Lord_Orson

With a mixed critical reception I wasn't entirely sure what to expect here. However, it turned out to be an absolutely outstanding, captivating tale. The first half is an extremely morbid story of a 5 year old Indian boy who gets separated from his brother, ends up lost and homeless, and has to survive in brutal conditions in impoverished India. Not only this, but he also has to become road runner as just about every man seems to want to kidnap and molest him, and it really creates a harrowing portrayal of India. The performance from young Sunny Pawar is stunning and Oscar worthy in itself. It then flashes forward 20 years to Australia, where Dev Patel also puts in a good turn as the lead, still searching for his lost family.

The melodic music throughout links excellently with the stylish cinematography and sombre, sentimental tone. It really is just a thing of beauty. There's obviously similarities between this and Garth Davis' previous directorial efforts on Top of the Lake. The intensity of the movie really starts to build, with Nicole Kidman also putting in an impressive performance. There's a particular critical scene where Dev Patel searches online for his family and as he does so he reminisces of being back home as a child, then breaks down. It's incredibly powerful and immersive stuff, but the movie has a plethora of scenes like this. The conclusion is extremely intense and as emotive a finish as I have ever seen.

There is no doubt in my mind that this should be getting best picture. However, there's no black people or retarded singing, so nobody's interested.

9/10

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone prance about the stage for two mind-numbing hours, presumably searching for some plot and characterisation. I can't even recall what the characters were called, but they may as well have just been 'Ryan' and 'Emma', for that is all they were. It was an utterly tedious, unengaging experience and devoid of any quality or substance. I gave up after an hour.

Against my better judgement I watched the rest the next day. However, I may as well have been watching Shark Attack 7 or some nonsense like that, for I just could not be bothered even looking at the TV. The singing and dancing did little for me, with two leads not very adept at either. I derived absolutely nothing from this entirely vacuous experience. I really do not understand what the point of this was.

1/10

My previous experience with Star Wars has not been very positive. I watched The Phantom Menace when it first came out and thought very little of it. Recently I decided to watch the original movie and did not find it remotely enjoyable. I tried to watch the follow-up but gave up after 20 minutes: I was not enjoying it in the slightest and it just seemed a waste of time persisting with it.

I noticed that the Blu-ray edition of TFA was available online so I decided I may as well give this a try. Although my previous experience had been negative, it had good reviews and I thought I would give it a go, going into it with an as objective as possible frame of mind. I will now just cut to the chase: I thought it was absolutely dreadful and nothing quite prepared me for the complete and utter excrement that ensued. My intention here was to provide a detailed review but really I am struggling to do so.

Right from the start I was so incredibly bored that I just wanted it to be over. I stuck with it but at no stage did it evoke the slightest emotion. I like movies where I actually feel SOMETHING watching them. Whether it is humour, excitement, horror, provokes thought or just does anything at all really. With these big budget, commercially driven Hollywood movies though they are just extremely clichéd, simplistic, visually driven special effects experiences and we really are not being engaged on any level. I felt completely empty watching this, much like I do with all of these equally timid superhero movies and shows that saturate the entertainment industry nowadays. It is all just very cheap, basic entertainment for the masses.

I struggle to understand exactly why so many people seem to consider this to be in any way good, and I am also not clear exactly which type of audience would particularly like it. I understand it is obviously aimed at a nerdy young male child/teen demographic, but really I see this being too trite and timid even for a young audience, at least one who want to be engaged on some sort of level and do not just want to see the same old formulaic, big budget, dichotomous good guys v bad guys nonsense. Are you people not bored of this?

Regarding the antagonist, was he really meant to be in any way intimidating? It is somewhat difficult to find someone frightening when they look like a homosexual, French pornstar. This is really the most dastardly villain they could conjure up? He just existed as a character and there was no reason to particularly dislike him. The general characterisation was not in the least bit impressive, nor was the lacklustre, tedious plot. The black stormtrooper in the perpetual state of perspiration decided to go on the run, where he met a few characters who went on a monotonous journey full of turgid special effects and camp, childish humour. Then it concluded with the appearance of Luke Skywalker. At least this time they gave him no lines and it seems they have finally learned something. Mark Hamill cannot act and any future appearances should be continued in this manner.

Essentially, this was another highly predictable, tame, big budget Hollywood yarn laden with CGI effects and minimal characterisation, aimed towards children and the mentally deficient. In fact, I truly believe if I was to put on any random episode of Spongebob Squarepants, I would find it infinitely more engaging and interesting. This movie was instantly forgettable, a complete chore to watch and I found it much like Guardians of the Galaxy such was its childish, inane banality. It was devoid of any intelligence or originality and painful to endure. At no time was this a remotely pleasurable experience, being an utterly vacuous one.

To summarise, this is why I disliked it: it was predictable, mundane, tame, unoriginal, unengaging, unintelligent, lacking substance, juvenile, pedestrian and unentertaining. This was a quite miserable experience for me, and basically encapsulates everything I hate about Hollywood. I have tried to give Star Wars a chance but the series and all of its childish irrelevance will not be getting a minute more of my time.

Initially I thought it was very mediocre, although it did improve significantly as the story progressed. I have quite a lot of issues with it, however. The characterisation is limited, and to me that is a huge problem because I consider characterisation to be the key component of any story. Generally I prefer shows that are deeper, more engaging and with a heavier tone. That's not to say I automatically dislike the lighter approach in this genre – Justified did that and was one of my favourite shows. This though didn't have the charm, likability or witty dialogue that Justified had. Ultimately this show ended up feeling too superficial due to the lack of depth. I would also say it lags considerably behind some of the other top foreign language shows I have watched recently such as Romanzo Criminale, Gomorrah and Les Revenants.

The pilot was the weakest episode – I didn't really enjoy the first couple of episodes at all. We hardly had any backstory to Escobar – there was a scene where he threatened soldiers - but he was already an established criminal and before we knew it he was running his cocaine empire. I also still feel that I am ultimately none the wiser who exactly Pablo Escobar was, what motivated him and what made him the man he became. Despite the fact that Escobar's rise was covered at lightning speed, the start of the show felt like it was moving at a snail's pace, such was its banality.

That said, he was obviously the real star of the show and easily the most interesting character – the actor did an excellent job and conveyed the character with a James Gandolfini style approach, using subtle mannerisms and expressions with lingering menace. There was almost a degree of sympathy to the way he played the role at times. The character often committed these horrible acts with such detachment that you forgot it was really him behind all this, as he was caring for his family.

The other characters were really limited though. Gustavo was Escobar's right-hand man and was considered a 'brother'. The character just seemed to exist though - initially I had no idea what was going on with his affair - until they explained it was the Ochoa's sister. It wasn't until his last stand and he was killed that the character did anything for me. I have no issue with the actor who played the role but the character never developed as the show went on, and you can say the same about many of the characters. After Gustavo's death I really liked the scene between Pablo and his Mother – finally the show conveyed some emotion and resonated beyond just the surface. This gave a humanised quality to Pablo too.

The protagonist 'Steve' was also extremely limited. The character just did not grow at all – he was simply a cardboard cut-out cop. Pena was very limited too – Pascal could have played the role in his sleep. Really disappointing considering how fascinating he was as the Red Viper. The other members of the cartel were the same too, we learned virtually nothing new about them and they never grew. If the main characters in the story are the same as they were when the story started, is that really an example of good storytelling?

I think I would rate this a fairly solid 7/10. If there was more depth to the characters it could have been excellent.