ario-34119

IMDb member since May 2016
    Lifetime Total
    50+
    Lifetime Filmo
    5+
    IMDb Member
    7 years

Reviews

Post Mortem: No One Dies in Skarnes
(2021)

Is the European police like this in real life?
I've tried some European TV shows lately, one from Iceland and now this. Both portrayed the police this way, not giving half a f-- when something strange happened right in front of their eyes. I really am starting to think this is a factual portrayal. Of course, it could be because the writers, producers and directors are all idiots. I mean, mentioning the police was just an entry point. The fact is, most characters in both shows act and react illogically to the situations around them. They act and react according to where the writers want the story to go to, without giving a sh-- about whether it's natural or not. And the producers and directors agreed to it.

Some examples, without giving any spoiler for people who want to give this a chance: 1. You go to a place to find some kind of explanation to an incident happening to you earlier. Keep in mind that this is your intention, finding explanation. When you find exactly what you're looking for, that's what you do to it?

2. I've been thirsty before, badly dehydrated from exercise and/or work, but I don't spill my soda all over my chin and clothes. Not to mention, if I stole said soda, I would've been patient enough to not drink it right there and then at the crime scene. I would've tried to get the hell away from there as fast as I can.

3. And the police. Don't even get me started on the police.

It's too bad because this show has potential. The premise is good, the dialogues are okay, the actors perform well, the production value is good. The bad writing ruined everything.

Y: The Last Man
(2021)

They don't know how to make a show
To make a successful show, the first thing you need to do is grab the audience by their collars and force them to sit still on that couch. First episode: you show the audience that most of the main characters are unlikable. Fail. THE main character, a total idiotic a-hole, who is, did I mention this before, that's right, unlikable. Fail. But Diane Lane gets me to episode 2. And what happens in episode 2? Absolutely nothing! I mean, literally, the story moves ZERO inch. You can skip this episode and go straight to the next episode, and you won't miss anything. Oh, and we get to see the main character as totally useless. Also he's the only one in the entire city who doesn't meet anyone, when everyone else are crowded in big groups everywhere. I mean, I didn't Google this or anything, but I thought the female population is bigger than the male, meaning if all men dies, that would be less than half the population. You walk a mile and you're bound to meet someone, but not this guy, and for days too.

So, yeah, you go straight to filler episode by the second episode, and you fail to grab me. Maybe you still have some fans of the comic books, but keep this up and you'll lose them too. Hire better writers. And directors.

Otwórz oczy
(2021)

Promising start that eventually disappoints
Good production value, beautiful faces left and right, inconsistent but overall okay performance all around. That being said...

It starts slow but with quite a good build up of thriller and mystery, with some good horror scenes as well. But that's all there is to the end. Let me tell you a little bit about storytelling: give a series of mystery that makes the viewers guessing and theorizing, and after a while (in a six episode season, maybe the end of episode 2) reveal some kind of answer that makes the viewers go, "Damn, I was wrong!" or "I knew it!" Either way is good. Then deliver some more mystery and story that seem to support the first reveal, then after a while (perhaps episode 4,) give another, preferably bigger, reveal that turns everything upside down. It's called a twist. More and more mystery, then reveal everything in the season finale. But of course, the last reveal doesn't mean the story is concluded, as there's new mystery up ahead that makes the viewers eager to see the next season.

Instead what we have here is simply a stack of mysteries compounded one on top of the others with ZERO reveal, right until the end. I'm dead serious, you know absolutely nothing about the story you just watched for six episodes and where it's going by the end of the season.

Watch Inside Number 9 season 2 episode 2, The 12 Days of Christine. It's also a stack of mysteries compounded one on top of the others. BUT, in the final 90 seconds or so, they reveal everything that makes every single mystery, scene, shot, dialogue and even prop meaningful. It works because it's a 30 minute episode and that big reveal in the end. A 6 episode season with no reveal at any given point? Sorry, it doesn't work.

Not Safe for Work
(2014)

Producers are too cheap for better actors
I like Johnston very much. He doesn't direct many films, but I like most of them. This one also showed promise and was built up nicely, but I couldn't reach halfway because this kid Minghella killed my mood. A colleague (which was nice to him and probably a friend) was murdered in front of him, and that's his reaction? Then he found his actual friend dead, and that's the best face he could come up with? And those are only two examples out of tons of others. The guy can't act if his life is depending on it and he's cast as the lead, whatever Johnston was on at that time, I want it. Or, more likely, the producers were too cheap. I mean, really, there is zero recognizable name among the cast. You could at least put some money on the leading male and female actors, for marketing purposes at the very least. But nooo, it has to be the cheapest possible. Well, this is what you get.

Sky Rojo
(2021)

Awesome start, yet eventually disappointing
Alejandro Amenabar pulled me into Spanish cinema with his amazing storytelling and writing, which his equally awesome senior Pedro Almodovar couldn't do for me due to genre choice. So, the premise of a Spanish show about kick-ass whores being hunted by incredibly handsome pimps, wrapped in a sexy (more like porn, actually) atmosphere, really excites me.

And to my delight, the first season delivers! There are a few loose knittings that could be tighten, like how fast the guy recovers and how on Earth a skinny anxiety ridden junkie could run without stopping for what seems like 8 hours or so. Still, all around performance is good, writing is good (lots of heart and thought provoking messages are not shoved down our throat,) storytelling is good, those earn this show a 7 for me, with the beautiful faces all over the show (it's a bit hard to find ugly faces here) and the porn visual wrapping push it even further to a solid 8! I couldn't wait to watch the second season!

And here's where everything goes downhill. I hate story stretching. I hate template tracing. I know it's an industry, but it's not manufacturing industry, it's art industry, so creativity is an obligation here, not template.

Sadly, that's what they're going for. The three guys should have easily been corpses by the first episode and the girls move on to new story arcs and new exciting adventure. I mean, literally, the chances are solidly set up by the end of the first season. But instead, they use the successful template and make the second season an exact copy of the first. One girl is badly wounded, one is still an idiotic junkie, and they are hunted by the same three guys.

So, yeah, thank you for the excellent first season, but no, thanks.

Black Widow
(2021)

Up there with Winter Soldier
Great movie, worth the years of wait. Leaving the MCU formula (which is what I was hoping for for phase four since it's no longer needed due to the popularity of the MCU,) good writing with lots of heart, good combination of shots and scores, and awesome action sequences, which is what I thought would be lacking considering the director's experience, glad I was proven wrong. Excellent performance all around. Although still acceptable, Pugh is a bit chubby for the role, which is surprising seeing that Marvel always put the cast in a rigorous workout for their roles.

Katla
(2021)

The synopsis is a total exaggeration.
The premise is very good, but (maybe it's just me, or I don't understand the culture of the country) I don't find people reacting or behaving logically or like they should be (again, in accordance with what I consider common sense, which might be different from one culture to another) hence making the pace to be snail slow.

They act like they find people covered in cinder muck around a volcano every other week. Not to mention these are people who's been missing for a year and people who have an exact duplicate of them, only twenty years older. There's zero curiosity as to how this could happen and/or why, life just goes on. And it's not like the police are busy catching criminals and the farmers are up to their necks in orders. They're doing nothing in an empty town. And don't get me started with the volcanologist guy. He's a scientist, act like one, for God's sake.

Also from the other side, the mysterious appearing people, they also act like it's just daily life. As if it's normal to wake up and one year has passed, or you wake up to find your boyfriend and acquaintance are twenty years older every other week. Really, everyone seem to take every occurrence, however strange it is, in stride. How am I supposed to be excited when the characters are not?

I really am attracted by the premise, really. It seems to be original and interesting, but since they don't seem to be all that interested in solving the mystery (or even consider it a mystery) then it just becomes a drama that I'm not interested in. I only got half way through episode four when I gave up. However, if you can stomach the slow pace and illogical behavior (again, it could just be me) then this show might be for you.

"...the peace and tranquility in the small town of Vik is dramatically disturbed." Is it really? Dramatically disturbed? I don't see it.

Morgan
(2016)

Need to learn more from daddy and Uncle Tony
Because, Luke, you're wasting amazing talent and their awesome performance with this amazingly stupid story. I am watching one stupid decision to the next from "supposedly" brilliant scientists and a professional assassin. Amazing actors like Michelle Yeoh, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Toby Jones have nothing to do, yet they still shine with what little they have. Giamatti has quite an "okay" chance to shine and he performs the $#1+ out of it. So, yeah, the four stars are for the actors, because the writing is so bad that it makes everything other than the actors really bad.

An Inspector Calls
(2015)

Why only 7.7 (when I wrote this)?
When it manages to be a suspenseful thriller that keeps you on the edge of your seat without a single drip of blood, a monstrous villain, life threatening situation, but simply by talking. A masterpiece. The director really knows how to deliver the story, (which I found out later was based on a play that had been made into numerous movies over the decades) and how to reveal the perfect amount of information piece by piece at the right time to keep the suspense. Accolades also go to the superb cast with no single exception. Watch this, you won't regret it!

Greta
(2018)

Chloe's potential wasted
The potential is there, but not followed up by better writing. The character wasn't build enough for us to root for her. In fact, what WAS built, that she's supposed to be intelligent and independent, is not shown when it matters. I mean, how long has she been in the house without being shackled, days, weeks? And when she has the courage and opportunity to fight, that's what she does, panic?

I was here for Chloe, but she actually didn't seem that much interested in the character and story that she didn't give much in her performance. Apparently she's right, because the story is lame.

The Rookie
(2018)

More shows should be made like this
Damn, I missed this show and playing catch up now, getting halfway through the second season. It's an excellent show that producers and writers should take pointers on. Every single character is likeable with each traits and uniqueness. Nathan Fillion is killing it with his boyscout good guy persona.

Reading the IMDB synopsis and watching the first few episodes, it sounds and seems like a light police drama show. Don't be fooled. As the season progresses, the story gets heavier and grittier, with more action and life threatening situation. As you get into the second season, every episode is hard, gritty and action packed. Yet each is still balanced with the light humor and fun the show carries from the start.

I actually don't know if there's any show like this after Bones ended. The perfect balance and the great writing. Perhaps SWAT comes close. I mean, SVU and Criminal Minds are good shows, but they are too dark for my taste. Thank God I found this.

Stumptown
(2019)

Hit and miss
It's okay, but a hit and miss. Most characters are unlikeable, which seems mandatory in today's shows, and as you expect them to grow and be better throughout the season, they don't. Some get even worse than when they started.

Let's start with the main character. They start the season showing clear PTSD symptoms on Dex. At the end of the season, she's still in denial and goes to the bottles instead of professional help. Yeah, that's great writing and excellent example for the audience. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't have lasted the whole season if it weren't for Ansel and Tookie.

Episodic writing, some are decent and some are less so in the first dozen or so. After that, it goes downhill every single episode.

So let's start season two with Dex getting professional help and keep her from literally effing everyone she can get her hands on, please, or I'll just stay with The Rookie.

The Umbrella Academy
(2019)

Negativity is not my cup of tea
I stopped watching after only one single episode because I don't like the characters, but since my family has been nagging me to watch it together, I finished a season, more or less. It's not a bad show, good cast and performance, good production value, and the writing is good, as in dialogues, cause and effect logic, funny, except for characterization.

When $#1+ happens, you can either be positive about it or be negative, it's a choice that makes us who we are. When the writers decided to bring out the worst in human out of every single character in the show, then I know it's not my cup of tea. Zero respect, zero empathy, zero trust, I mean, you name every single trait there ever was in humans, and the writers choose the negative side for the characters. I don't know, since it seems like most TV shows are similarly full of negativity these days, and people like these shows, maybe I'm the abnormal one. I like being positive and I like seeing people being positive, respectful, empathic, and if not trusting your family, at the very least willing to listen to what they have to say.

You know what? If this is the world we live in today, I am so very glad to be abnormal.

The Vault
(2017)

Deserves a little higher ratings
It's not the best, but it does deserve a bit higher ratings than it is (when I write this). Okay story, okay acting all around, James Franco is definitely underused, scary enough through the use of atmosphere building, no cheap jump scares and unnecessary gore.

Yes, it has a bit pacing problem and some filler scenes and dialogues, but not too much, in my opinion. The worst problem is actually characterization. Sisters who hate one another, their brother and some other insignificant petty criminals who are trying to get out of their previous problem by doing another crime. You won't lose sleep if they all got killed in the process.

So yeah, if you have nothing better to do or watch, it's quite entertaining.

The Silencing
(2020)

It's good enough...
Good acting all around, good pacing, good setting, okay story. It's good enough to get a 7. I add another star for Coster-Waldau. He's a broken alcoholic a-hole, but he's carried the character with just enough to make me like him. And that's a big plus considering so many writers and directors these days don't know the importance of a likeable main protagonist. I left so many new series after a few episodes exactly because of that. Some movies suffer the same problem as well. This one doesn't.

Cursed
(2020)

No redeeming quality
Let the producers waste their money on this garbage, you don't need to waste your time.

I can barely withstand the first episode. There is no story, not one single good looking face and only one interesting character, Pym, as everyone else are unlikeable or bland at most, including the main protagonist. Right until the end, you have zero clue of each character's motivation. You don't know who's good and who's evil, what's the threat and who's threatened. Just one hero you have to accept as is, not because of her character traits or something she does, whose purpose in the story escapes everyone. This is storytelling at its worst, believe me.

You can't help comparing it with Warrior Nun as similarly female led action fantasy released at the same time. It's not perfect either with slow boring episodes of telenovela as the writers trying very hard to make Ava a total unlikable a$$hole. However... The first episode clearly set the story straight as to where this is going, what the purpose and motivation of each character going ahead is, with expected twists and turns obviously. And you tolerate the five or so bad episodes after that due to an abundance of redeeming qualities, let's list 'em...

Gorgeous people left and right that you actually have a problem looking for bad looking faces in there. Alba Baptista's magical smile makes not only your lips smile along, but your heart also; It would be a whole different story if someone else is playing Ava; You can feel her cheerfulness and it's contagious. Clear cut interesting characters that you want to know more of, even the "supposedly" evil ones. Kick a$$ and take names team of heroes that you want to cheer on is set early.

As I said, it's not perfect, but writers can really learn a lot from Warrior Nun. The producers of Cursed, at the very least, could try harder to find writers of similar quality and replace the idiots they have on hand.

Midsommar
(2019)

Should've read the reviews on this site first
I read the reviews from other sites and see the 7 ratings from IMDB and I fell for it. I should've read the reviews here before watching. When there are 1s and 2s and there are 9s and 10s, you better believe it every single time, the 1s and 2s are the right ones.

This film is unwatchable. Every single character is unlikable. A group of stupid a-holes and a needy boyfriend-dependent girl (what is this, the 60s? Girls are not like that anymore) although Pugh is okay in her performance and the Seth Rogen wannabe (for the love of God, I don't know why anyone wants to be Seth Rogen) just drags his feet around like a zombie, I can't tell whether he can't act or simply having no material to work with, as I suspect the latter because this is utterly bad writing. The only sensible character is a girl on the phone whose face we never see.

Around the 30-40 minutes mark, as they reach the village, which is full of beautiful faces (Sweden does not disappoint on this, I'm telling you) I put a bet on the plot and guess what, it's exactly that without any twists and turns. There is no horror, there is no thriller, just creepiness and trippy shots. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's plenty of gore. But gore doesn't automatically make a film a horror film. It's the build-up to the act that results in gore that's important. Is it horrifying or thrilling? In this film, the answer is no. On the first instance you can easily guess what's gonna happen, like, ten minutes prior to the actual act. On another instance, you just see a mutilated body without any hint whatsoever as to what happens to it. No, it's not horror, it's just disturbing and unnecessarily disgusting. There's a f---ing scene (I mean, literally, a scene of a couple doing a sexual intercourse) that is the most disgusting scene I've ever seen in a film.

Some people compare this to The Wicker Man. I'm telling you, let's not talk about Lee's version, Cage's version is way better than this. People who rate this film 9s and 10s and not friends and family of the filmmakers, can I have what you're smoking?

The Invitation
(2015)

Fake ratings by friends and family
You can tell when most said it's slow, followed by excuses. Because they knew this film was boring as hell but had to say something nice. I'll tell you how boring it was. This film was about 95 minutes long and a resemblance of something interesting came up at the one hour mark, which turned out to be a false alarm. Then something interesting really happened at 1:20, which was the final 15-20 minutes of the film (which was anticlimactic, by the way, as the main character contributed absolutely nothing to everything that happened then.) Before that, it was nothing but talk talk talk. Hey, I don't mind people talking in films, except in this film, about 20% of the first hour was necessary to the story, the 80% was filler dialogues and scenes. I'm telling you, watching paint dry is more interesting than watching this garbage. If you don't believe me and want to give the fake reviewers a chance, ask yourself in the end, what happens to Claire?

Hold the Dark
(2018)

Do you even have a question?
Some people are waiting for an answer in this movie, some even say a movie doesn't have to have everything answered. As for me, this movie is so senseless that it doesn't get me to come up with a question to ask. If you have to read the book to understand a movie, no need to make it into a movie, I'll just read the book.

Such a shame, I expected so much from Saulnier fresh off the amazing thriller Green Room, but he failed big time with this boring senseless movie that totally wasted Wright's potential. I guess not everyone have consistency in their work.

Into the Forest
(2015)

Don't believe the genre listing...
It's a drama, period. When I write this, it's listed as drama thriller. Seeing it somewhere else and from other reviews, it used to also be listed as sci-fi. It's not. It's drama. No sci-fi, no thriller. As a drama, it's okay, though not the best either. But as I expected sci-fi and thriller as well, I was totally disappointed. And what's with the title anyway? I don't think I have seen anything where the title is the absolute end result of the story instead of the story itself. Yeah, the title represents the final 2 minutes of the film. People may have different opinions about this, but I believe it's misleading.

Awoken
(2019)

Bad writing strikes again...
As the film crawls along with cliche dialogues, illogical decisions and bad jump scares in snail pace. Nothing good in this one, except for the actors who actually are okay, given the material they have to work with, which earns this film those two stars from me.

The Axiom
(2018)

What the f...??? Just what the...???
I felt cheated. The first half was good. For an indie film, the production looked good, performance was marginally okay all around, the story was promising and delivered well with dialogues that didn't feel forced. The comic relief was there with filler dialogues, but still bearable.

Then came the second half and everything went downhill from there. Non-existent motivations, stupid decisions, unnecessary sex scene, verbal explanation to everything (which didn't explain anything anyway.) I mean, everything bad in a film, you name it, it was there. It really felt like a good writer was writing a script and left it half way done, replaced with a really bad writer, or the director took over without finishing the script and made things up as they went along. Yes, I'm sure this was what happened.

Final words: avoid this film at all cost. The two stars was for the okay production, good set and property, nothing more.

Triangle
(2009)

The phrase "underrated" for this film IS underrated.
Yes, because this film is so so much better than the 6.9 ratings it got at the time I wrote this. The bad reviewers probably weren't intelligent enough to understand the logic of the story, even when it's literally explained in clear blatant wordings by the characters in the story, but when you don't get it, you simply don't. No, I didn't consider it a spoiler, because you wouldn't understand it until you reach the end of the film. Even then, you might need some time to process and connect the main theme of the film to said phrases.

Avoid spoilers any way you can because I'm telling you this is NOT a horror film, it's a mystery, hence needed to be watched without knowing a thing like I did.

Other than story and storytelling wise, the whole production quality is also very good. Supporting characters are awesome with good performance, even when they actually didn't have much to do despite their sizable screen time, leaving the gorgeous Melissa George the responsibility to carry the film throughout, which she pulled off fantastically. Cinematography is excellent and the music and sound are good.

Hmm, I may want to look up and check out other work of the director.

The Invisible Man
(2020)

Huge leap for Whannell
Really, in writing and directing, this is a huge leap from his Saw, Insidious and Upgrade days. I like all of those except The Last Key (which he also wrote), but this... this is different, this is amazing. How he builds atmosphere with POV shots, empty background shots, sounds and music. Supported like crazy by Moss's excellent acting, this film has got a solid 9 from me. I'm sure James Wan is proud. More than that, Whannell didn't just remake a classic movie or adapt Well's novel. He took Well's main concept and made his own story with his own theme for abused victims. With this, Whannell just enter his name onto my list of favorite writers and directors.

Locke & Key
(2020)

You know you're in trouble when the audience wish the murderer kills the main characters
Couldn't get past episode 7. I don't read the book, but at the beginning I thought this show really has potential. Too bad it has shi++y writers that have written the main characters to be more and more of a couple of certified a-holes from one episode to the next. After episode 6, I decided to give it one more chance. And what do you know, they wrote another main character that had been sober for years, back to drinking, which was an excellent promise of another main character being written into an a-hole. And who are we supposed to root for?

Don't waste your time on this trash. And how did it get the 7+ ratings when plenty of the reviews I've seen gave it a 1 to 4? With more or less the same tone as my review, if I may add.

See all reviews