered Hours
(2016)

Interesting Script...Terrible Cast
So, here we are, yet again, another review of a movie that could've not been made and the world wouldn't have skipped a beat.

The story is interesting enough and the movie is shot well for the most part.

Where it all falls apart and just swirls down the drain like a treatment of drano is the cast. That's right, all the actors and actresses, and I use those words very lightly, is just awful. Not one of them, well there's one, but none of the rest have any redeeming qualities and they all get very annoying and on your nerves at some point. Now, I said there was one, the cooky professor scientist. He's actually got redeeming qualities and plays his part well. The rest of them? Well there's probably a pretty good reason you have never heard of them or seen them in anything else.

I'd say skip it, there's better stuff out there, but if you're having a hard time finding something, you could fall on this one smh give it a watch. There's worse things you could watch or be doing.

Slasher Party
(2019)

Yep, Lives Up to Its Bad Reviews
The only pro I could possibly see for this movie is getting to watch type cast characters of the most annoying people in the world currently. Online social media sociopaths, vloggers, wanna be rappers, "influencers" you get my drift.

The entire cast consists of all the putrid, talentless hack job garbage that social media has produced over the last 2 decades. You instantly want every character dead as soon as they open their mouths and sadly, they don't die quick enough.

Just a terrible movie, the story, setting, actors, characters, all of it. The females are very easy on the eyes but their personalities instantly ruin that.

If today's youth and anything and everything that revolves around them and what they do, say, and how they talk drives you crazy, you definitely do not want to watch this movie. Even if it doesn't, you definitely don't want to watch this movie. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Paranormal Activity
(2007)

Low Rating Because of "Micah"
So, I decided to for doody's and giggles to watch the Paranormal Activity Series from top to bottom start to finish. All I can say is wow, I do not remember the lead "male" Micah (meekah), what a stupid and idiotic name btw, which it just do happens to be this losers real name.

Anywho, I do not remember this beep beep beep, calm down that was just my R2D2 impression, I don't remember this sorry excuse of a "man" being such a psychopathic, pompous, arrogant, ignorant, egotistical, sociopathic, pile of dung in this movie when I first watched it. I wanted to punch this guy so many times, pretty much every time he said something to be honest. His smug face didn't help much either, thank God it was behind the camera most of the movie.

This guy seriously ruins and destroys the potential, uh I can't think of the word, when things retain how good or great they are over time or even get better with time. Yeah there's movies that are just as good/great today as they were when they first came out. This movie could've had that, but not with this guy at the helm. He is a guaranteed replica voyage and outcome of the titanic for this movie.

I don't know if I just missed it when I originally watched this movie or if I just had a different mind frame at the time or what. However watching now 15 years later, this guy just puts the stinky, rotten, putrid, stank all over this movie and ruins any longevity greatness this movie could've attained.

Go find another line of work "Micah"

3 Hours till Dead
(2016)

3 Hours I Wish I Could Rewind & Choose To Not Watch This
Man, this movie is stinking awful I wrote this before finishing it because it was annoying me so much.

Acting- terrible Story- terrible Set- OK I guess, can't hate on it too much since it's ripped straight off from Night of the Living Dead

The "Lead" if you wanna call him that is the absolute worst. He can't even talk, he mumbles smh when he does try to talk it sounds like his mouth is full of peanut butter. Have you ever kicked your lower jaw out then tried to talk? You know like making fun of Marlon Brando in the Godfather? Yeah that's this guy only ten times worse.

Not to mention he's a worthless turd. He let's 2 of his friends become human beef jerky and what's worse is the first one he did it to be was trying to save him! Nope, this guy froze up and let his buddy get chomped on, only then does he snap out of it and kill the zombie eating his friend. His friend was pathetic too, he got bit on the shoulder and then somehow couldn't walk after that? The first loser guy is trying to crutch walk him back to the house and this guy can't even manage to barely stay on his feet. Dude, you got bit in the shoulder, what's that got to do with your ability to walk? See the stupidity?

Then they take a tumble and loser number 1 just ends up leaving him there as a group of zombies come rushing at them to let them finish what they started on this guy who was only out there trying to save him to begin with. Picked a crummy friend to try and save.

Then he runs to a car and gets in and a horde of them surround and trap him in it. But don't worry, after awhile and nothing has changed he decides he can just open the door and push them off and get away scott free and squeaky clean. Yep, it's really that bad and stupid.

Then he gets back in the house and calls for one of the girls in the group as he let's a ton of zombies in the house and practically leads them all right to her then just he side tracks her and let's the horde of zombies that he let in the house chomp away on her! That's friend number 2 for those keeping count that he just let the zombies have at em. Yeah real great lead guy.

The movies awful, the acting and actors are more awful and the story line is the worst. Skip it you'll be doing yourself a favor.

Alone
(2020)

Time For A History Lesson and Fact Correcting
Ok, so I'm seeing A LOT of "crappy American remake of Korean film" in the reviews. This, is not true at all! FALSE!

So, time for the true explanation. A guy named Matt Naylor wrote a script called, you guessed it, "Alone" in 2019. I'm sure you can figure out what it's about.

Now, Matt hooked up with Cho Il-hyung and together they wrote a screenplay which then became the Korean movie known as "Alive" that Cho also directed. This movie came out first, so naturally people saw it first. It was released in South Korea on June 24th 2020. It was then released globally on Netflix on September 8th, 2020.

Now, the movie that this review is actually for, "Alone" Matt Naylor had no further connection with past writing the original script in 2019 with the same title. This movie, "Alone" was released on October 16th, 2020.

Now, knowing all this information, one could conclude that these movies were made almost at the same time. Especially both being released so close in time to when Matt Naylor originally wrote the script that influenced and led to these two movies being made.

THEREFORE, this cannot and is not a crappy American remake as so many people have decided to label this. What it is however, is a script that led to two similar yet different movies being made in two separate countries at almost if not the exact same time amazingly enough.

From other reviews and feedback, it world appear that the first one out, the South Korean version "Alive" has fared better in the response and review department. You could to some degree kind of expect this since the guy who wrote the original script, Matt Naylor also co-wrote the screenplay with the director Cho Il-hyung. Usually, when creators of art in any form are allowed to continue to work with their creation as it moves along whatever process it's going to go through to reach it's final stage, the final product tends to turn out better overall.

As for this movie, "Alone" the lead, is just awful. Not so much his acting, just the character he's portraying in general. He's what we tend to call a "manchild." For those unaware of this term, it's pretty much a grown man that acts like a child and almost sadly can't fend for himself. In the beginning of this movie, this guy goes in his bathroom to find a note and check taped to his mirror from his mommy and daddy for his rent.

The first 30 minutes of this movie are him freaking out and crying for his mommy and his daddy cause well, the zombie apocalypse has hit the fan, and his doodoo has hit his britches. Of course he can't get through cause the cell lines are all down. Like a week later, there's a quick screen shot of his phone with a post it that says and I quote, "keep trying." Yep, he had to put a post-it note in the cover of his cell phone case to remind himself to "keep trying" to reach his mommy and his daddy. Pathetic. Oh, he also unplugged his refrigerator and moved it in front of his door as a blockade. While refrigerators can be blockades, you just ruined all of your refrigerated and frozen food manchild! How could anyone connect with a sad, sniveling worthless character like this. It's not like you have a choice to pick anyone else, hello the movie is called "Alone" so yeah, you're completely stuck with this guy.

Then right before he decides he can't take it, being alone, anymore. Not that he was out of food or aqua, he just couldn't handle the solitude anymore, he decides to end it. Right before this, he sees a girl across the alley way a floor lower and the next building over. So now the manchild goes into full creeper mode and decides he wants to live so he can try and talk with this girl. He does open communication with her, I'm not gonna go into more of his creepy stalker manners on how he does this, you can watch it and find out, I'll say this, it's bad enough she even calls him out on it, being a creeper that is.

Lastly, this actor, Tyler Posey, who apparently has been in other stuff, nothing I've seen, is really hard on the eyes. He's got some jacked up misaligned jaw and it's not just slightly noticeable like Paris Hilton's lazy eye, that's a joke, her lazy eye is extremely noticeable, it's really noticeable in fact, it's almost all you can look at and focus on anytime his face is on camera. It's really very weird and distracting. I mean his chin is even crooked. You would think with a movie a like this where you have one solo guy being the main focal point and focus for a good majority of the film, you'd want someone easy on the eyes and hell with at a minimum a straight face!

That's it, I'm done, stick the meat thermometer in me and watch it go up to 145° F. Some may like this movie, from the reviews I'm thinking not many. Check it out if you really want to, I suggest skipping it and the headache that comes with watching it.

The Thing Inside Us
(2021)

Paranormal Activity Rip Off Fail
I've never seen such boring actors in my life. Expressionless to the nth degree. Whether it's a calm scene, dramatic scene, arguing, doesn't matter they just deliver their monotone lines like robots. The girl cuts herself and barely reacts to it. The guy loses track of her one night and his words are what you say in that situation but his Expression was non existent. Just do yourself a favor and skip this or take it to an acting class and use it as a what not to do teaching tool.

Bad story, bad acting, bad script, bad movie, bad decision to watch this. DON'T WATCH THIS!

The Orchard
(2020)

Oh My What Deceptive Trailer
So, the reviews are all over the place on this one but mainly running down the lower end of the middle. I don't even think this garbage deserves that. Let me put it this way, I'm only 18 mins into this movie and I'm writing this review cause I've made my mind up that it's not gonna get better from here and well sadly, it can't go any lower.

It's a real shame too cause I like Thomas Jane, in fact he's what drew me to the movie in the first place. However, when you have a 33 year old woman playing what I'm guessing is supposed to be a 17-18 year old oldest of 3 sisters, and by the way, she looks every day of 33 and maybe even then some. If anything, she looks like the mom's younger sister, not first born daughter. So yeah, 33 year old woman playing 17-18 character who is CONSTANTLY whining about wanting to be treated like an adult... lady you are and look 33!

Next, the terrible acting dad, he wears glasses with NO LENSES IN THEM! And he's weird! And him and the 33 year old daughter I mean eldest daughter act and communicate weird with each other.

Movie could've been something half way descent but between terrible casting, acting, and lackluster projection, well skip this one and don't get robbed if ten rental money like I did.

Now to figure out who to talk to about getting my money back...

Legion
(1998)

You Know The Script Is Bad...
When you actually have some credible actors and the movie is still super hoaky and just bad.

Can't blame the actors in this one cause there's actually credible actors and actresses in this movie and honestly the acting was good, even Rick Springfield, yep THAT Rick Springfield, Jesse's girl.

So anywho, yeah if you're really bored and having trouble finding something to watch you could turn this one on. But don't expect anything award winning.

I'm blaming the script and director for this rotten apple. Even a bad script can sometimes be salvaged a little with a good director.

The Strings
(2020)

The Saying is Like Watching Paint DRY
Even with that, that is still giving this steaming pile of poo emoji entirely too much credit. The lead is not easy on the eyes, overweight and unattractive as others have already said, they weren't stretching the truth, talentless hack should be added to the list. Whatever this nonsense is she calls "music" is well not any good. What's even a little funny but really just sad is the movie tries to play off like she's some established musician which just makes it all that much worse. Everything in this movie is fake and bad, her fake and bad acting, her fake and bad smoking, her fake and bad drinking, her really fake and bad "music"

I hesitate to call this a slow burn, cause it never even catches a spark to start to slow burn. Anywho read the other reviews, others have made comical points about the movie that are true and made me laugh a little.

In fact, I'd almost say the reviews are more entertaining than the movie. Skip this if you value your time at all.

Inbred
(2011)

Must Be A Different Kind Of Comedy
I dunno where the comedy label is coming from, nothing funny about this movie. I will say the kill scenes and graphics are pretty impressive for 2011. What's not impressive and a rather big let down is the continuity is non existent. For example, one scene all the "outsiders" group gets completely sprayed and covered in blood and the next time we see them, which is only like a minute later, none of them and I mean none of them have a drop of blood on them. We aren't talking like they cleaned themselves up no blood, we are talking about filmed on a separate day and no one put blood on them to prep them for the upcoming scene continuing from the prior day.

Oh and later when it's all hitting the fan, all they do is scream and yell at each other non stop. It gets really annoying and old really fast.

Another just terrible spot is when they pick their first victim and they are restraining him to the ground, this "inbred" with defective arms comes in to hammer these braces over the victims arms and feet. He doesn't even come close to getting these things hammered down enough to restrain this guy. He literally could've just slipped his hands out with ease and fought and got away.

I'm not even finished watching this, yep I'm writing this as I'm watching it and I'm already this annoyed with the movie.

Don't skip it if you're looking for a splatter bloody gore fest, like Texas Chainsaw on Crack, just be prepared for some really stupid things to ruin the movie that easily could've been avoided and really put this movie in a top tier cult status.

Skinwalker
(2021)

Did A Good Job At Time Accuracy
That's its only redeeming quality. This has just God awful acting. I've seen high-school plays with better acting. Real shame too, don't get too many good quality western/horror hybrids.

You'll wanna skip this one.

sxtape
(2013)

A Perverts Excuse to Make a Pathetic Horror/Porn "Movie"
I'm not even half way through this flaming pile of garbage filler and I'm done. The bf, who stays behind the camera and delivers half the lines in the movie, is above and beyond annoying and his girly little prepubic voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

The gf is an airhead, cute but dumb as a box of rocks. I have no idea what stupidity is left in this movie but I'm sure it's not worth commenting on. I'll just be waiting and rooting for these two and anyone else in sure that pops up to die. If only this was a snuff film and it was for real.

Closed for Storm
(2020)

Documentary About Katrina's Destruction To An Unfortunate Local New Orleans Theme Park
Ok, let me start out by saying anyone who knocks or low scores a documentary, like this Chris guy, either doesn't appreciate documentaries for what they are and shouldn't watch them to begin with or is just a negative self hating loathsome individual who needs to find Jesus.

There, now that that's out of the way, this is a pretty interesting documentary about how a major tourist city, New Orleans, finally got their first major theme park, Jazzland, and through inexperience and mismanagement quickly changed hands to become one of the countries largest theme park operators, Six Flags, locations.

I'm a born and raised Oklahoman and even we have had our own theme park and water park long before New Orleans did. I had no idea such a major, bustling, tourist city never had a theme park until the start of the new millenia.

Sadly, we also find out that the life of this grand new theme park is very short lived, it ran as its original brand Jazzland for only 2 years, then Six Flags bought it and it only ran as a Six Flags location for less than 3 years, due to Hurricane Katrina practically wiping it and New Orleans off the map in 2005.

While although Six Flags had promised to renovate, repair, and reopen Six Flags New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina's devastation, we come to find out through this documentary that that promise never came to fruition. It's now 2021 and this documentary was released in 2020 and nothing has been done or touched sadly, except all the asinine amount of graffiti, to Six Flags New Orleans.

If you have a interest in theme parks and the history and devastation of Hurricane Katrina, this will be an enjoyable documentary to watch. Even if you don't have interest in this things, it's still a pretty interesting documentary to watch.

My only peeve/dislike would be the 2 guys who made it, when they are touring the Six Flags grounds, and they do it at night for some odd reason, I guess to give it a spooky, eerie touch to it, and the camera guy is just way too outlandish. He definitely needed to dial it down and back about 5 levels. He just way over does it and overreacts to where the water level was inside buildings, you can see it on all the walls from the stains it left behind due to it sitting there for so long, and all the destruction and aftermath of Katrina. The way he acts you'd think they found some kind of mass grave or something. "Oh my God this" and "holy crap that" Oh and "Jesus Christ." I don't think I've heard so many religious terms used out of context and over something so minuscule in my life.

Anywho, just be warned of that and be prepared for it and check it out and enjoy!

The Curse of Downers Grove
(2015)

The Only Thing Cursed Is This Movie
What a pretentious piece of crap movie. There is absolutely NOTHING to do with a curse. This is a lifetime movie about stalking, rape, and corrupt small town cops. It should've been called Rapey Stalker.

So, don't go into this movie expecting some teen horror about some mythical curse cause you'll be sorely let down.

In the Trap
(2019)

This Movie Will Disappoint You
Ok for starters, I don't get what all the "I don't get what happened" and "I don't understand" reviews are about, it's not that hard to comprehend and actually, is sadly predictable.

Next, its been a long time since I've just utterly despised the lead protagonist in a movie, but this whiny "guy" takes the cake. Yeah I use the word guy loosely. His high pitched crying girl voice is worse than nails on a chalkboard, in fact I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than listen to another word come out of his mouth. He completely ruins the movie on an entirely different level outside of the movie not being good to begin with.

I generally like the good vs evil possession type horror movies, but this one is just awful. It's not even remotely scary or disturbing by any means. In fact, you just want the protagonist to die a horrible death so the movie will end quicker.

Just skip this one.

P. S. Ok so the movie starts out with the lead as a kid, something bad happens and there's scenes of him after dealing with the tragic event, then it jumps to him being a grown adult. Ok, no biggie movies do that all the time, but then it cuts back to him being a kid again out of nowhere and then jumps back to him as an adult again! WTF? Whoever edited this movie is terrible and should never be allowed to touch a movie ever again.

Don't Go in the Woods
(2010)

Don't Watch This Movie is what it should be called
Oh where to begin, where to begin. Let's start easy with the premise of this movie and how stupid it is. So, it is kind of a known tradition by most music fans that many of bands in the past have shuffled off to some remote place to write and record an album. Just like some authors do it too. They do it to get away from any and all distractions and to allow their artistic and creative juices to flow. These morons however choose to go on a camping trip to do this. Yep, a band goes into the woods to write music, with no shelter from the elements for their instruments and you guessed it, no electricity to power their instruments! All to try to score a record deal. So, they only bring acoustic guitars, except the blind bass player, yep, you read right and I'll even say it again, blind bass player, he brings his actual electric bass. Have fun playing that in the woods with no electricity or amp. Amazingly though, when he plays his bass sounds like it's being played through an Amp. It must be one of those magic fairy dust woodland amps that are invisible and don't require electricity. The drummer brings simply a snare and some bongos and well the keyboardist lucked out that his instrument can work on batteries. Yep they're gonna make great songs that will totally land them a record deal, please.

So now the campsite is set up and they start cranking out tunes, yep this movie straight turns into an episode of Glee, and you thought you were watching a horror movie. Jokes on you if you actually watch this movie.

These guys all look like hippy Beattie rejects and the blind bass player resembles the looney tunes buzzard. Google it if you're too young to know who that is. Did I mention the songs were terrible? So Mr head honcho, singer... even though they all sing? Anyway won't let them do drugs or drink or have phones, nothing. How are these guys expecting to let their creative juices flow without stimulants? Yeah, they think they're that good, rolls eyes.

Night one some of the guys gfs and some groupies apparently stalked them and crash their little song writing get away. Gotta have chick's in a "horror" movie right? Oh and guess what? Just like in an episode of glee, the girls can sing and play and song write too! Oh boy!

So Mr Madonna singer is super mad and is treating his gf like dirt, the rest of the guys are happy to see girls and booze like real Rockstars would be in, well any situation. Next morning Madonna wakes everyone up bright and early to run the girls off so they can focus on writing their Mr Hollands Opus masterpieces. This is as far as I've honestly gotten, that's how annoyed I was with this stupid movie, I paused it to write this review. Not to mention I've FF through a 1/4 of it just to avoid listening to the stupid songs, cause yeah they all suck and sound the same. What do you expect when you restrict yourself to only instruments that can be played without electricity cause you thought it was a good idea to write and record, oh yeah, we all know how songs sound the absolute best on little pocket tape recorders right? Moving on, write and record music in the woods.

I'll come back and update after I make it to the end of this steaming pile of doody, assuming I can. Never have I wanted every character to die so badly in a "horror" movie, if you can even call this that.

Update time: So it got worse and the killer cant kill these tools fast enough. They managed to get so many more songs out OMG. There might be one teeny tiny saving grace, no no I changed my mind. If you do decide to watch this, pay attention to the ridiculously goofy and dumb faces the singer makes when singing oh it's too much lol. Just terrible God awful movie, avoid at all costs.

Director's Cut
(2016)

Got Really Annoying Really Fast
This movie isn't funny, in fact after about 15 mins I was ready to throw my remote through the screen just to shut Penn up! Oh and all his dumb goofy faces he makes through this entire thing, never have I ever, wanted to punch someone in the face so hard, in my life. Skip this garbage.

Curse of Aurore
(2020)

These Characters Deserved to be Cursed
Ok so, this movie potentially maybe could've been promising and good, but the three mains are so unlikable and despicable you just end up hating yourself for watching the movie and them even more for ruining it. That being said, there's 2 guys and a gal btw, the girl is tolerable for awhile but eventually falls in line with being disliked like the other two. In fact if anything, you feel bad for her being stuck with these two loser wastes of human excrement.

So for starters, this a found footage so automatically that means shaky garbage camera work and stupid tired excuses for why they have it on 24/7. This genre of horror is cheap to make so it gets abused severely by wanna be horror movie makers. These movies could be tolerable if the characters and scripts weren't so awful to go along with the cheap garbage camera work.

Onto the crappy characters. Kevin, long hair and beard stereotype stoner, just also happens to be a kleptomaniac. So, not only does he steal stuff throughout the entire movie, he then has the nerve to try and justify why he did it when he gets caught, which isn't hard because he shows off his stolen items each and every time. He sadly doesn't die fast enough.

Now Aaron, if you ever needed an example of the most two faced, pessimistic, whiney cry baby, then look no further than this guy. He complains about everything! Then pouts about it, then complains some more, then talks trash, then when he's actually talking to your face directly, says the opposite. I'm sure we all have met or know someone like this and avoid them as much as possible. Sadly, can't avoid this guy, he's a main character and always present in the movie.

Last, Lena, ever optimistic and sort of naive you feel sorry for her but at some point, you're waiting for her to wake up and get a clue, but she never really does, which is annoying.

It's just a sad, pathetic attempt at a movie which sadly is based on a true story yet, does the story no justice and completely ignores why the true story is well known in this area of Canada and remembered so long after it happened.

Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?
(2016)

I Don't Even Have To Watch This...
Tori Spelling? James Franco? Remake?

I see these three things put together I already know FAIL.

These long, drawn out reviews are not needed and unnecessary. Clearly by people who just like to hear themselves talk. Skip those and skip this movie.

Death's Door
(2015)

This Movie Will Send You Through Deaths Door
This is so bad, I'm just going to make a checklist of all the things you expect in a movie to be good, that are inevitably bad in this terrible movie.

Acting: Horrible Editing: Atrocious Continuity: Absent Story: I've seen toddlers tell better stories SFX: What SFX?

Scene: One Place=cheap movie

Skip it, unless you like to torture yourself.

Real Cases of Shadow People: The Sarah McCormick Story
(2019)

Hold Up! Let Me Explain...
Ok so, this movie has a lot of hate coming at it and I feel a lot of it is undeserved. It's already got a couple of strikes against it out of the gate. One, it's found footage and this is not a particularly well liked or received genre. However, it's very inexpensive to make, so they keep dishing them out. Second, they tried the old Blair Witch trick about being real and true when it's not and people are only gonna roll with that once, and be insulted when someone tries to do it again. Third, this movie is very incorrectly categorized. To call it a horror, action thriller when it's barely even one of those is gonna make people mad going in expecting to see a movie of that caliber and categories and this is very far from that.

I'd almost be ready to just call this movie a comedy, cause honestly it's funny as hell and the chemistry with the main three is better than in a lot of other movies. If you go into this movie expecting to see a horror/comedy FF then I think you'll enjoy this a lot more.

That being said, be prepared that this is shot and the original "story" was set to be a documentary. In this instance, more of a "mockumentary." So, it's a documentary/really mockumentary with all the "behind the scenes" film included, comedy, that turns horror in the end. That's what it should've been categorized as. Anyone who says this was stupid and not funny, or found no humor in it at all, has no sense of humor and clearly has a stick up their butt that probably needs surgical removal before they can and will enjoy life.

I only went 10*, cause while this actually has pretty smooth and nice filming for being a found footage film, it's not a perfect 10* movie, sorry. I did it to offset all the bunk 1* star reviews from the close minded haters that gave this movie unfair 1* reviews that it didn't deserve. In reality it's about a 6/7 * movie.

So, hope this helps, just prepare yourself for what this really is and I think you'll enjoy it a lot more, until next time, keep rolling.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
(2007)

You Can't Please Everyone...
Wow, ok so the reviews are all over the place for this one. As we all know, art is subjective and watching and either liking or not liking this movie is going to depend on if you enjoy these types of movies or not. That being said, I do need to touch on a few things.

First, some of these reviews are written by complete idiots. This movie is not like 50s or even 60s horror and it definitely IS NOTHING LIKE EVIL DEAD! Are you serious? "Oh Evil Dead had demons in it, so does this movie, they are so alike" NO! This movie and Evil Dead are NOTHING alike and Evil Dead or even Army of Darkness should not come to mind watching this. The movie stands on its own merit for being original and not a cheap copy or rip off of something else as others have said.

Next, it is way too much of a slow burn for what it's supposed to be, a comedy-horror. In fact, this actually makes you begin to dislike the lead as opposed to liking and supporting him like in most comedy-horrors. The lead is not a very good actor either. He puts off this wannabe reject Mark Wahlberg vibe and even the real Mark Wahlberg is barely tolerable. The other characters don't help or impress much either. Except Robert Englund, you can't go wrong with the great horror master himself. However, even his shining performance wasn't enough to put a gleam on the rest of the actors acting.

Last, I HATE CGI. What was supposed to be added and used sparingly to enhance movies and allow movie makers to do things and create scenes that would otherwise be impossible has been completely abused and over used and ruined many movies. I will take REAL SFX, even "rubber" as some reviewers liked to mention, BTW, it's not "rubber" it's latex and foam and liquid silicone. While yes, these are "like" rubber, it's not just plain old rubber.

All in all, it's not a bad movie, it's not a superb movie either. It's watchable and enjoyable and that's a lot these days in the B movie/stream world we live in today.

Sweet Girl
(2021)

Not THAT Bad...Not THAT Great Either...
Ok, so as you can see the reviews and ratings are all over the place on this one. I save the 1* ratings/reviews for the truly bad stinkers out there. As in people who can't and shouldn't act and never should've been cast and movies that are so bad they never should've been made, let alone put out for the public to see.

That being said, this is not one of those movies. It has Jason Mamoa in it for crying out loud! The actors and acting were just fine and they did a good job. What falls short is the script, and that's not the actors fault. They can only work with what they're given to work with. If you give the greatest sculptor in the world trash to work with, he can only create more trash.

The plot was not so bad either it was just executed very, very poorly. Big pharma pulls a certain medication needed to keep his wife alive from cancer and she dies cause of it. Any man would go off the deep end. That being said, like I said the story is what's crap. It's been done before and done way better. The twist was just lazy and unimaginable. Because it was lazy and dull it then caused the rest of the movie to be crappy.

The action and fight scenes are so unbelievable it just takes you out of the movie and ruins it all together. It was too long too. Right when it felt it should've ended, surprise slap in the face and 20 more mins of garbage.

If you like action and can leave your brain turned off and like Jason Mamoa then check it out, maybe you'll like it. I on the other hand can't turn my brain off when the movie is presented to me as being, or supposed to be realistic and non realistic things happen throughout the entire movie.

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