moodymiles

I'm a huge fan of horror and don't look down at all on any sub-section of the genre. Even though the whole found-footage thing feels a little played out, I still think that it can be an incredibly effective and powerful storytelling device when you used properly. So I am often willing to wade through the muck of bad and uninspired found-footage horror movies just for the joy that comes from discovering a really good and smart one.

Having watched this franchise go downhill more and more with each passing installment, I was ready this to be really bad but it somehow managed to land even below these almost nonexistent expectations. The writing and plotting are clumsy and obvious. The characters are completely generic and forgettable. And the acting is even uncharacteristically bad. The performances lack any shred of that very naturalistic, everyday quality that is essential to making the characters in any found-footage movie feel believable. Worst of all movie crimes, this thing is just plain BORING. Nothing grabs you, nothing compels you to want to know what's going to happen next.

This is a franchise that needs to be either discontinued or rebooted with some kind of new and fresh take or approach to the material. No joy or creative vision went into the making of this movie. It's clearly just people going through the motions on this one and it really shows on screen.

Just so this isn't a total downer, here are some good and lesser-known found footage movies that I've found that I would recommend checking out--THE CONSPIRACY, AFFLICTED, CREEP (more comedic and weird), LAKE MUNGO, THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN, THE ATTICUS INSTITUTE. Also, there's a movie called SAVAGELAND. It's not out yet, but I saw it at a film festival last year and can't wait to see it again.

First, the good--I have to say, EXETER is a great-looking and well-made movie. The cinematography is top-notch, the directing is solid, and the acting is not great, but definitely passable. Unfortunately, the movie fails in something that is even more fundamental, which is finding and establishing a consistent tone/style/voice/vibe that works.

If this movie had had the balls to just be an outright comedy, I think it might have had a chance of really working. But by trying to cling to some kind of "real" horror story and attempting to mine real scares and genuinely disturbing moments from the material, it really loses its way.

By not firmly picking a lane between comedy and horror, the comedic moments in Exeter (which could have had promise) don't ever get a chance to really take off and the moments of dramatic life-and-death struggle just seem ridiculous. Rather than working together and potentially complimenting each other, the horror elements in EXETER only seem to undermine the comedy and the comedy makes the attempts at a serious horror story seem silly and ridiculous.

Some movies to a great job at balancing real laughs with real scares, but they seem to ultimately have a firm grasp on their tone and what kind of movie they're trying to be (a horror movie with comic relief vs. a comedy with some occasional horror and scares). Recent movies like HOUSEBOUND or BLOOD PUNCH are great examples of movies that pull off this tricky balancing act by establishing a tone and sticking to it, knowing exactly what kind of movies they are trying to be.

EXETER, unfortunately, never seems to quite find a tone that works for it. The result is a well- meaning but muddled movie that aspires to be both a horror and a comedy but ends up missing both targets completely.

I was really excited for this one. Heard a lot about this movie and thought that the basic premise and setting were pure genius. It seemed like a sure-fire recipe to make a really wild and entertaining twist on the whole zombie genre with maybe some subtle social commentary on the education system, how we treat/view children, etc.

But then the movie started and everything about it was just so flat and terrible. In a movie like this, you don't need a ton of back story or character development, but you do want just enough to relate to the main characters, understand them, and ultimately come to care about what happens to them. This movie completely fails to establish any of this on any level. You learn that the Elijah Wood character is a struggling novelist--and that's it. The other faculty members are introduced as cartoony and poorly realized bad-sitcom stereotypes and try though you might, you can't make yourself care about what happens to any of them--not even a little.

The story unfolds in the most bland and predictable way imaginable. There are no interesting reveals, plot twists, character revelations--nothing. There's no build-up of suspense, sense of urgency, or mounting anticipation. The middle of the movie is just a series of meaningless and completely unentertaining story beats that drag on and start to make you wonder if this might have worked better as a short film or Saturday Night Live sketch.

But all of those faults might have easily been forgiven if the movie had succeeded at being laugh-out-loud funny. Unfortunately, the comedy is where this movie completely and totally strikes out. The attempts at humor are all totally obvious, tired, and lame. Rainn Wilson does a decent job but even he's wasted here. There is absolutely no sense of comedic timing or chemistry between the cast and their jokes and interactions all fall completely flat. With the exception of Rainn Wilson, this is clearly a group of actors and filmmakers who have absolutely no experience with comedic material and it shows. Worst of all, the comedy has no real edge or bite to it at all.

So to sum it up--"Cooties" is a movie with a great premise and setting, but tedious storytelling, unmemorable characters, and, most disappointing of all, attempts at humor and comedy that miss the mark so badly, you come to fear the next joke more than the next zombie attack.