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Reviews5
rnorrid's rating
While I wasn't expecting to be surprised by anything in this movie due to so much being shown in the trailer, the bulk of the movie was a hyper-stylized echo of so many movies in the past. It isn't an homage when action sequences are beat for beat ripped from more interesting, and original, Jackie Chan efforts and the production design consists of a neon colored and mythological Japanese backdrop vomited from most of the "too cool for school" (I'm trying to bring that phrase back) action crap from the early 2Ks. I would like to say the dialog is close to being plagiarism, too, but that argument is dulled by the fact that those lines are what are given out as complementary phrase packages at most stock screenplay content providers to incentivise you to purchase a monthly subscription, thanks again Adobe (not a real thing).
The movie has a few interesting characters and talented actors playing them (Lemon and Tangerine really grew on me), but the choices made by the director to keep only the "wink wink nudge nudge" takes was exhausting and got old, at least for me, before the halfway point of the film. It could also be a problem that with so many converging side characters, none were able to be attached to my emotional strings to where I cared what was going on, rooted for some, and rallied against others.
As for a specific character misstep, it is difficult to understate how awkward a fit Michael Shannon was here; an actor who I have a great respect for regarding his ability to make a fictional character feel real in the world he inhabits. Here he was, like most of the characters, a recycled cardboard caricature of his archetype. I want Bill (Kill Bill) to philosophize about what Superman really represented in the frame of social commentary and what it meant to Bill's ambitions. I want Thanos to elucidate his reasoning to the point where the logic of his means might debatable justify his ends and people in the real world are triggered to discuss it, if only as an unserious devil's advocate.
I understand that this movie may be understood by most as simply a fun and diverting action film that doesn't require the audience to deeply engage with any of it. Don't get me completely wrong, I laughed a couple times, had a smile on my face often, and was genuinely surprised in one particular event (train skylights be dangerous, bro). I even had a small sense of satisfaction when various scenes were shown to be interconnected. It just didn't do anything functionally new while wrapping that old hat in a shiny CG package and giving the result a title that Sony was able to buy the rights to.
With it's overuse of digital effects, slick and hollow characters and dialog, and a plot that's as forgettable as the Japan they imagineered, Bullet Train came off less like an expression of skill and vision and more like the toys in the current boxes of Cracker Jack's, disposable.
One last thing that bugs me, this movie spends 20 straight seconds following a Fiji Water bottle around as it moves through previously seen scenes. It's not just rolling about willy-nilly (bringing this back, too), blurry from the speed and agitation of its movement, it is actually framed in the bottom center of the entire screen (taking up half of the screen's height and a quarter of the width) and pausing from intermittently rotating to show the full logo several times for several seconds each time. This is more intrusive to the fourth wall than the FedEx infomercial that was Cast Away. I mean no subtlety at all. I sure am thirsty for the ancient and natural artesian life's nutrient that is Fijian spring water, though!
All that being said, if you have never watched an action film made in the last two decades, this movie would likely be enjoyable to you. If anything, it could serve as cliff notes for techniques used in more capable shows. Enjoy!
This review was brought to you by Adobe Screenplay Stock. "We write it so you don't have to!"
The movie has a few interesting characters and talented actors playing them (Lemon and Tangerine really grew on me), but the choices made by the director to keep only the "wink wink nudge nudge" takes was exhausting and got old, at least for me, before the halfway point of the film. It could also be a problem that with so many converging side characters, none were able to be attached to my emotional strings to where I cared what was going on, rooted for some, and rallied against others.
As for a specific character misstep, it is difficult to understate how awkward a fit Michael Shannon was here; an actor who I have a great respect for regarding his ability to make a fictional character feel real in the world he inhabits. Here he was, like most of the characters, a recycled cardboard caricature of his archetype. I want Bill (Kill Bill) to philosophize about what Superman really represented in the frame of social commentary and what it meant to Bill's ambitions. I want Thanos to elucidate his reasoning to the point where the logic of his means might debatable justify his ends and people in the real world are triggered to discuss it, if only as an unserious devil's advocate.
I understand that this movie may be understood by most as simply a fun and diverting action film that doesn't require the audience to deeply engage with any of it. Don't get me completely wrong, I laughed a couple times, had a smile on my face often, and was genuinely surprised in one particular event (train skylights be dangerous, bro). I even had a small sense of satisfaction when various scenes were shown to be interconnected. It just didn't do anything functionally new while wrapping that old hat in a shiny CG package and giving the result a title that Sony was able to buy the rights to.
With it's overuse of digital effects, slick and hollow characters and dialog, and a plot that's as forgettable as the Japan they imagineered, Bullet Train came off less like an expression of skill and vision and more like the toys in the current boxes of Cracker Jack's, disposable.
One last thing that bugs me, this movie spends 20 straight seconds following a Fiji Water bottle around as it moves through previously seen scenes. It's not just rolling about willy-nilly (bringing this back, too), blurry from the speed and agitation of its movement, it is actually framed in the bottom center of the entire screen (taking up half of the screen's height and a quarter of the width) and pausing from intermittently rotating to show the full logo several times for several seconds each time. This is more intrusive to the fourth wall than the FedEx infomercial that was Cast Away. I mean no subtlety at all. I sure am thirsty for the ancient and natural artesian life's nutrient that is Fijian spring water, though!
All that being said, if you have never watched an action film made in the last two decades, this movie would likely be enjoyable to you. If anything, it could serve as cliff notes for techniques used in more capable shows. Enjoy!
This review was brought to you by Adobe Screenplay Stock. "We write it so you don't have to!"
I know that I have a ways to go before I mature into a more confident, self-aware, and empathetic human being, but this movie felt so emotionally manipulative that it shut me off completely from wanting to understand the characters' struggles in any way. One scene after another concluding with platitudes, actually listed numerically like the most generic "how to be happy" guide from this month's most highly trending guru. It also attempted to wrap the story in some of humanity's most nuanced and primal existential foundations but only in such a shallow way that it was the philosophical equivalent of trying to scratch a diamond with a stick of chalk.
It is a shame, to some extent, that the execution was so bad when there was potential for a much more compelling story to be told and in a way that didn't appeal solely to those that truly believe life's riddles can be solved simply by following a simple set of of one-sentence instructions. There were so many missed chances to lean into the brief symbolism without beating you over the head with over-trodden and simplistic explainations. Moreover, the way all of the side characters interacted, where everyone spoke perfect English (across four continents) and always ended up feeling emotionally attached to the lead character (because of his altruistic and completely original search for happiness?) felt not like a dude really moving through conflict to learn more about themselves, but more like the egocentric daydream of a person going through a midlife crisis.
It would have been a good idea to have more showing than telling, like most really interesting communication, really put the lead in serious psychological turmoil in the evaluation of his life, and utilize the preternatural abilities of Simon Pegg to diffuse the discomfort of pain and awkwardness with humor and then shed light on the impact of those things; not just send a guy around the world because he doesn't know happiness with an effervescently pleasant grin on his face (not a grin with pain behind the eyes, btw).
It did make me miss Christopher Plummer, so I really do appreciate that; no sarcasm.
Maybe one day humanity will be able to reduce the complexity of life's problems to the point where alleviation will only require checking off a box from an array of happiness requirements, but now is not that time, and so, there was not enough in HATSFH I could connect to. If you feel similarly, maybe skip this one.
It is a shame, to some extent, that the execution was so bad when there was potential for a much more compelling story to be told and in a way that didn't appeal solely to those that truly believe life's riddles can be solved simply by following a simple set of of one-sentence instructions. There were so many missed chances to lean into the brief symbolism without beating you over the head with over-trodden and simplistic explainations. Moreover, the way all of the side characters interacted, where everyone spoke perfect English (across four continents) and always ended up feeling emotionally attached to the lead character (because of his altruistic and completely original search for happiness?) felt not like a dude really moving through conflict to learn more about themselves, but more like the egocentric daydream of a person going through a midlife crisis.
It would have been a good idea to have more showing than telling, like most really interesting communication, really put the lead in serious psychological turmoil in the evaluation of his life, and utilize the preternatural abilities of Simon Pegg to diffuse the discomfort of pain and awkwardness with humor and then shed light on the impact of those things; not just send a guy around the world because he doesn't know happiness with an effervescently pleasant grin on his face (not a grin with pain behind the eyes, btw).
It did make me miss Christopher Plummer, so I really do appreciate that; no sarcasm.
Maybe one day humanity will be able to reduce the complexity of life's problems to the point where alleviation will only require checking off a box from an array of happiness requirements, but now is not that time, and so, there was not enough in HATSFH I could connect to. If you feel similarly, maybe skip this one.
If you've ever wanted to see what kind of comedy a film student who is really into, maybe a little too into, David Lynch would direct, this movie is for you. It would also greatly help if you were open to absurdist and surreal humor.
Funny thing about it is the components are really only comedic when put together. Turn the sound off and just watch the images, focus only on the ambient soundtrack, consider the details of the set design, or read the text of the dialogue and, individually, you have a loosely heist-style drama. Put it all together and throw in acting presented through poorly programmed robots (this works in the movie's favor, so not a complaint) and it becomes a trip to find the extreme edges of what you might laugh at. This is, in fact, one of the reasons why I can't rate AEWBLL higher. Lots of chuckle moments but so few laugh out loud moments.
Still, highly recommended if you enjoy the abstract and have a palette for unexpected, sometimes uncomfortable, representations of humor. Put it on and learn something about yourself.
Funny thing about it is the components are really only comedic when put together. Turn the sound off and just watch the images, focus only on the ambient soundtrack, consider the details of the set design, or read the text of the dialogue and, individually, you have a loosely heist-style drama. Put it all together and throw in acting presented through poorly programmed robots (this works in the movie's favor, so not a complaint) and it becomes a trip to find the extreme edges of what you might laugh at. This is, in fact, one of the reasons why I can't rate AEWBLL higher. Lots of chuckle moments but so few laugh out loud moments.
Still, highly recommended if you enjoy the abstract and have a palette for unexpected, sometimes uncomfortable, representations of humor. Put it on and learn something about yourself.