ajzeg

IMDb member since April 2017
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Reviews

The Lion King
(2019)

Ah. My arch-nemesis in the form of a movie. We meet at last.
This movie is a travesty. Don't watch it. I would just like to leave it at that, but I guess I'll elaborate. I guess first I will address the photo-realistic CGI elephant in the room, the animation. Not live-action, there's only one live-action shot in the entire movie. This is an animated film. And the animation is technically some of the most impressive ever put to screen. Seriously, this makes Life of Pi look like Madagascar by comparison. It was absolutely mesmerizing to watch...when the animals weren't talking. Whenever they were talking, it was awkward and laughably bad at times. What everyone has been saying is true, realistic animals cannot convey the emotions necessary for a story like this on their faces. In some scenes, I actually had trouble telling the characters apart or even understanding what was going on in the scene because of the lack of emotion on the characters' faces. That's a huge problem. I think Zazu got it the worst. Seriously, the animatronic birds in the Enchanted Tiki Room are more expressive than he is in this film! His face is frozen in a permanent frown, just like the real bird he's based on. The design does not fit the personality of the character at all. Same goes for most of the other characters. They were just off-putting. Speaking of the characters, how is the voice acting? While the film does feature a (mostly) talented cast, the dialogue in this movie is beyond awkward and the line delivery is just awful. I don't know how they possibly messed that up, but they found a way! It's very stilted and unnatural. The line delivery coupled with the characters' faces made me laugh out loud during Mufasa's death scene. Funniest thing I've seen in a movie all year. It's so bad, it's good! Look up the scene on YouTube, you'll be in for a laugh! As for the story, it's exactly the same as the original except they really nerfed the hyenas. They weren't funny and they weren't scary. They were boring. Eric André and Keegan-Michael Key are absolutely wasted in this movie. They also cut out the best song, Be Prepared, and cut most of Rafiki's interaction with Simba, the best scene! As for the comedy, it was just boring at best and absolutely obnoxious at worst. I'm not the biggest fan of Timon and Pumbaa, but I'll take the originals over these guys any day! Literally all of their jokes are self-referential. Sometimes the jokes don't even make sense unless you've seen the original, which you really should not do in a remake! As for the music, the score is just as amazing as the original but the songs are pretty bad, honestly. I already did a whole post about it months ago so I'll try not to repeat myself, but they are either butchered, cut, shoehorned in, copied or copy-pasted! The new Beyoncé song especially sticks out like a sore thumb. Many of the most memorable scenes from the original are dumbed-down and heavily simplified to make them more realistic, I guess, but it just goes to show how traditional animation is the only medium this film can work in. In the 1940s, Disney was experimenting with giving the characters in Bambi a more realistic look. They decided against it and made them more stylized because the characters were not expressive enough to convey the emotions of the story. They knew doing something like this was a bad idea in the 40s! This movie is a mistake! I think that's all I have to say about this movie. It's just bad. Nothing about it works as a film. Just look up the opening scene on YouTube. That will give you just as much enjoyment as you would get from watching the whole movie. But yet again, just like Aladdin, it seems like most people disagree with me and love this movie. It's actually now the highest-grossing animated film of all-time. I can't even get angry at this movie anymore. It just makes me sad. Is this what Disney has become? What was once the company that defined the industry with their creative new takes on classic stories is now just regurgitating their old movies for profit? That just depresses me, honestly. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Oh well. At least Mulan looks kind of cool. Anyway, that's all I have to say about this piece of crap. Don't bother, just watch the original. That's what I'm going to do, and I'm never going to think about this movie again.

Wizards
(2020)

Not the best, but still great!
Wizards is the third and final series in the Tales of Arcadia trilogy. If you don't know what that is, it is a collaboration between Netflix, DreamWorks Animation, and Guillermo Del Toro. The other two series were Trollhunters and 3Below. The first series follows Jim Lake Jr. and his friends, and enemies, as he becomes the first-ever human Trollhunter, destined to protect all trollkind from the evil trolls who seek to destroy them, and the world. The second series follows Krel and Aja, royal heirs to the throne of the planet Akiridian 5, and their guardian Varvados Vex as they flee to earth to escape a coup and get caught up with the characters and events of Trollhunters. The third series, Wizards, follows Douxie, the ancient yet somehow still teenage apprentice of Merlin, being sent back in time along with some of the main characters of the other series to medieval times, tasked with finding out how to preserve the past and save the future from Morgana and the evil sorcerers of the Arcane Order. All three series have really good animation and character designs, great voice acting from an all-star cast, and really investing stories and characters. You grow to love every single one of them. The dialogue is very 2010s, but aside from that I think it's one of the best things Netflix has to offer. They are kids shows, but they can be enjoyed by anyone, very similar to the How to Train Your Dragon movies. But that's the trilogy as a whole. How was Wizards specifically? If I'm being honest, it's my least favourite of the three. It's just too short. Trollhunters had 4 seasons (It was released as 3 but is actually 4.) and 3Below had a shorter but still healthy run of 2 seasons. Wizards is just 10 episodes and there won't be any more. Kind of, but I'll get to that later. This makes for a much faster-paced series than the others. Part of what makes the other series so great is the slice-of-life aspect. There's an overarching plot with fantasy, action, and lore, sure, but there's also lots of time to cool down and just let the characters interact and hang out. Trollhunters has Jim trying to balance his life as the Trollhunter, a high school student, and the caretaker of his overworked mother. There's lots of great character drama there. There's also his friend Toby's relationship with the giant troll Aaarrrgghh!!! (Yes, that's his actual name.), a love triangle with Jim, his crush Claire, and the school bully Steve, Steve's budding friendship with the school nerd Eli, and a TON more. It's not all fantasy stuff, it's also grounded in reality. 3Below also had a lot of character drama, there was Varvados' relationship with Toby's Nana, Aja's relationship with Steve, Toby and Krel making a movie, and more PLUS a bunch of continuing storylines from Trollhunters. Wizards, on the other hand, is all plot, all action, and all lore. It really suffers from the lack of slower, more character-driven episodes like the other 2 series had. You don't get any "filler", but it goes by way too quickly for you to really process what's going on sometimes. Having more episodes to slow down the pace really would've helped. I also don't think this series uses enough from 3Below. Krel shows up near the end but doesn't really get to do much and Aja gets, like, two mentions (You'd think her absence would affect Steve more.), but that's pretty much it. It feels like it mostly forgets about 3Below and focuses mostly on the Trollhunters characters. I'm also not impressed with who they chose to send back in time, which takes up the bulk of the series. They went with Jim, Claire, and Steve, which I feel was a mistake. Steve is really annoying and useless without Eli or Aja to ground him. They should've sent back Toby instead so the original trio could be back together again. Toby's one of the best characters and he's really underused in this series, along with Krel. Okay, so with all that complaining you might think I hate this series. Nah, it was great! You can't really think of it as its own series like 3Below mostly was, it's more like another season of Trollhunters. It expands on the backstory and the lore of the series and continues the story in a lot of interesting ways. I liked seeing the creation of the Trollhunter amulet, the Battle of Killahead Bridge, Aaarrrgghh!! when he was still working for the evil troll Gunmar, Claire's continuing relationship with Jim now that he's part troll and lost the amulet, and so much more. It also turns Morgana, who I thought was a kind of boring antagonist in Trollhunters, into a really compelling and sympathetic character. Again, all this stuff goes by really quickly, but it's still really interesting. Douxie was also a really interesting protagonist, I love how these series take minor characters and make them really important later on. There is also some really interesting sound design in this series. I don't normally pick up on stuff like that, but it really stood out here. Overall, while it definitely could've been a lot better with more episodes and a slower pace, Wizards was a well-done semi-prequel to Trollhunters and setup to the finale of the Tales of Arcadia trilogy. That's right, it may be the third show in the trilogy, but it's not the end! There's going to be a movie in 2021 to wrap everything up, and I'll be back right here to review it! Overall, I highly recommend Tales of Arcadia to any fan of animated series like Avatar: The Last Airbender or Steven Universe, DreamWorks movies like Kung Fu Panda or the aforementioned How to Train Your Dragon, or Guillermo Del Toro films like Pan's Labyrinth or the Hellboy movies. I think you'll get a kick out of it, and there's no better time to catch up! Stay tuned!

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
(2008)

Star Wars doesn't get much better than this!
In 2008, the seventh and, as far as we knew at the time, final theatrical Star Wars release came out, an animated movie called Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The film wasn't very good. It technically wasn't even a movie, but rather 4 episodes from an upcoming TV series of the same name stitched together to act as the show's pilot. It was not as good as the other movies, and I knew it at the time, but I didn't care. It was so awesome to see a brand-new Star Wars movie up on the big screen. I was too young to see any of the prequel movies in theatres, so this was a treat! However, when it came time for the TV show, my enthusiasm for The Clone Wars waned significantly. The animation was janky, it didn't have the cast from the movies reprising their roles, and it was based on my least favourite Star Wars movies. I watched it, but I didn't really like it. That was, until around season 3 or 4. That's when the show got good. The animation and storytelling greatly improved and I really got into it. I'd watch it every day after school, it was a big deal at the time to have some brand-new Star Wars content every single week! Nowadays, there's several shows with more on the way as well as five new movies with more on the way. New Star Wars just isn't as special anymore. That's not inherently a good or bad thing, it's just a fact. Anyway, I can remember watching the season 5 finale the day it came out and being totally impatient to see what would happen next in season 6! However, season 6 never came. Disney bought Star Wars in 2012, and along with it came the cancellation of Star Wars 1313, Detours, and The Clone Wars. The remaining episodes that were finished before cancellation were dropped on Netflix and the unfinished story reels that had completed voice acting were dropped on starwars.com, but there was never a proper conclusion. The Clone Wars was over. In the coming years, we got some books and comics based on episodes that were never produced, as well as some of the characters and storylines being picked up in the show Star Wars Rebels, but there were still countless stories left untold that would probably stay that way. Disney just didn't seem to be very interested in the prequel era. That was okay, I went back and rewatched the whole show and enjoyed it even more, but there was still a feeling of longing for what could have been. More Clone Wars content seemed unlikely, a fool's hope. However, at San Diego Comic Con 2018, they did the impossible. They announced that Star Wars: The Clone Wars would be revived for a seventh and final 12-episode season on Disney+ in 2019, finally giving the show the proper conclusion it deserves. This was amazing news and I couldn't have been more happy and excited! 2019 came and went with no Clone Wars to be seen. However, in February of 2020, the final season finally began! The first 4-episode story arc of the final season was The Bad Batch, about an elite team of defective clones joining clone Captain Rex and Anakin Skywalker on a mission to find the lost clone Echo, who has been presumed dead since his last appearance on the show. This arc is pretty good, full of action and fun characters, but there's only one problem. It was already released for several years now. The Bad Batch was one of the unfinished story reels that they dropped on starwars.com. There are some minor changes made to the episodes and it is great to see it fully animated, but I already knew what happens in it. That was a little disappointing, but I understand that I am probably in the minority and that this criticism may not apply to everyone. This arc also feels a bit out-of-place in the final season that there will ever be of this show, but there's a good reason for that that I'll get into later. Overall, not the best the show has ever done, but a solid reintroduction to the show. The second arc of the season is Ahsoka's Walkabout. This is the first time we've seen her in the show since season 5, but she was a fairly major character in Rebels so seeing her again didn't really have the impact it probably should've. However, not everyone has seen Rebels so, again, your experience may vary. This story is about Ahsoka, Anakin's former Padawan, falling in with the criminal underworld, joining two sisters on a spice running mission, and getting in trouble with the Pyke Syndicate, who you may recognize from Solo. Yep, they're from the cartoon! I don't think this arc is really as bad as most people make it out to be, the Star Wars community has a big problem with hyperbole. And women, but I'm not gonna go into that here. While I may not think this arc was that bad, it's probably one of the weakest in the entire series. It's way too long, it could've been cut down to 2 or 3 episodes. It didn't need to be 4. It's really slow and not that engaging, honestly. If it weren't for Ahsoka this arc would be entirely skippable, so it's a good thing she's in it! Again, this arc doesn't really feel like it should be in the final season, but that's because it, along with the Bad Batch arc, were never meant to be. These were unfinished episodes that they had lying around for years. They were just supposed to be regular episodes. That's why they feel out-of-place. I've heard a lot of people call these arcs filler, but I'd like to counter that by pointing out that The Clone Wars is an anthology show. Each story arc is self-contained. There can't really be filler in a show like that by design. I've also heard a lot of people suggesting other arcs for this season, like Cad Bane vs. Boba Fett or Son of Dathomir, but I'd also like to counter those by saying that, in case one, those characters have nothing to do with the final arc of the series so they really wouldn't fit and, in case two, we've already gotten those stories in other media. We already have The Bad Batch, I don't want 8 episodes that I've seen before! The first arc centres on Rex and the second arc centres on Ahsoka, both of which the finale centres on. These arcs were the best choices if they felt they needed some buildup to the final arc. Speaking of, let's talk about that final arc: The Siege of Mandalore. Where to start with this one? Well, remember way back when I said the Clone Wars movie was just 4 episodes just stitched together? Well, The Siege of Mandalore is a movie split up into 4 parts. You could stitch them together and they'd fit seamlessly. If I can count this as a movie, it is the best movie of the Disney Star Wars era, and this is coming from someone who likes them mostly, kinda! Let's start with the story. This arc tells the story of where Rex, Ahsoka, and Maul (Oh yeah, he comes back in the show.) were during the events of Revenge of the Sith. Ahsoka has a brief reunion with Anakin and Obi-Wan in the first episode, but from then on we're in Revenge of the Sith territory. We actually see some scenes and characters from Revenge of the Sith weaved in and out of the original storyline of The Siege of Mandalore. They fit perfectly, up to and including Order 66. This arc is AMAZING!!! It has the best drama, voice acting, animation, action, and music out of the entire show, let alone the entire Star Wars saga. I really don't want to spoil anything, so I'll just say that this was well worth the wait, both through the last 8 episodes and the last 8 years! It's so good, that it really makes me wonder why they even bothered with the last 8 episodes. They were fine, don't get me wrong, but we didn't need them. They could've just released this and I think people would've been just as, if not more, satisfied. I guess sometimes less is more. Overall, while this season is a mixed bag, it was all worth it for the final 4 episodes and the old nostalgic feeling of coming home and watching a new episode of The Clone Wars, just like the good old days! It's nice that the show finally came to a proper end after all these years. Do I recommend it? Well, if you're a Clone Wars fan, what are you doing reading this? Go watch it!! If you've never seen the show before, I'd say watch at least Disney+'s list of the 20 essential episodes and then skip to the last 4 episodes. If you like that, jump around the series and watch more! There's lots of great arcs to choose from and you could watch them in no particular order. In my opinion, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is the single greatest piece of Star Wars media ever created. It really redeems some of the worst Star Wars movies in my eyes, but it's a really great show in its own right too, kind of like Batman: The Animated Series. If you like shows like that, you'll like this. It's a shame more people haven't seen it. Perhaps this season will encourage more people to check it out. That would be amazing. Oh yeah, and I'm looking forward to the Bad Batch spin-off series they just announced! It sounds awesome. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'd better wrap things up. This show is amazing and I'm so glad I got to see the end!

Muppets Now
(2020)

Muppets STOP
You know, I often hear about how Disney has been mistreating the Star Wars franchise ever since they bought it and I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes. Sure, with so much content coming out not ALL of it is going to be great, but at least there's new content coming out consistently! You REALLY want to talk about a franchise Disney bought and have been mistreating ever since? It's another property that started in the '70s and has made its mark on popular culture. That's right, I'm talking about The Muppets. Disney bought The Muppets in 2004, but really didn't do much with them except for a couple of TV specials, some YouTube videos, and special appearances on ABC shows like America's Funniest Home Videos and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They just kind of sat on them as far as major projects went. That was until 2011 with a theatrical film, simply titled The Muppets. I love this movie, I think it's great! It's both a tribute to the legacy of The Muppets and a new introduction to them for younger audiences who may be unfamiliar with them. This was my first major introduction and I was hooked! Next in 2014 was a sequel, Muppets Most Wanted. I thought this one was great too, but clearly I was in the minority because this movie did not do that well critically or financially. Next was a sitcom on ABC in 2015, also simply titled The Muppets. I didn't like this series as much as the recent movies, it was pretty derivative of other shows like The Office, but I still enjoyed its updated take on The Muppets that brought them back to their more adult-oriented roots. This series was not a hit, being cancelled after only one season. From what I heard, a lot of the criticism came from people complaining about the more suggestive jokes and storylines, but if you actually look at the history of The Muppets they've always had a more adult edge to their humour, much like the early seasons of The Simpsons or The Flintstones. The pilot to The Muppet Show was even called Sex and Violence! It was one of the things that differentiated The Muppets from their Sesame Street cousins, but it seems like most modern audiences look at The Muppets and automatically assume that they're just kids stuff. That's a very unfortunate mentality that I'll come back to later. The series also faced criticism for the storyline of Miss Piggy and Kermit breaking up, but their relationship as always been on-and-off. Again, there seemed to be a lack of understanding of the original Muppets. That's not really relevant, I just thought I should bring it up because when else can I? Anyway, ever since that series was cancelled, there's been radio silence. No new Muppets content for 5 years, except for some commercials or YouTube videos here and there, as well as a reboot of Muppet Babies. Not exactly the kind of Muppet content I was looking for. The announcement of Disney+ came with news of an ambitious-sounding new Muppets series, a sequel series to The Muppets Take Manhattan with involvement from people like Josh Gad. It had potential, but this project would never see the light of day. What we got instead was this series, Muppets Now. I freaking hated this show and here's why! First, let's start with the marketing. All over the place, this show was marketed as being "unscripted". After actually watching the show, what the HELL kind of "unscripted" series is this??? It's made to look like it's unscripted, but it's so obviously meticulously rehearsed and planned-out, which is understandable. Puppetry is seriously hard work and requires a lot of working parts to pull off, not easy to improvise. WHY, then, would they market this as being unscripted when clearly it isn't?? It's false advertising right off the bat! Second, I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room. Steve Whitmire, who had been performing the role of Kermit the Frog ever since Jim Henson's passing, had a really stupid falling-out with the Henson family recently and was replaced by fellow Muppet performer Matt Vogel. Vogel also recently took over the roles of Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street full-time after the passing of Carol Spinney. The thing is though, he had been studying under Spinney for years to prepare for those roles, making for a much smoother passing of the torch between performers. The Muppets aren't just voices. They're extensions of the performers themselves. There's a sacred bond between puppet and performer, a bond that was broken when Whitmire was kicked out. Vogel was kind of thrown into the role of Kermit and he just doesn't sound or feel right. It's hardly his fault, he's clearly doing his best, but it's still distracting. It's going to take a long time to get used to. Kermit isn't really in this show much though so it's not THAT bad. The next issue I have with this show is the format. This show returns to the sketch format of the original Muppet Show or Muppets Tonight, if anyone remembers that. Get those on Disney+, by the way! And on DVD! Ahem, however, there are only 6 recurring segments that appear in every episode along with the decent framing device of Scooter uploading the video files on his computer. A good chunk of this show takes place on video calls, but before you get too excited they're not being current. This show was produced last year. They did the same thing in some of their YouTube videos back in the day. Put a pin in that, I'll come back to it later. The segments include a lifestyle vlog with Miss Piggy, a cooking show with The Swedish Chef, a game show with Pepe, a science demonstration with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, a Muppet interview and demonstration with Walter, and a celebrity interview. I'm gonna go through these segments from worst to best. The worst one is the cooking show. Sure, The Swedish Chef is always funny, and these segments would be funny too if they didn't have a damn turkey Muppet explaining every joke and focusing way too much on some celebrity chef that they bring on in every episode! What the heck, I come for The Swedish Chef only to find him sidelined! It's not funny, it just feels like some cooking tutorial on YouTube! Again, I'll come back to that. The science demonstration segment is also pretty terrible. Beaker is always funny, but again, it's not funny. It doesn't feel like it wants to make you laugh. It feels like it wants to teach you about science with some humour sprinkled in like Bill Nye the Science Guy or a BuzzFeed video. Noticing a bit of a theme here? Also, there's some really horrifying food waste in these segments that I was NOT here for. The next one up is the game show. Hey, remember the Nostalgia Critic's online game show, Pop Quiz Hot Shot? This is that but with The Muppets. It's cheap and poorly-done. I get that that's supposed to be the joke, but again, it's not funny. The next one is the segments with Walter learning a skill from another Muppet. These can also feel like a tutorial at times, but it takes itself less seriously and allows for more comedy. Too bad there's only two of these in the whole season! The next one up is the celebrity interviews. They heavily promoted these when marketing the show, but false advertising strikes again! There are only three of these segments! One with Kermit and RuPaul, one with Miss Piggy and Aubrey Plaza, and one with Fozzie Bear and Seth Rogen. These segments feel much more relaxed and spontaneous than the other segments, maybe this is what the advertising was talking about when referring to the show as "unscripted". They're still not that funny, but they do seem a lot more genuine than the other segments. The last and best segment in this show is Miss Piggy's lifestyle vlog. These are actually genuinely quite funny, Piggy is always an entertaining character and she has great chemistry with Uncle Deadly's deadpan and sinister mannerisms. This is definitely their attempt at being trendy, making fun of a genre of YouTube video and also the video chats come back in this, but I think it's an update that works and makes sense. These segments are pretty funny. Now, after all that, you probably noticed that most of these either A: recreate a genre of YouTube video, B: try to be educational, or C: both. It's like when coming up with the idea for this show, they just thought up what kids would like and what would be good for them. This whole series seems aimed less at adults and more at children. Young children, which has never been who The Muppets were only meant for! There is very little for an adult to enjoy in this series, classic Muppets like Statler and Waldorf barely even show up in this! I don't even know if kids would be that into it, why would they want to watch The Muppets do YouTube-style videos when they could just watch actual YouTube, especially if The Muppets have an entire back catalogue of MUCH better original content ON YouTube! This series just seems so cheap, soulless, and slapped-together. They couldn't even be bothered to make more than 6 episodes, but with how repetitive this show is I'm glad it's short! Overall, while Muppets Now is sporadically entertaining, it's a slog to get through and I do not recommend it. I'm glad to say I'm not in the minority, most audiences are not enjoying this show. Honestly, I can see this one getting cancelled after one season again, which is good because this show sucks, but bad because it sends a message that audiences don't like The Muppets. Well, we do. We just don't like BAD Muppets content like this. Come on, Disney. You can do better than this.

Ani Mulalu? The Crazy World
(2014)

THIS IS DA BEST OF DA BEST MOVIE!!!!!!!
Ahem, allow me to explain. Wakaliwood is an independent film studio in Uganda that makes micro-budget crazy, over-the-top, hilarious action movies. Only two of their movies have made it to the rest of the world so far, Who Killed Captain Alex? and Bad Black, and they are AMAZING!!!!! They have tons of heart and humour that comes all together thanks to Video Joker (VJ) Emmie (In case you don't know what that is, these movies have their own humourous commentary tracks built-in. Think RiffTrax or MST3K.) and just the passion and work that clearly goes into making these movies. They may not have the best equipment or all the skills, or even consistent electricity and clean water, but they still make ridiculously enjoyable movies that anyone can have a good time with! I love them to death and will buy every single release they come out with, even though they have them up for free on YouTube! I just want to support them, the Blu-Ray is actually amazing and you should all go buy it! Crazy World is a very special Wakaliwood movie. It actually premiered at TIFF last year, with VJ Emmie doing live commentary. It was the first time director Nabwana IGG had ever been in a movie theatre. I think it may have been the first Ugandan film to premiere at TIFF as well. It was a historical event! This year, Crazy World had its international premiere via the We Are One International Film Festival on YouTube for all the world to see. Unfortunately it was only up for a week, but you can pre-order the DVD or watch it on-demand if you missed out! This isn't even a movie I can really review, it's just as awesome and hilarious as their other movies, and I'm so happy that they're turning it into their own cinematic universe with recurring characters! I guess you can see how each movie is technically a little bit better than the last movie, but these aren't really the kinds of movies that are meant to be thought about or written about. They're meant to be seen and enjoyed, and I definitely did! I just want to bring more attention to these guys. I love what they do and you should all go watch them too! Go watch some SUPA UGANDAN ACTION MOVIEZ!!!!!!

Color Out of Space
(2019)

It's no Re-Animator.
This movie is an adaptation of the HP Lovecraft cosmic horror story of the same name. It premiered at TIFF last year but had a brief wide release this year. Lovecraft movies are very hit or miss. Aside from the films of Stuart Gordon, like Re-Animator and From Beyond, no one has really succeeded in making a really good one. His stuff is hard to adapt because a lot of it is short, not easy to adapt into a feature. Also, a lot of the imagery in his stories is intentionally impossible to visualize. That, and his stuff has tons of casual racism in it, even for the time it was written. Color Out of Space is one of the better Lovecraft adaptations out there. It updates the story to a modern setting and it adapts one of his least racist stories, like Stuart Gordon did with Re-Animator. However, unlike Re-Animator, I don't think this movie will be remembered as a classic. The acting isn't that great, with the exception of a good old crazy performance from Nicolas Cage. The effects are well-done, it's bloody and intense and of course it's very colourful, but overall there just isn't really much that's memorable or stand-out about it. It's a solid horror movie, but that's about it. I hear the director wants to do other Lovecraft adaptations like The Dunwich Horror and I think that's great. The movie actually kind of sets up a possible Lovecraft cinematic universe that could be worth exploring and I will gladly watch out for, but I still don't think this movie is the masterpiece that Lovecraft fans have been waiting for. While I don't think it's great and I don't think people will be watching this movie over and over again like Re-Animator, I think this is still worth checking out for horror and sci-fi fans, especially Lovecraft fans.

GTFO: Get the F&#% Out
(2015)

I understand what this documentary is saying. It makes some good points that I agree with. However...
On a technical level, this film is awful. The video and audio quality are absolutely horrendous. This is absolutely unacceptable for any film of any budget. So, why 4 stars then instead of 1 star? 2 for the actual content and another 2 for the editing, which I thought was decent. The animations were cute. If this movie were more well-presented I'd rate it higher, but I just can't look past the technical issues, I'm sorry. Avoid, you can find better videos on this topic on YouTube.

Onward
(2020)

PAINFULLY Average
When I first heard about this movie, I was really excited. It's the first movie in Pixar's new initiative to focus only on original films once again. That, and I like the idea behind the movie. What if a Lord of the Rings-esque fantasy world progressed into the modern era with technology? I know there was that Netflix movie Bright with the same idea, but that movie sucked. I expected that Pixar would do something a lot more interesting with the idea and tell a better story with it. However, and it pains me to say this, but this movie is not very good. It's not a terrible movie by any means, but by Pixar standards this is definitely on the bottom half of their filmography. First of all, the universe this movie takes place in it not very interesting. It's literally just a modern setting that just happens to be inhabited by fantasy creatures. There were some interesting ideas, like fantasy RPGs being based on history, but there weren't really any interesting design choices and it doesn't feel very well thought-out. I can't help but compare Onward to Zootopia, another animated film that takes place in an alternate universe, in which animals evolved and became civilized. In that movie, every detail of the world was fleshed out. There was real thought and attention to detail given to this world and how it would function with its different-sized inhabitants. There's nothing like that in Onward. The comedy did not work for me at all. I never laughed once. The writing and dialogue just isn't that great. Also, one of the main characters is a disembodied pair of legs. It was an interesting idea, but I don't feel like the character was expressive enough and I don't feel like he had enough of a connection with the other two main characters when he really should, he's their resurrected dead father. He's treated like a prop half the time. The story felt very repetitive and way too familiar. I feel like I've seen something like it in a million other movies. As for the animation, it's fine. It's appealing and colourful and energetic, but nothing about it stood out or felt like it was pushing the boundaries of technology. Personally, I thought Toy Story 4 looked a lot better. Even some of the Pixar SparkShorts on Disney+ look more impressive. Releasing the trailer for Pixar's next movie Soul before this movie was a big mistake. The animation in that looks a million times better and more interesting. The voice acting was also fine, but I have to say I'm getting pretty sick of Chris Pratt and Tom Holland. They're in everything! Give some other actors a try! Not every movie needs to have a Marvel actor in it! Give it a rest! Now, believe it or not, there actually is one thing that I really enjoyed about this movie and think is very well-done, the third act. Without giving anything away, all the creativity, emotion and heart that you would expect out of a Pixar movie can be found in the third act. It has a really great climax, some great character moments and a great message. If the whole movie were more like act three, I would have liked it a lot more than I did. However, I can't really give the movie any extra credit if it only starts getting really good at the end. As for my recommendation, well, if you're a Pixar fan you've probably already seen it. I actually highly recommend that you show it to your kids. I don't think the unoriginal story or worldbuilding issues would bother them and it does have a really good moral. There's a lot in it for kids to like. As for older audiences, if you're a fan of Tolkien or D&D you might get some enjoyment out of it. Otherwise, you could watch it if you're curious, it's on Disney+, but I say skip it and wait for Soul. It really doesn't appeal to adults in the same way that most of Pixar's other movies do. Man, what is up with Disney lately? It seems ever since Ralph Breaks the Internet, they haven't been able to make many good non-Marvel movies. All those remakes, Frozen II, The Rise of Skywalker and now Onward, among others, have not been up to Disney's usual quality. But who cares about quality when you have all the money? Damn shame.

Frozen II
(2019)

Wasn't as good as the first one.
Before I get to my thoughts on this sequel, let me briefly go over my thoughts on the first movie. My journey with Frozen is similar to many others. I saw it and enjoyed it in the theatre, I then hated it after all the hype and overexposure but I eventually came around to it again when I rewatched it last year. Do I think it has issues? For sure! Do I think it's overrated? Yeah, kinda! Do I not like it? Of course not! It has good songs, great animation, great characters, some good comedy and a nice story with a good message. It feels like a classic Disney movie from the 90s, I can see why it's so popular! As for my thoughts on the sequel, while I didn't have a terrible time watching it, it was not as good as the first movie when it had the potential to be so much better. I was hyped when I saw the trailers, it looked really epic, but unfortunately I don't think it really came together in the end. For starters, the story is WAY too complicated! It's super exposition-heavy and I actually had a hard time following it at times! I have no idea how kids are supposed to follow it! It throws a lot of lore and history and mystery and conspiracy at you and it was just too much. It's a fairy tale, not Avatar: The Last Airbender! It doesn't need to be this complicated! The story is also WAY too fast-paced! It reminded me of The Rise of Skywalker. Yes. It's that bad. It barely gives you any time to breathe and doesn't give the characters a lot of time to interact. Most of the time, the main characters from the last movie are separated on their own little adventures. The only two characters that actually stay together through the whole movie are Anna and Olaf! This movie also introduces some new characters that are barely in it, but they're set up like they're supposed to be major characters! I don't know why they would do that, it feels like a waste of time. Oh yeah, the movie's, like, 100 minutes long! I feel like some of it could've been cut down. Like Olaf. He's really annoying in this. I do have one more major issue with this movie and that's the ending. Without giving anything away, I thought it was awful. It makes little sense, it feels rushed, it kinda makes the whole movie pointless and it turns the movie into a borderline white saviour story. Wasn't a fan. You'll see what I mean if you see the movie. I also predicted the plot twist pertaining to the closest thing this movie has to a villain, but it is a kids movie so I think I can forgive that. It just seems a little odd that that was one of the only predictable parts while everything else was so convoluted. Overall, while there were a lot of things that I did enjoy, like the songs, the voice acting, some of the comedy and the breathtakingly gorgeous animation, the story is just such a mess that I really can't say this is a good movie. It's not a terrible movie by any means, despite how I make it sound, but it's certainly not very good. It's okay. The story of the first movie was so simple, with an overarching theme and message of familial love. This movie is too overly complicated and I couldn't tell you what the message or the theme even is. Is it about colonialism? Chosen Ones? Man vs. Nature? Familial love again? It has a lot of ideas but none of them are really fleshed out very well. I don't know what we as an audience are supposed to learn or what the characters learned. Like I said, the whole movie feels kinda pointless. I feel like this could've been an hour-long Disney+ special or something, not the sequel to the former highest-grossing animated film of all-time! Overall, if you're a die-hard Disney fan or your kids REALLY want to see it, give it a watch. It's on Disney+. Otherwise, just rewatch the first movie. Very disappointing.

Sonic Rebuilt
(2020)

Shrek Retold was better.
This is the long-awaited follow-up the the 2018 sleeper hit: Shrek Retold, my favourite movie of that year. I, like most others, assumed that 3GI would remake Shrek 2 next. However, it was announced that their next remake project would be the 1999 movie edit of the 1996 Sonic the Hedgehog OVA. If you don't know what an OVA is, it stands for Original Video Animation and they are the Japanese equivalent of direct-to-video movies, shorts and series. That seemed a little weird to me, definitely a more obscure choice, but I didn't think much of it. They'll find a way to make it wildly funny and entertaining. I tracked down a copy of the original before watching the remake for context. I really wish I didn't do that, but I'll get to that later. It's really cheesy and annoying and it makes no sense, but it has nice animation, some cool ideas, and some great corny moments. I was looking forward to seeing what Sonic Rebuilt would do to retell the story. I tuned into the premiere livestream and watched it, and man was I disappointed. Shrek Retold was a complete, ground-up remake of Shrek. It had new animation, audio and music, fully unique and stand-out from the original. Sonic Rebuilt has original animation...and that's it. No new audio and no new music except for the credits. It was a straight-up remake of the original, no differences at all except for all the different animation styles. It wasn't as funny and it wasn't as entertaining, but I can't say I had a bad time watching it. There's still some really creative and cool animation as well as some funny moments created by the animation alone, which is impressive. Also, it's a free movie on YouTube so it's not like I spent any money on it. Overall, while I do wish Sonic Rebuilt didn't rely so heavily on the original, it was still an enjoyable quick watch. I don't think I'll ever watch it again, but it's worth checking out at least once.

The Invisible Man
(2020)

They did it. Son of a gun, they actually did it. Universal finally made a GOOD remake of one of their classic monster movies!! (Celebration by Kool and the Gang plays)
Not only is it a good remake, I'd say it's the best Universal Monster movie since Creature from the Black Lagoon! This remake is very different from the original 1933 film as well as the HG Wells novella it was loosely based on so purists may still be unhappy with this movie, but I'm all for updates to the classics (that's pretty much what the original films were, they're almost nothing like the original books) so it didn't bother me at all. The Invisible Man updates the story in very clever ways that I won't spoil here and it gives a sci-fi horror twist to a relevant story about an abusive relationship. Nobody sees it happening and nobody believes the main character when she tells people about it. Huh. The lead performance from Elisabeth Moss (yes, I'm spelling her name correctly this time) is fantastic, and this movie is SCARY! The original 1933 film was very effects-heavy with a lot of comedy. In this, there is no comedy to be found and the effects are very minimal, but even if the movie is showing you nothing it makes you feel the presence of an evil figure lurking around using only framing, sound design and Elisabeth Moss' performance. There are tons of tense and creative sequences (very similar to the director's last film, Upgrade) and a ton of suspense. You never know when the titular character is going to show up next and it keeps you on the edge of your seat! I think the movie was a little too fast-paced, the buildup to what's really going on could've been slower and more effective, and the score can be loud and overbearing at times, but overall I thought this movie was excellent. This is a must-see for any horror fan or fan of the classics! I'm so happy this movie is a hit and we'll be getting more movies like it! I can't wait, this is going to be awesome. The Universal Monsters are back and I couldn't be more happy. The director of this wants to do a remake of Dracula and James Wan is producing a Frankenstein remake, among a ton of other projects in development. Yes. All the yes. Give them to me. I want them.

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn
(2020)

This movie is fine. You guys are just mean.
Now, I haven't done this since Batman v Superman, but I've been such a big fan of the recent DC movies that I actually went out of my way to see Birds of Prey in the first-run theatre, even though it's a sequel to Suicide Squad, which I hated. How was it? It was good! However, I didn't enjoy it as much as the other recent DC movies. It's not as campy or creative as Aquaman, it's not as funny or heartfelt as Shazam! and it's not as mature or gritty as Joker. It has all of those elements, but I didn't think they were as strong. I enjoyed it about as much as Wonder Woman. It's quite good, but I think it could've been better. I wasn't really into the story structure of the film. It was really weird, the first half of the movie or so is told in a nonlinear way with Harley Quinn narrating over everything. It jumped around a little too much for my liking. I also think the narration is overused, it got a little old after a while. There were also some weird editing choices, but it wasn't NEARLY as bad as Suicide Squad! There were also too many characters, it's both a Harley Quinn solo movie and a Birds of Prey origin story. I'm not really sure why they did that. Just Harley would've been enough to carry the film, the other characters weren't as interesting and the movie kinda drags whenever it focuses on them. If it were up to me, I would've retooled the story a bit to include Catwoman and Poison Ivy instead of the Birds of Prey and make it a Gotham City Sirens movie. Though, again, the ensemble cast of the movie is handled way better than Suicide Squad. Finally, this movie did not need to be an R. There's just some violence that could easily be toned down and some swearing that could easily be cut. It feels like a movie that would appeal most to teenagers, but (in the States at least) they can't see it. It's not like Joker, which really earned the R-rating with its subject matter. I don't feel like Birds of Prey really did. This movie would reach a wider audience if it were rated PG-13. Also, I don't like the title. It's too long and doesn't sound good or interesting to a casual audience member. However, with all that said, this movie is a lot of fun. It's very colourful and good-looking and it takes place in a very cool version of Gotham City. You actually get to see people being nice to each other on a beautiful sunny day, as well as the darkness and violence that you would expect from a Batman movie. This movie has some laughs, is well-acted and the action is well-done. When the real story actually gets going, it's engaging and entertaining. Harley Quinn is a great lead character and the movie has a good soundtrack. The villains are also very enjoyable! Oh yeah, and I LOVED the opening with the hand-drawn animation! Also, even though this is a sequel to Suicide Squad, it does stand on its own and no Jared Leto Joker is to be found! The Joker is in this movie, but they use the comic/animated series design. That was funny. I also think it's funny to imagine this movie as a sequel to Joker. Just a fun thought experiment. Overall, I do think the movie is holding itself back. I was expecting something more along the lines of Scott Pilgrim or Baby Driver, something with really creative and over-the-top action with great characters and comedy. However, I can't fault the movie for what it isn't and, for what it is, this is a good movie. I recommend giving it a watch, especially if you're a Harley Quinn fan.

Jojo Rabbit
(2019)

This movie is fantastic!
It's a really weird idea, it's a cutesy Wes Anderson/Calvin & Hobbes-style comedy about a little boy, his imaginary friend and his adventures growing up. It just so happens that that little boy is a Hitler Youth, his imaginary friend is Adolf Hitler and he's growing up in Nazi Germany during WWII. This movie is very funny. It has a ton of comedy both light and very dark! Don't be fooled, though. This is less The Producers or Look Who's Back and more Life is Beautiful. There are some seriously heavy and tragic parts in this movie that I don't dare spoil here. While it is a commentary about how childish the whole idea of Naziism is, it is also about the horrors of indoctrination and intolerance and the damages they can inflict. Great performances, beautiful costumes and cinematography and with a brilliant script, this is a must-see! One of my favourites of 2019!

Battle Star Wars
(2020)

No, not Star Wars. No, not Battlestar Galactica either.
This is Battle Star Wars, a mockbuster of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. What's a mockbuster? Well, sometimes when a big-budget, highly-anticipated movie is coming out, small studios will quickly and cheaply pump out their own ripoffs for a quick buck, hoping to trick people into buying them because of the similar titles and cover art. They are NOT parodies. They're just ripoffs. The most infamous studio that does this is The Asylum, who have made such masterpieces as Transmorphers, Atlantic Rim, Avengers Grimm and many, MANY more. I highly recommend looking up their filmography. It's pretty funny. They also make their own original giant monster movies, sleazy sex comedies, B-horror movies and Christian movies. Hmm. One of these things is not like the others. Anyway, normally I wouldn't bother with these damn mockbusters. I tried to watch Transmorphers once and was bored to tears. However, I'm a big Star Wars fan so I thought it might be fun to check this movie out. There are no new Star Wars movies coming out until 2022. Gotta fill the void somehow. I don't really know what I was expecting, but it's really bad. The effects are really bad, the cinematography has all the personality of a soap opera, the score is generic, the story is derivative and it's just boring. Everything is basically Star Wars but changed slightly. Instead of Jedi, you have Paladins. Instead of the Galactic Empire, you got the Coalition of Planets. Instead of the rebels, you get....still the rebels. They didn't even change the name! The movie even has expository text at the beginning! They even straight-up used some Aurebesh letters from Star Wars in the movie! It's very shameless. You know how Star Wars is fun and action-packed and is always taking you to new locations and moving the story along with great characters? Well, 99% of the scenes in this movie take place in the interior of ships. The other 1% is shot in some desert. And I swear, they used the same sets for every ship but only changed the colour of the lighting! That kind of thing might be acceptable for a stage play, but not a movie! And the characters are dull! And the action is boring! And the story is hard to follow because it hardly shows you ANYTHING! They just tell you everything, but even then they don't explain things. One of the bad guys, who's supposed to be Darth Vader or something, has Force powers out of nowhere, which was NOT established at all unless I missed something! And the costumes are bad! Half of the characters are just wearing regular clothes, and the ones who are wearing something Star Wars-y look like they're wearing Halloween costumes! My favourite was this one character that's supposed to be a Wookiee or something but it's just a tall guy with a beard! My second favourite were all the robots who all just looked like regular humans. Even the worst sci-fi B-movies from the 50s and 60s usually remembered to make their aliens look like aliens and their robots look like robots! There's only one actually properly costumed alien in this movie that shows up near the end out of nowhere! There are also technical issues everywhere. Some sound effects are just missing, there's some bad editing and half the actors can't even pronounce the name of the main character, who's supposed to be Poe Dameron or something, correctly! Speaking of the actors, they're clearly trying their best but the direction and the script are so bad they just don't have anything to work with. Overall, this movie could've worked if it were a fraction of the runtime and a Star Wars fan film on YouTube or something, but even some of those are better than this. Maybe the script could've been turned into one of those crappy self-published sci-fi novels on Amazon. It still wouldn't be good, but at least we might get a Jenny Nicholson video out of it! It would be better this! Anything is better than this! Don't watch it! It's not so bad it's good! It's not enjoyable at all! It's just bad! Even The Phantom Menace is better than this! No, you know what, even The Star Wars Holiday Special is better than this! No, you know what, even Turkish Star Wars is better than this! Avoid it like the plague! Oh, one last thing, there's a setup for a sequel. Ughhhhhhhhhh.....

Disenchantment
(2018)

Much like Star Wars Resistance, I was very mixed on Disenchantment's first season.
It was really slow and awkward and clunky and not that funny, but when you go back to The Simpsons season 1 or even Futurama season 1, those shows didn't really hit their stride until later on. I assumed Disenchantment would follow the same pattern as Matt Groening's other shows. Again, like Star Wars Resistance, Disenchantment season 1 had a great season finale that got me really excited to see where it would go next. However, they resolve everything that season 1 set up within the first couple episodes and go back to pretty much just standalone stories. This is one of the most frustrating shows to watch. You can see the potential, there are great characters, some good jokes and opportunities to have an overarching plot, but it doesn't take any of those opportunities. It feels like a network TV series, not a streaming series. Disenchantment season 2 is, unfortunately, still pretty slow and awkward and clunky and not that funny. Once again, it had a great season finale, but I'm not taking the bait this time. This show has let me down before. If you've never seen the show before, there are some positives. The animation is great, the voice acting is strong, the music is good, the characters are likeable and memorable and the show is really good at worldbuilding. It creates a very unique and cool fantasy universe. I just wish it was more funny and had an interesting story. I'd say don't bother watching it right now. Wait and see how it ends before starting, the fourth and final season is coming out in 2021. Maybe season 3 will turn things around? I doubt it, but I'll keep watching and see.

Star Wars: Resistance
(2018)

When this show first started, I wasn't that impressed.
It seemed really childish and the animation and writing weren't on-par with the other Star Wars animated series. However, I remember feeling the same way about Rebels and even The Clone Wars when those shows first started, so I defended it on the grounds that the show would likely mature with its audience and get darker and more dramatic as the series progressed. By the end of the first season, that seemed to be the direction the show was going in. One of the main characters joins the First Order and now our heroes are on the run. What's going to happen next?? Mostly a bunch of stupid standalone adventures that don't really progress the plot or develop the characters. Yeah, the second season felt really meandering compared to the first season, most of the episodes didn't even have the main conflict set up at the end of the first season in them. Then it shows up again, and then the show just kinda ends before it really even got a chance to begin. This show was a whole lot of nothing, ultimately. For a show titled Star Wars Resistance, it does not really give any larger context to the Resistance and the sequel era the way Rebels did for the Rebellion and the originals or The Clone Wars did for the Republic and the prequels. It feels weirdly separate, most of the show technically doesn't even have the Resistance in it. It feels more like LEGO Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures than Rebels. To be very honest, I believe this show was cancelled behind the scenes. I think the show was supposed to go on for longer, but was cancelled prematurely because it wasn't successful enough. I don't have any evidence to back that up, but it just feels that way to me. There are some strengths to the show, the voice acting is good, it's designed well, the main setting is very well-developed and the characters are likeable and memorable, but that's still not enough to make up for the lacklustre writing. Overall, if you really like Star Wars and are starved for new content, check it out. Otherwise, I'd say skip it unless you're under the age of 12, but even then I'd recommend Rebels and The Clone Wars over this show any day. Very disappointing.

Another Day of Life
(2018)

This movie was pretty great!
This movie is like two movies in one. Part of it is a documentary about the Angolan Civil War. The other part is an animated film about the same subject, following Polish journalist Ryszard Kapuscinski reporting on the war in the 1970s. The first thing that I need to talk about is the animation. It is animated in that rotoscoped cell-shaded CGI style similar to A Scanner Darkly or the Love, Death & Robots short Fish Night. Normally, I hate animation that is trying to look realistic, but I didn't mind it here. There are many sequences of animation in this movie that just couldn't possibly work as well in live-action. The colours are really nice and it is intense! It actually feels like you're in the middle of a war! The story I found very interesting and the intercut documentary footage of people who actually knew the main character in real life and are characters in the movie themselves was really cool and helped with my understanding of the story and the history behind the film. The acting was really good as well and I really cared about the characters. Overall, if you like animation or historical war movies, you should watch this movie. It's very short, but very good!

I See You
(2019)

I'm gonna be honest with you guys...
For the first half hour or so of this movie, I was not enjoying it at all. It was kinda boring and derivative (just a basic murder mystery/home invasion horror plot) and I was really close to just shutting it off. However, after that first 30 minutes or so, something happens that completely changes the whole movie that I don't dare spoil. It made me so glad that I stuck with it. I still feel like I've seen stuff like it before, there are elements of Don't Breathe, Summer of 84, The Perfection and even The Simpsons, but I still enjoyed it in the end. That's all I can say without spoiling anything. Check it out if you're a horror fan.

Little Monsters
(2019)

This is a very cute and funny Australian horror-comedy about a kindergarten class caught in a zombie apocalypse.
It's actually a Hulu original, but it showed up on Hoopla a little while ago so I could actually watch it. The main dad character starts out SUPER unlikeable, but he gets better as the film goes on. I'm a believer that a protagonist does not have to be likeable, relatable or a good role model. They must be understandable and interesting, and this movie checked all those boxes for me. Josh Gad is also in this movie. He's really annoying. He plays kind of a Pee Wee Herman-style kids entertainer, but he's really a big jerk. I feel like I've seen that before in other movies, Death to Smoochy comes to mind. The story is also a pretty basic zombie horror-comedy setup and execution, not that different from Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland. Nothing too original going on. However, the best part of this movie that makes it worth watching is Lupita Nyong'o as the kindergarten teacher and her class. They bring the laughs and they bring the heart! She is really excellent in the role, and she's a damn good singer too! The child acting I thought was quite good as well! As someone who is interested in becoming a teacher myself, I really got into this movie and enjoyed it a lot! I'd say it is worth a watch if you like horror-comedies or like working with kids. It's fun.

Togo
(2019)

Good boys. Good movie.
This is a good Disney+ original drama about the 1925 serum run to Nome, Alaska, the same subject as the 1995 animated cult classic, Balto, although Togo is much more accurate to the true story than that film was. This movie features some really solid performances, with Willem Dafoe being the standout, as is usually the case. If you like dogs, definitely watch this movie! It has cute dogs everywhere, and I think they are mostly real with minimal CGI. I'm always amazed at how expressive these animals can be and what they can be trained to do. The subject matter of the movie was very interesting, I feel like I learned something about history from watching it. It also features some really intense and thrilling action sequences that had me on the edge of my seat! I wasn't that into the structure of the film, it was told in a nonlinear way that kinda took me out of the experience sometimes. That, and I didn't think the cinematography or the editing were anything to write home about, but other than that this is a good movie that gives you a good old-fashioned triumphant feeling. It's worth a watch if you have Disney+.

Lady and the Tramp
(2019)

I did it! I watched all the live-action Disney remakes of 2019!
Well, except for that Maleficent sequel. I guess I'm not quite done yet. Darn. Anyway, Lady and the Tramp! Before watching the remake, I rewatched the original for the first time since I was a kid. I have to say, it might be one of my favourite Disney films! It's way better than I remember! For a movie about something so simple, it's pretty much just about dogs being dogs, they put in a lot of artistry, great writing and great voice acting! As for the remake, well, first of all, let me address the elephant in the room. You guys may have never heard of this remake. That's because they released it straight to Disney+. It never had a theatrical run. However, this movie does not have Disney Channel Original Movie-level production value like you might expect. It actually looks like something that could've been in theatres, I was impressed! It accurately captures the look of the original with a lot of colour and the CGI is decent. It's not as technically impressive as The Lion King, but I thought the animal characters in this were a lot more expressive than in that movie. It still looks weird sometimes and it can't hold a candle to the original animation, but it helps that dogs are just naturally very expressive animals. Also, they sometimes swap them out for real dogs. The voice acting I thought was quite good and the songs, though few there are, are good. They don't get butchered like in the other remakes, even though it suffers from the Lion King problem of sometime recycling the exact same recordings and cutting out one of the most memorable songs. However, with all that said, this movie sucks. It still suffers from the same problems as the other remakes, it's the exact same movie just in live-action. It adds some stuff here and there and it changes stuff here and there, but it's still beat-for-beat the exact same movie. Again, what is the point of watching this when the original is up on the exact same damn streaming service, right there, ready to watch? It's not like you get the experience of seeing the story and songs on the big screen, like with the other remakes. This movie was never in theatres! It has even less of a reason to exist! While the voice acting is good, the human acting just felt odd. They act modern and say modern things while in an early-20th century setting, but they also keep some of the original dialogue. It doesn't really mix well. Speaking of, this movie does try to make the story more "woke" and politically correct by diversifying the cast and taking out some of the more problematic and dated elements from the original, like the gender roles and racial stereotypes. While that's all well and good, they didn't update the setting. Lady and the Tramp is a timeless story. It could be set in any time period, but they chose to set it in the same time as the original but with a modern-day lens, which, again, feels weird. It's not like diversifying a fantasy setting, or even Dumbo, which took place in a circus. Lady and the Tramp was set in a very specific period in recent American history, a time period that wasn't so great for women, minorities and people of colour. I don't know, isn't it kind of more problematic to pretend that everything was good for everyone and everyone got along just fine? I know it's a Disney movie, looking at the past through rose-coloured glasses is kind of their thing, but it's 2020. I don't think sugarcoating history is really acceptable anymore. It definitely should've been set in modern-day. This movie also doesn't seem to understand the stylistic choices of the original. The original was shot from a dog's eye view, you rarely saw any human faces. It was also written from a dog's perspective and from their understanding of the world around them. There are WAY too many scenes with just humans in this movie, and the dogs understand humans just a little too well in this. It loses a lot of what made the original so unique and special. Overall, while not quite as bad as Aladdin or The Lion King, or even Beauty and the Beast (which I haven't seen but can guess that it sucks too), it's still a complete and utter waste of time. Don't bother with this one. Just watch the original, which is shorter and better.

Captain Marvel
(2019)

Another very popular and "controversial" film. And by controversial, what I mean is it made a bunch of nerdbros on the internet mad for some reason.
I don't know, some crap about Brie Larson hating white men or something, even though she literally has nothing to do with the writing or production of the movie? I don't get it. Anyway, how is it? It's fine! It's like every single other middle-of-the-road Marvel solo movie ever made. It takes no risks. It's safe, unchallenging popcorn entertainment. There are one or two things I thought this movie did really well, the de-ageing effects are fantastic, the '90s setting was fun and I kinda liked the Star Wars-ish vibe it had at times, but other than that this is just a serviceable, cookie-cutter, nothing-special-about-it superhero movie. How are the characters? They're fine. The story? It's fine. The action? It's fine. The effects? They're fine. The acting? It's fine. The music? It's fine. The comedy? It's fine. The connections with the other movies? They're fine. It's fine. It's not as good as Guardians of the Galaxy, but it's not as bad as Ant-Man and The Wasp. It's okay. There were some kinda bad moments, the writing and social commentary is extremely obvious and on-the-nose and there is an absolutely baffling music choice in one of the final battles that I feel is trying to be like an Edgar Wright movie or GotG but it just sticks out like a sore thumb, but that's about it as far as actual issues I have with it. There just isn't a lot about it that I think is especially good either. I know this movie means a lot to a lot of people and I think that's great. I don't really agree, Wonder Woman did it first and did it better, but I'm glad it did so well financially. Hopefully we'll get bigger and better movies like this out of it. If you haven't seen it already, check it out if you like Marvel movies, skip it if you're like me and you don't really care.

The Mandalorian
(2019)

Now THIS is Star Wars!
The Mandalorian is probably the first Star Wars thing since Return of the Jedi That has accurately captured the look and feel of the original trilogy. The Force Awakens felt like it but didn't really look like it, Rogue One looked like it but didn't really feel like it, The Mandalorian does both! The action is thrilling, the episodes tell fun pulpy adventure stories with memorable new characters (with The Child - Baby Yoda - usually stealing the show), and it expands the lore of Star Wars in interesting ways. Some episodes go for long stretches with no dialogue, all visuals, very similar to Samurai Jack, but the show also feels like a spaghetti western. It is about bounty hunters and indigenous cultures and lawless, wild planets, after all. The effects are almost on-par with the movies, the music is probably the most interesting and unique Star Wars score ever written outside of the 9 movies, and it leaves you wanting more! This is my new favourite show, my favourite Star Wars project since Disney bought the franchise and it is well worth getting Disney+ for! This is the way. I have spoken.

Kim Possible
(2019)

My quest to watch all the live-action Disney remakes for some reason continues.
This one's a little weird, it's not a theatrical film and it's not based on a classic Disney movie. It's based on the classic early 2000s Disney animated series of the same name. Now, I never watched Kim Possible growing up so I watched an episode before seeing the movie. I have to say, it's a great show! Good animation, solid action, pitch-perfect voice acting and great comedy! I'm definitely going to watch more of the series. The live-action movie on the other hand...well....it's not awful? Like, all the elements of a good movie are there. The original creators are back to write the story, it has solid directors (the same guys who did Freaks), the casting is spot-on and the attention to detail is pretty insane. It actually looks and feels like the cartoon, something that can't really be said for the theatrical Disney remakes. Colour? What's that? The only thing really holding back this movie is the budget and the movie overall feeling a little rushed, like it needed a few more rewrites. This movie is very cheap. The effects are unconvincing and the action is cheesy. It feels like something out of the DC Arrowverse. It tries to have stylized editing, but it's pulled off pretty sloppily, in my opinion. The story feels pretty basic and underwhelming, despite being an original story not lifted from the show, with not as many laugh-out-loud moments as the show. That's the thing, this movie feels like the show, but it's slightly off and doesn't have the same energy. I guess some things just work better as cartoons. I feel like if this movie had a bigger budget and a rewrite or two, it could've been a solid flick. Maybe even a cult classic, like Speed Racer or Scott Pilgrim, or even Scooby Doo, Spy Kids or Sky High. As it is now, it's meh. There is a setup for a sequel, so hopefully it gets made and is better. This movie is getting pretty panned by audiences online (Also, it has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes with 6 critic reviews. I just thought that was funny.) and I don't agree with that. It's bad, I guess, but it's not THAT bad. I'd watch this again over The Lion King or Aladdin, and it's certainly better than those live-action Fairly Oddparents movies. Remember those? If you grew up watching Kim Possible and are nostalgic for it, you might like this. If not, maybe just stick with the show and its two animated movies.

The Kid Who Would Be King
(2019)

This movie is cute and fun. You guys are just mean.
This is the long-awaited (for me) follow-up to Joe Cornish's directorial debut, the cult-classic sci-fi/horror British comedy, Attack the Block, which I really love and not enough people have seen. It was a big flop when it came out, but it's growing more and more of a following with time. Check it out, it has John Boyega, Nick Frost and Jodie Whittaker. It's good. Now, The Kid Who Would Be King isn't as subversive or original as Attack the Block. That movie was a social commentary about inner-city communities. The Kid Who Would Be King is a kids movie, inspired by the Arthurian legends. It's a damn good kids movie though, and probably the best King Arthur movie since Excalibur. It's about a kid who finds Excalibur and discovers that he is of a royal bloodline, destined to defeat Morgana once and for all. The child acting is excellent. It's like Stranger Things, there are so many talented young performers here that I hope go places! The story is fairly simple, but engaging and full of twists. This is going to sound kind of weird, but this movie, to me, feels like what the Star Wars sequel trilogy should've been, or at least what it seemed to be building up to until Rise of Skywalker came in and ruined everything. I can't really go into detail without giving things away, but you'll see what I mean if you see the movie. The lead character is very similar to Rey. The effects and action are solid too, and it's very funny! Overall, this is a super solid and fun movie that the whole family can enjoy. I'm super bummed that this was a box office flop too. Come on, Hollywood! Give this guy a Marvel movie or something! He's such a talented filmmaker! Give him a movie that will actually make money to get his name out! Anyway, it's good. Check it out.

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