Why are the rebels so ineffective and rubbish at ruling the galaxy? At last an authentic Star Wars film where storm troopers die if you point a laser vaguely in their direction but they themselves can barely hit a barn door despite years of military training, Chewbacca still can't say his own name, and the droids are actually cuter.
The sensitive use of CGI, costumes and real site locations made the film gritty just like the originals. It is a great film, and a happy return to form, but there were times when I did find myself asking "Isn't this plot eerily similar to the first Star Wars film?" Meaning episode 4 if you count those films. "But, but
" I hear you say, "What about the original cast, who can't be excited by that?" And yes, really I was. They looked older, and a bit battered (all except Chewie who didn't have a single gray hair on his body) but they were still the cast we knew and loved. Han Solo's death was neither a surprise or a disappointment, but felt aptly appropriate. I mean, who wants to see Hans being pushed in a wheelchair, fed or helped into bed by a Wookiee. Besides, I imagine Harrison Ford really can't be arsed with another film franchise of this scale.
Skywalker being held back until the end was inevitable and sets up the next film well. I must admit though seeing Mark Hamill standing on Skellig Rock off the coast of Ireland (close to where I grew up) did make me think "Gosh, so that's where he's been hiding all these years! Poor guy, I knew his career took a down turn
" I imagined bumping into him and making small talk while he collected his weekly shopping. "Hi Mark, tisn't the weather terrible?" I'd say, whilst we were simultaneously eying up the last loaf of bread, at which point he'd probably put up his hand to wipe my memory and say "This isn't the bread you're looking for..."
So just why is the Empire, sorry, First Order, so successful, and the rebels so ineffective and rubbish at ruling the galaxy? What the hell have the rebels been doing since the end of Return? All these years on and they are still a ragbag group who seem to have spectacularly failed to maximise the advantage they gained. I figure it all comes down to branding. The rebels, apart from giving themselves fancy new titles such as general of this and that, still do business in seedy bars, have no fixed abode and, simply put, lack order. The Empire however, successfully re-branded as the First Order, have a fancy new logo and salute (rather annoyingly identical to the Nazi one) and seem to have no issue recruiting. If they took in older recruits we can imagine the life choices of a teenager living in Tatooine. "Mum, I really want to be a rebel when I leave school." The mum would probably reply, "Erm...why don't you join the First Order? Have you seen their new brochure? It says here they offer training, good rates of pay, annual leave, opportunities for travel and a pension. Look you even get your own room with a view of five planets." The son may argue "But, I really want to be a rebel. I got a contact from that bar in Mos Eisley
" thrusting a dirty, crumbled piece of paper in her face. At which point the mother would probably retort "That seedy bar 'Cantina'? I don't think being a rebel is a healthy career choice. Whose side do you want to be on? The winning side, or the losing side?" And who could argue with that? Let's face it, historically, the rebels may have 'won', and yet some forty years later, the new improved, re-branded Empire is still ruling the galaxy.
Okay, putting aside the failures of the rebels, it was great to see a strong female character such as Rey. Resourceful, intelligent, beautiful and enviously knowledgeable about mechanics. Not only that but she didn't need training in the arts of the force. Nope, she didn't need to spend time in a swamp with a green alien clutched onto her back, she could just rely on her woman's instinct and learnt how to use the Force in a few short minutes – surely there is a Rosetta Stone CD opportunity for her there? 'Learn hour to use the force in a few short sessions
listen on the way to work, on the beach, or in the bath
.'. Fortunately we were spared the nasal, whiny voice, best reserved for the voice of the Joker, that repeatedly chanted "but it's not fair." Well Luke, I think you're right, it really ain't!