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Lady Buds

Wokeness and Dope
Pretty much spells it out. One of those docs which makes you wonder who the heck is the target audience as the vast majority of people wouldn't watch this for free.

The Blockhouse

A fine cure for insomnia
I suckered myself into watching this funeral procession because Peter Sellers was in it. Anyone could have played his character, there was nothing in the character that allowed Sellers' acting to shine whatsoever. The premise was interesting but then, unavoidably, it became dark, repressive and unendingly boring because what else could it possibly be? It was based on a true story and the only 2 survivors were found in 1951 by a crew clearing German fortifications and they had survived 4 years in total darkness. Sellers' character killed himself near the movie's end so he didn't make it.

If you are having problems sleeping just fast forward to about the 30 minute mark and you'll soon be in sweet dreamland.

The Convincer

I loved it
No spoilers for me. Loved the acting, the characters and especially the plot. And no, the ending did not feel rushed at all to me. It's a great movie to just let yourself be entertained by.

The Carnivores

Vegan lesbian pseudo-horror idiocy
This does not work on a lesbian level. This does not work on a vegan spoof level. This does not work remotely on a horror level. This doesn't work at all except for a very funny appearance by a co-worker during lunches at one of the women's workplace (a bank). That guy was great!

This movie was expanded way past the run time it should have been - this would have worked as a short much better, but it just dragged and dragged. At the end you just don't about either of them, you just wish the dog had a different owner. Completely uninvolving movie that had possibilities squandered by a vision-less director.

How bad was it? The woman with the breakdown had buried a 10 lb roll of hamburger meat in the yard, came back out and dug it up and started smearing handfuls of it all over her face and mouth, started spitting it out, suddenly her AWOL girlfriend shows up to comfort her, they get in the shower, the end. The dog who you haven't seen for quite a while shows up, peers in the window at them and then leaves.

I seriously considered wasting more of my time reviewing this garbage but fortunately enough brain cells kicked in to prevent it. Please don't make the mistake I did and watch this!

Separate Lives

People are being too nice - this movie reeked
You want a good movie in this genre and time period (1994) to watch? See "The Last Seduction" with Bill Pullman and Linda Fiorentina. This movie is so boring I actually closed my eyes and kicked the recliner up more than a few times so to rest my brain.

Here's the spoiler - Linda Hamilton's character actually does have a split personality and her daddy's the one actually killing people and who Linda witnessed killing his wife and her lover when she was a child, causing the split. Since every possible suspect is already dead you know he's the killer before the final reveal. Belushi kills the daddy by defenestrating him (i.e., he chucks him out a window) and Linda checks into a mental health clinic to heal (and she's actually a psychiatrist!). The End. There, I saved you 1 hour and 40 minutes of red herrings, minor action, a car chase and James Belushi who always has the same fixed expression on his face in this movie no matter the circumstances. But a far better ending would have been to have Linda faking her condition (her alter ego Lena was sex-starved and violent) so she could kill with impunity and get away with it if she turned out to be a psychopath. At least that twist would have been cool.

The setup is insanely stupid - a middle-aged Belushi is taking psych classes from her, having retired from the homicide squad due to mental anguish from having seen his wife shoot herself and plans to be a shrink. Yes, you've read that right. Not only that but Linda, knowing he's an ex-cop, asks him to follow her around at night and film her alter ego. So he does. Much stupidity follows.

Happy ending reveals that Belushi has now rejoined Homicide and has wasted 3 years of study and money since he won't become a shrink now. But it's obvious they'll be hooking up after she gets released from the clinic and Belushi's young daughter of course approves.

Me, I'd run far, far away from a nutcase like Linda - no thanks.


Horror in the High Desert

This movie WAS horror(ible) - to watch!!!
To all of you who are giving high ratings to this pathetic excuse for a 'movie' - you are full of it and you know it. You have to either know people in the film or are the people in the film. The rating is simply far too high - anything above a 1 is too high.

Let me help those of you who read the reviews to save 1 hour and 22 minutes of your life - if you want to watch good horror try 'Wer' or 'Honeymoon', both on Tubi TV as this one was.

I love desert movies and I love horror, and they did show the desert but horror was nowhere to be found. If you want narration about a crime that is actually compelling then watch 'The First 48' series that films real homicide detectives trying to solve real crimes. The only crime in this movie was suckering the viewers like me into thinking there was going to be some interesting horror. Let me break the movie down for you:

Several people are interviewed during most of the movie, talking and talking and talking about Gary as if he was some monumental figure. He isn't. He's actually deadly dull, loves trains, has no career aspirations, lives with a roommate who has no curiosity as to where Gary goes on wilderness trips, is apparently super smart (no way!) but is actually so dumb that whenever he goes for an extended trip into the high desert HE TELLS NO ONE WHERE HE IS GOING OR HOW LONG HE WILL BE GONE. Repeatedly. Including his stupid sister who is so stupid that KNOWING he's often gone for a week called 911 to report him missing after TWO DAYS! Oh yeah, this genius limits the provisions and water he takes so he can practice survival skills, a lot of which he videos with a handheld camera and posts to his blog that supposedly has 50,000 followers (why??? He is so freaking boring!!!) and yet none of his relatives or friends are aware of the blog.

Anyhow, the interviews are filmed weeks after they already know what happened to Gary. So that you do not waste your time on a completely unscary movie, Gary had found some shack in the high desert with smoke coming out of the chimney, left and then came back at night with infrared turned on with the camera to find out who lives there, one of the dumbest possible things to do since it is dangerous in a dark desert when all the creepy crawlies including rattlesnakes are active, spots a disfigured man near the shack and the 'found footage' from Gary's camera manages to bore the viewers' socks off with shaky close-ups of the ground, bushes, and trees just because. Gary takes a gun out (when did he get that???), shoots about 6 times at the figure who has a machete and whose face eventually is captured in the final shot, just before he chopped off Gary's camera hand. We know this because they show a picture of it still gripping the camera. As soon as Gary saw the man with the machete, who honestly may have feared that someone was going to rob him, why didn't Gary LEAVE!??? The other guy had no light initially, but later lit a torch and even then in complete darkness would never have been able to track Gary nor catch up with him.

The movie ends with them babbling that other social media followers are attempting to identify the shack and the man who killed him. And one of them claims that they'll know by 2022, as if the film maker thinks people are stupid enough to clamor for a sequel.

Frankly, this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen even if the interviews did a good job of appearing real. That's because there was zero horror anywhere - you didn't even see Gary get his hand chopped off. I'll bet they made this movie for the cost of pizzas for the entire crew and $5,000 for the editing and adding music for the soundtrack. The found footage which is always supposed to be the most compelling part of any found footage movie is sleep-inducing and I detest the laziness of the director (Dutch Maritch) who also wrote this movie in making it. At least he wrote about a place he knew because Dutch was raised in the real town of Ruth, Nevada, where the movie is set. Dutch, since I'm positive you read all the reviews of your own movie, PLEASE think about what horror is actually about. You don't need to copy other movies but the good ones should be instructive to you. Do you honestly believe that people find your movie at all good that aren't your friends and relatives? I think there was a real horror movie hidden there somewhere but the pedestrian plotting and slow plodding of the movie killed it, along with the laughable final found footage.

Beyond White Space

Just say no
Production value was there but the plot and screenplay were really confusing, with nothing compelling in the whole movie except to find out what 'white space' or what was beyond it actually was. Want to know the ending? The ICE agent (I'm not kidding) gets into a space pod as the ship the Essex was being destroyed by the space 'dragon' and she escapes and enters a blinding white space and then was later ejected out as searchers somehow found her. That was it - we saw nothing, the dragon was gone and everyone else died. Infuriating that they couldn't even give the ending meaning.

I'll point out the Moby Dick elements that other reviewers didn't mention. The ship's captain's quarters had a figure of a white whale hanging on the wall and a model of a whale ship on a desk. The spaceship he captains is called the Essex, which was the name of an actual whaleship that was struck and sunk by an enraged sperm whale in 1820 in the Southern Pacific - of the 20 man crew, only 8 survived because they resorted to cannibalism. The first mate on that ship survived and had the first name of Owen, the same first name of the movie's captain's brother who was also the first mate of the spaceship. Part of the plot involves the captain's father who was killed when the dragon destroyed HIS spaceship, the Acushnet - that just happens to be the first whaleship that the author of Moby Deck (Herman Mellville) ever crewed on. At the end, part of Melville's Moby Dick famous quotation was directed at the dragon by the captain: "To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee." He spoke the 'spit' part. Finally, as you probably realized by now the Essex whaleship sinking was the inspiration for Moby Dick.

California Dreaming

2 Stars because of the bikinis
That's it. I read all the positive reviews here and I had to laugh. If that was the 'beach scene' in those days then people were a lot dumber back then than I thought. Tanya Roberts could not act her way out of a paper bag and neither could anyone else. It was like watching a high school production with all the cool kids and a few nerds trying to actually act. The plot was ridiculous - so Dennis shows up with essentially a jazz record his dead brother in Chicago made and some clothes, immediately gets hooked up with a free room and essentially hangs out for a few months without a job or any money and it's all cool??? Btw, his character is as worse a dweeb as you will ever see in a movie and somehow he gets adopted by 2 'cool' surfers, both of whom could not beat a hamster in an IQ test. At least I liked the ending when Tanya dumps the cheating boyfriend at the airport and the 'dude' in the welded-shut car (it was a bet to win a Corvette if he stayed in it for 6 weeks) had cement poured into the Vette to spite his cheating girlfriend.

If you like stupid movies with a late 70s vibe, sand, bikinis and acting that is non-existent then this is right up your alley.

Must alpinist

Nice mountains, confused story - no horror
Basically, idiots who have never hiked together before inexplicably take the long way over mountains to get to a canyon with a semi-precious mineral. I say that because it only took them about 2-3 days out of 16 to get from the canyon to the village - why didn't they just begin at the village and cut their time in more than half???

Anyway, this is a laughable attempt at storytelling although the first, standard part of the hiking was fine - no different than idiot Americans doing the same. But the rest was ridiculous and the ending just weird.

Find another movie if you want horror.

Le secret de la chambre noire

Boring but nice cinematography
Confused mess but pretty pictures. I watched until the end, thinking there would be more substance to this story but alas, there wasn't. As I suspected, when earlier in the movie the daughter falls down the stairs she was indeed killed, but when the young assistant carried her to the car and drove her towards the hospital and she fell out the door, the director made it appear she was still alive. But in reality she had fallen over the river bank into the river, as was alluded to in a later scene. Anyone would know that he was either simply imagining her or she was a ghost. As to the stupid scene where the father (the 'artist') shoots himself and the assistant then grabs the gun and inexplicably murders an innocent real estate agent who had been trying to buy the property for months, it was ridiculous. As was the 'falling in love' of the assistant and the daughter - there was nowhere near enough interaction between the 2 for that to happen.

A real waste of a potentially haunting ghost story.


Over 8 hours over 2 series and NO ENDING!!!
WARNING: For some reason I started watching the first 4-episode 1994 series and then stumbled on to the second 4-episode 1997 series and at the end of 8 freaking episodes I discovered that it ended with almost everything unresolved! Go read the Wikipedia entry on this series and you'll find out that the 3rd and final series is supposedly being filmed this year - 2021 - and who knows when you can see it! Oh yeah, a lot of the original actors are now dead - wonderful.

As to why I watched this - I thought it was going somewhere good - it doesn't. It was far more like a soap opera with elements of horror sprinkled in. The 'horror' is laughably unhorrific or outlandishly unbelievable - you'll know what I mean when Udo Kier makes his appearance. Nothing supernatural is remotely scary.

I am going to save you over 8 hours of viewing time out of your life - if you're a huge horror fan like I am, for the love of all that's unholy don't watch this mess unless you're looking for something to fall asleep to. I think it could have been a really good 3 hour movie but as a miniseries Lars Von Trier simply stuffed it full of soap opera garbage to extend it. And his stupid appearances at the end of each episode and the POINTLESS conversations between the 2 'sensitive' cafeteria workers who act as a Greek chorus (and for some weird reason are both Down Syndrome actors, as if Lars thought that's why they'd be sensitive to the 'spirits') are seriously annoying and pointless.

I still cannot believe I spent that much time over the past few days watching this - in my defense, after seeing the high reviews, I thought it had to get better and I was starving for some good horror having exhausted most of my streaming options. Mea culpa - you have been warned.

Wilderness Survival for Girls

Three Girls & a Man Too Dumb to Live
I'll get right to the point - all 3 of these girls if actually facing a killer would have been dead before a 3rd of the movie was over. If you are simple enough to think this is some kind of female empowerment movie than you might be as dumb as these girls.

Who doesn't check to see what gear a vehicle is in when you try to start it and it won't start? Hint - it was in neutral. Who leaves a girl by herself with a tied-up 48 year old man with a gun trained on him? Naw, you would never think she'd get sweet-talked into untying him, but you'd have been wrong.

The guy made some brainless moves too but I'm spending far too much time analyzing a true piece of nonsensical garbage that ends up with 2 of the girls plotting to kill the guy (because they think without evidence he killed 2 girls in a nearby cabin EIGHT YEARS AGO), but like idiots they had untied his legs and he ran off, eventually ending up going over a cliff by accident and killing himself, at which point they got rid of all evidence and drove off at the end saying 'we're girls, they won't suspect us' and evincing a desire to eat hamburgers. The End.

Best of all, as so often happens, none of the girls want to accept any responsibility - it's not THEIR fault!

If you want to see young females acting as stupidly as possible then this is your movie.

Matar a un hombre

Well filmed but ultimately not worth it
Basic plot spoilers here: Well-filmed, well acted plausible plot. Except of course that after killing the thug who almost killed his son, hassled his wife and assaulted his daughter sexually (without raping her) our hero wanders around after dumping the body over a cliff into the ocean, fishes the corpse's boot out of the water and later puts it on the corpse's foot, then again drags the body back to the truck he killed the thug in, drives to a police station and essentially turns himself in. What's the moral here? That it's bad to stand up for yourself when the police and the DA showed no interest in stopping the bad guy which caused our hero to take matters into his own hands??? And now that he's confessed he'll leave his family alone as he rots in jail and his family will undoubtedly be targeted by the dead guy's relatives.

He had all the time in the world on the private forested area he was working as a caretaker on to dig a very deep grave, dump the body and then cover it up. But no, we're subjected to him feeling bad about doing the right thing (protecting his family, for those of you too slow on the uptale) so eventually his conscience forces him to confess. BS. That's for suckers - just look at what the elites in U.S. today have gotten away with, do you think one of THEM would ever confess to their crimes???

The review that said this is 'Death Wish', Chilean style, obviously missed the point of that Bronson film completely. His character was just fine with meting out justice to those who deserved it, and this movie's character isn't. Fine - but this is no Death Wish and ultimately it bored me.

La llorona

Horror? Yeah, sure. A boring drama
If you're a fan of horror, skip this - it's a real yawner. If they had made this as a straight drama and dropped the pretense of it being a horror movie then I think it would have been really good had they set the premise as an aging genocidal dictator's false family life based on his supposed innocence crumble around him as his family discovers the truth about his atrocities. THAT movie I would have enjoyed. This? OMG, endless noise from the protestors outside, odd scenes with the spirits of the dead, and it just was boring in its telling of the story. I did really like the testimony of one of the natives who related some of the atrocities in front of a commission but it could not make up for the other deficiencies. The real horror to have been mined in this movie should have been the inhumanity of man to man, not this spirit theme which was not horrifying at all. I willed myself to keep watching it but with 25 minutes to go I was so irritated with it that I cut my losses - do yourself a favor and don't even watch it.

Inn of the Damned

Just trash - don't believe the positive reviews
It took me over 3 days to finally complete watching this dreck. The picture quality was atrocious, the direction bewildering, the motivation of the inn owners nebulous and the plot was ridiculous. I really wanted to take the time to write a thorough dissection of this garbage but then it would have stolen even more of my time. I only watched it for Alex Cord, curious to see him in a lead role - that's the last time I'll make that mistake. Bottom line - with the exception of some blatantly unnecessary nudity this movie is a complete, idiotic bore.

Dude, You're Screwed

Fake but fun anyway
I know I will offend some of you by saying that if you actually believe these shows are 'real' then you don't understand what 'reality show' means. It's hidden in the phrase right at the end - it's a SHOW.

Almost all of these episodes have dire predictions about the certain loss the current survivalist is facing right up to the point they miraculously stumble across someone who always counts as 'civilization'. And during these 100 hours of exertion they always do so time-consuming irrelevant survivalist crap that (1) takes them no closer to a win and (2) does not involve gathering food or finding and purifying water. And they're supposed to be experts??

But one thing they do well - they made me laugh. They're always ragging on one another - that's exactly what men do, so that alone made it worth watching. The second reason to watch is to spot the stupid crap they do and the unlikely endings. And though they even admit the correct thing to do in certain situations is to build a signal fire, in 2 situtations perfect for a signal fire THEY DON'T BUILD ONE. Nope, both do incredibly dumb alternatives both of which could have been deadly - but it's a SHOW!

Oh yeah, here's a major stupidity - they supposedly hunt their victim down at the beginning (everyone is aware it will happen, by the way) and when they 'capture' him they half-heartedly search him and amazingly the victim ALWAYS has something useful on him that they missed. After the first time you'd think a REAL show about survival would have them forcing the victim to shed all of his clothes, undergo a metal detector scan and a rectal exam, then clothe him in an orange jumpsuit so he can't smuggle anything in - but it's a SHOW so they don't.

Spoiler - everyone starves and most get little water. If you want to see an expert do the same, watch "Survivorman" who does so from 7 to 10 days. That dude, Les Stroud, over and over again proves how hard it is to 'live off of nature' because he almost is always starving and weakened when he's picked up. But at least he actually shows some valid pointers about how to stay alive long enough to be rescued.

L'orribile segreto del Dr. Hichcock

Let me be the first with an honest 1 star review - this SUCKED!
I am 63 years old and have seen more horror movies than you can believe and I appreciate the genre, both G and R rated. I did not appreciate this one even though it had all the necessary elements to make it really good except one - ACTION. I've seen boring movies but this one stands out - the necrophilia theme was only implied and then very quickly, but mostly you just had actors moving from one place to another until the end which tried to make up for the lack of anything that interesting happening in the rest of the movie (but doesn't). I'm sure at the time that the necro theme was novel and perhaps shocking but 58 years later the manner in which they approached it is laughable. Let me be clear - I am not saying that it may have been a terrible movie when it was released but if the current viewer in 2020 wants a movie worth spending your time on THIS ISN'T IT, but if you suffer from insomnia then this is your baby.

Survive the Hollow Shoals

A dumber person than this 'survivalist' doesn't exist
If I'd known this was a 'found footage' flick I'd have passed - these are just so lazy. However, I do like survivalist shows and initially it held my attention for that reason but after seeing the movie all the way to the end I'll present my observations as to why this movie blows chunks and should not be watched by anyone.

The summary said he's supposed to be out in the woods for 60 days - given that, here's what this 'survivalist' could not be bothered to do or to have:

(1) He never arranged for someone to check up on him regularly. For example, he could have had his wife drive to the drop-off location and look for plastic Ziploc bag secured to an agreed-upon marked tree trunk that would include his notes on his current condition and progress. And if he's in trouble then he could just be waiting there instead. We assume a cell phone is useless where he is, btw.

(2) He consistently got lost. No kidding - he didn't bother to take a compass with him - who in their right mind even goes on an overnight hike into wilderness without a compass?

(3) He has a nice large knife but no gun to protect him from bears or wild boars - that's just stupid. Other reasons to have a gun is for food procurement if you're desperate and not willing to slowly starve to near-death to prove you could last 60 days or for use in firing 3 shots to hopefully attract someone to help you since that's a standard 'help me' gunshot technique.

(4) He's a big guy and needs a lot of water and food, yet this moron brings a puny pint-sized steel cup to boil water in and didn't think to bring a freaking POT - why?

(5) Speaking of food, in 15 days I saw this guy eat 2 very tiny frog legs (the calories getting them were far more than actually in the legs) and a cup of boiled onions which also have very few calories. You need carbs, fat and protein and a lot of that to stay healthy or within a few days you began to slow down and don't think as clearly as your body begins slowing your metabolism to keep you alive. 15 days in and we're supposed to buy he's even mobile and not hallucinating???

(6) As soon as the 2nd night of hearing the noises he should have immediately vacated his shelter and followed the stream/river downstream and walked out, since he could never find the road. That way you have a source of water and potential food and if there's anyone living out there they generally live near water, and also bridges cross water so you might run into a road or even railroad tracks.

(7) Forget the noises - as soon as he found the fake skeleton he should have been long gone, if only to report the find to the authorities. Of course without a compass how would he say where it was?

(8) He also could have started a major bonfire with the intent of burning a lot of the woods around him in the hopes that some wildlife conservation official might spot the fire and come check it out. and save his sorry behind.

The man was so stupid he didn't even pack an emergency supply of high-calorie food in the event he decided to quit his effort or in the event he was physically injured and needed to recuperate before evacuating.

In conclusion, this movie should have been titled "Moron Gets What He Deserved in the Hollow Shoals". The ending is pathetic and an insult to anyone like me who watched it to the end - zero explanation of what was going on, absolutely zero. I did enjoy, however, picking his idiocy apart, so thanks for that.

Smoking Guns

No one's saying it so I will - the ending REEKED
This movie had its moments but they were scattershot, as if all the director could come up with were scenes that mostly led to nowhere. Case in point - we see a poker game in which one of the gambler's friends (a bad dude) stabs to death an obnoxious winner, and later we and the gamblers see him load something into the trunk of his car. When asked about it, he of course lied - so this is setting something up later in the film with the body or him, right? Nope - he disappears completely from the movie.

I also didn't get the narration from the lead character who is a real mess of a human being, and the pseudo-intellectual discussion of good and bad from a 'friend' of his who was mad at the gangsters for trying to rob his friend of a potential huge winning ticket on the horses because HE was going to rob him.

Then somehow after the lead gangster Richard gets the stuffing knocked out of him he pays one of his thugs to kill all 3 within the next 15 minutes BEFORE the final race is run in BROAD DAYLIGHT. But we only see him shoot the young idiot gambler - the other 2 are inside.

So after waiting all movie to see if he wins 360K in pounds the 2 gamblers commiserate over the death of the young guy, then as the 'hero' is walking off mad with a gun in his hand (that can only fire one shot) you hear in passing he's one the bet, then the screen fades to black and you hear a single shot. But none of the bad guys were in the bookie's joint so who was he shooting at? But the worst is that he won the bet and you get none of the satisfaction of having him win and share in the good fortune - nope, not this director, he's too smart, you see.

"Snatch" is a classic. "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" - hilarious. This wanted desperately to capture the essense of those 2 films but the result has nothing in common with them. This was a real loser - avoid it.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer

I'm angry as h@ll and you will be too - skip this atrocity
Wow - Nicole Kidman in 2017 looking hot as a firecracker and I still can't like this movie???

The oddity of the plot and some weird scenes drew me into the movie, I simply wanted to understand what the heck was going on. I am a literal person - when I watch movies, I don't sign up to interpret metaphors. I want to be ENTERTAINED with a good plot, good acting, good directing and good cinematography.

But this movie really angered me - the first part was like watching "Eyes Wide Shut". Detailed, precise, even surgical dissection of a perfect very upper middle class family, a common theme among Hollywood auteurs that detest suburbanites. A clinical examination, so to speak. But the movie's allusions break down as we see the antagonist threaten precisely the kind of illnesses the 2 children get, as well as the stages. And of course the medical professionals can't figure out what the problem is and worse than that the movie ends without you ever knowing how this evil teenager was able to cause these illnesses. Not only that, he said he'd spare everyone else if only the doctor (Ferrell) would choose one of his family to die - and the idiot does, by of course blindfolding himself and his children and his wife at the movie's end (he also duct-taped them to chairs) and whirled around shooting randomly with a rifle until he killed his boy. Then the movie ends with he and his remaining family meeting with the boy at a diner he's met with him in the past. All of this over the boy blaming (correctly) the doctor for having killed his father when he was a wee bit drunk during a heart operation. Oh yeah, this punk aimed his widowed mother at the doctor and her attempted seduction scene with Farrell was ridiculous.

The direction was pathetic, the plot insane though the acting was okay even if it seemed at times they were all drugged up. No explanation was ever given as to how the boy affected the children that way (paralysis in the legs and not being able to eat, finally bleeding from the eyes for the boy) nor how he alleviated the sole remaining female teen's medical problems.Do not waste your time.

The Houses October Built

Read thomasmorris-97428's review first, then mine
Everything thomasmorris-97428 said in his review is 100% the same as I felt after watching the stupid, unexplained ending. At the time he posted his review, however, the sequel had not been released and I only became aware of the 2017 sequel while searching for this movie, so naturally I read what its plot is and guess what? NONE OF THEM WERE murdered in the original because the same cast is back portraying the same idiots who, being incredibly stupid, are going to go through the whole pointless exercise again. Do you know who's dumber that the fictional characters? Two types of people - those who saw the original and are going to watch the sequel anyway and the brain dead producers who ponied up money to make the movies.

Here's the sequel's plot:

"Recovering from the trauma of being kidnapped last Halloween by the Blue Skeleton - a group who take "extreme haunt" to another level - five friends decide they must face their fears in order to move on. Heading back out on the road to visit more haunted house attractions, signs of the Blue Skeleton start appearing again and a new terror begins."

Face palm! :-(

Blood on Her Name

More like an 8 star but darned good
For a change I am not going to give spoilers. I am also rating it 10 stars to counterbalance what I believe are unfair ratings. All of the actors were believable and really good, especially the lead actress as you follow her through an unfolding nightmare and I agonized watching it, it made me really uncomfortable and I watch a lot of hard-core horror. This wasn't that kind of horror, just the kind you might encounter in everyday life. And it uses very effectively flashbacks the way movies should, not as a style but as a way to unfold the past to better inform you on what is really going on.

I was very impressed as I didn't expect as much as it delivered.

Our House

A horror movie almost completely devoid of horror
Before I really get into this movie, let me say that the acting was sufficient. However, the director allowed the movie to plod inexorably long for most of it without any true scares whatsoever, and the few that were present fizzled out predictably. It's not until about 17 minutes left in this movie that anything significant starts to happen (a disappearing/reappearing toolbox is not my idea of horror). Mind you, Netflix shows a TV-MA rating and I saw no evidence that it's other than a Brady Bunch PG-13 movie, IF THAT. I am a huge horror fan, not just the top-of-the-line flicks but also the Bs and some Cs - for example, last night I watched the Argentinian sub-titled The Cannibal Club on TubiTV that is rated R, essentially TV-MA, but which delivered some shocking horror scenes completely alien to this movie. And they spread them sparsely throughout the movie which makes it much more effective.

Now, if you still want to watch this movie, stop reading now. SPOILERS!!! NO ONE dies or is even injured in this TV-MA 'horror' movie - how is that possible??? And the few scenes they deign to show the viewer where someone is in peril leaves no doubt they'll be rescued. Not a single person in the movie was harmed to the extent that they even needed a Band-Aid. Someone mentioned there's a beautiful girl in it - yes there is but she has the brains of a squirrel. She supposedly was living with the young genius who co-designed the machine and had the same knowledge, and apparently loved him, but when he met with her to tell her the machine was bringing his parents' spirits back into the house she blew him off - this, after 3 months of waiting for him to get over grieving for his parents' sudden death. Who does that? Why wouldn't she at least go over to the house and make him prove it? And the repetitiveness of the days going by - OMG, like Groundhog Day. They get up in the morning and someone has reset this manual calendar to the current day, over and over again.

Everyone who is a horror fan KNOWS that if you awaken spirits that you think are your loved ones it almost always turns out they're evil - see Poltergeist and Pet Semetary for examples - they're just masquerading. Oh, yeah, this young genius also works as a retail cashier at some kind of electronics store yet we're supposed to believe he's working on a machine that will create wireless electricity to power your smartphone as you walk in the door and power machines without cords that will revolutionize the world? I'm surprised he wasn't slinging double mochas at a Starbucks! He couldn't get a paid internship with a major physics thinktank???

Some have mentioned a twist - please, you could see it coming 20 minutes earlier. A next-door neighbor who has seen what he thinks is his dead wife confronts the young genius and finds out that the machine is causing it, so of course later he steals it to bring her back and that's when the last 17 minutes finally awakens the movie from a coma to a semi-coma. And everything ends fine, and the family moves out only for us to see in the final scene the head of a doll in a box that the little girl had left behind for Alice, a spirit that she had befriended. Original, right? As original as a '?' at the end of a 1950s B sci-fi. No explanation given as to how that was possible because only the machine's amplified signal could give the spirits enough power to project themselves into the real world and the young genius had smashed it to pieces during the last 8 or so minutes of the movie.

Those who think this movie is really good have no experience with really good horror movies and I feel sorry for them because they must have been watching total dreck to think this was good.

Naturaleza muerta

It sucked cattle 'rocky mountain oysters'
I am so tired of these low budget 'horror' movies abusing the genre. I was particularly aggravated by the slow-walking-through-the-house scenes simply to add to the running time.

I am so p@ssed at this movie I'll boil it down for you - an animal activist is a psycho masquerading as a crusading professor against animal cruelty, mainly in slaughterhouses. So he kills people and feeds them to animals. The whole movie is a messed up garbled mixture of cow farts causing global warming to animals should have the same rights as us.


Walk Away

Almost a total waste of time (spoiler alert!)
First off, the ending is a total letdown. I thought they'd give us some understanding of why they couldn't get out but oh no, after there's only one person left alive suddenly her cell phone rings and she somehow determines this means she can escape so she walks out successfully and runs on down the road out of sight. The End. WTH??? No explanation whatsoever. Zilch. Nada. I still have no clue why the fridge would refill with the food that was removed from it.

Second, and this is a doozy, somehow the utilities remain on for months and months without ANYONE checking in on them. Someone rented the cabin to them so why didn't they check on them when the rental period was up? And you know that the loved ones and friends of these people who knew where they were going would have already the police, but literally no one comes by.

The stupidity of the final survivor was impressive - she'd gotten into a fight with a woman who is apparently going crazy and has killed a guy, so she rigs a board with sharp objects and places it where people are materialized to when they attempt to leave the area, then goes out of the cabin and is chased by the nutball. After they resolve their differences the survivor somehow doesn't warn the nutball of the danger if she strays out of the area, so the next morning that's exactly what happens before she can stop her.

I will say this - I watched the whole thing because the premise was interesting and I wanted the mystery to be solved but the execution left a lot to be desired, there were too many plot holes and the bungled ending has me wishing I had never seen this movie.

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