nogodnomasters

IMDb member since July 2017
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    5,000+
    IMDb Member
    2 years, 5 months

Reviews

The Bygone
(2019)

Can't hide from who you are
PLOT SPOILER REVIEW.

Kip Summer (Graham Phillips) can't perform in cathouse because a woman is being abused in the next room. Kip helps. He eventually takes Laura /Waniya (Sydney Schafer) to his failing ranch. Her pimp (Shawn Hatosy) takes her back. Kip has to go save her again and in the end, they ride off into the cliche sunset.

You knew what was going to happen in the first two minutes. You had the good guys and bad guys figured out. The clues were too obvious. The film didn't do anything for me.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

In the Shadow of the Moon
(2019)

I have dead people waiting on me
Thomas Locke (Boyd Holbrook) is a cop playing detective in Philadelphia in 1988. There are strange killings happening with people being injected in the back of their neck and their brains bleeding out through their nose. Nine years, he is a detective and it is happening again, even though the suspect was killed.

Plot Spoiler: This is a time travel, kill Hitler's parents before he was born type of film. The events happen every nine years as the moon cycle allows for time travel.

This is a decent Netflix film. It was well done , but nothing to get excited over. Clearly it sees the far right as a danger to the planet.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

School of the Damned
(2019)

We don't like bullies
Following the tragic death of a teacher, Tony Middleton (James Groom) is hired as a teacher at the Henry West Grammar School. Er quickly learn there is a Kabal of students who exert mind control over others. Sarah is the ringleader as we discover the children are being drugged and trained as Alphas as Tony teaches "Brave New World."

Sarah just wasn't creepy enough for me, maybe it was the missing front teeth. The film seemed to drag. Characters were lame.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

The Dead Center
(2018)

I am the Mouth of Death
Michael Clark (Jeremy Childs) is a suicide victim in the first as we see him laying on a slab in the Metro General Hospital in Atlanta. He is very dead but not for long as he ambles out of his body bag into an empty bed in the hospital. I didn't notice what happened to the toe tag. Coroner Edward Graham conducts an investigation for the missing corpse while Dr. Daniel Forrester (Shane Carruth) quietly treats the un-admitted patient. A big no-no.

The two plots come together at the end of the feature as Michael Clark is the "Mouth of Death."

The film builds slow. There is not much of a scare factor, but I liked the direction and editing as a substitute for "A" listers I think Steve Buscemi or John Goodman would have made a more entertaining Michael Clark.

Guide: No F-words, sex, or nudity.

Portals
(2019)

It's calling us
Scientists create a black hole because they can and black monolith portals appear all over the planet. The "anthology" concentrates mostly on Adam (Neil Hopkins) who loses his family in a portal. There are two other segments. One involves a 911 call center which I found more interesting but it soon ends and a second story takes place in a parking lot. At times it felt like a Twilight Zone episode, except there is no closure. I didn't see the "eye" thing.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

American Dreamer
(2018)

Baby on Board
Cam (Jim Gaffigan) is a HAIL (Uber/Lyft) driver who has trouble making ends meet. He has alimony and child support payments and has run out of options. He has been driving around a drug dealer (Robbie Jones) for two hundred dollars a night. He gets the idea to kidnap the dealer's child and ransom him. It does not go well.

I liked the acting. The film had a few good scenes and too many scenes that went nowhere. The plot wasn't great.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

The Goldfinch
(2019)

He gave me the ring.
Theo Decker (Ansel Elgort /Oakes Fegley ) grabs the Goldfinch painting when a museum blows up, one where his mother dies. He is subsequently raised by Nicole Kidman, his father Luke Wilson and Jeffrey Wright, an antique dealer. The incident defines his life and the finite amount of boring flashbacks. Oh, and the red-haired girl.

The film was a boring drama done in an artsy style to avoid bad reviews like the Emperor's New Clothes.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Turbines
(2019)

Are you feeling okay?
Atilla (Igor Breakenback) and his wife Jana (Bianca Bradey) relocate to Australia under a government program. He must work on a wind farm as a path to citizenship. PLOT SPOILER: He goes crazy and kills people as he gets Wind Turbine Syndrome (WTS). What the film fails to say is the wind turbine syndrome is not a real thing. It is not an official classification. What is also omits is that the investigation in WTS was paid for by Waubra Foundation representing Australia's fossil fuel industry.

Guide: Sex. No nudity.

The Work Wife
(2018)

For better or worse
Sean Miller (Kevin Sizemore) changes jobs and works for a new ad agency. Oversexed Jen (Cerina Vincent ) is assigned as his assistant and immediately calls herself his "work wife." When Sean rebuffs her advances and desires to sabotage his wife and life, things escalate.

Lifetime style drama. All the women are eye candy. Horrible script.

Model Home
(2018)

Can your feet reach the pedals?
Because of the housing decline, upscale developments are not being sold. To sell them, the realtors are bringing in qualified people to squat there as long as they keep the home in showroom condition. Camila Torres (Monique Gabriela Curnen ) who is extremely bipolar lands a position and moves in with her young son (Luke Ganalon). Camila's condition digresses to where her judgment is impaired beyond knowing right from wrong.

The film starts by drawing you in. After that, the plot becomes borderline entertainment.

Acts of Desperation
(2018)

You can't save everyone
Alan Grillo (Jason Gedrick) is a detective with personal problems and anger management issues. He works for Chief Lassiter (Paul Sorvino) who sings opera and looks like he sleeps in his shirt. Alan suspects his wife Faith (Neraida Bega) is having an affair. He suspects everyone. Meanwhile, two fun potheads are having hotcakes. They espy a man (Treva Etienne as Glenn Klose) who is not Morgan Freeman in an odd disguise. He politely robs a savings bank and then helps a woman Morgan (Kira Reed Lorsch) who is perched to take a swan dive onto the freeway.

The film becomes darkly comical as relationships come together and apart. Entertaining.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity. Background strippers.

The Good Liar
(2019)

He Designs Kitchens
Roy (Ian McKellen) is a scam artist. We find out early he frequently lies and has his designs on cheating Betty (Helen Mirren) out of her life savings. We can also see that Betty is savvy and there are clues dropped early that she may not be the easy mark that Roy believes she will be. While we expect a twist, the reason is hidden from us.

This was a reasonable good flim-flam film. Helen Mirren always has her "A" game. I couldn't help but flashback to "The Other Side of Midnight" a film only remotely similar to this one. A film with poetic justice.

Guide: F-word. Brief stripper nudity.

Ford v Ferrari
(2019)

Shut Down the Assembly Line
The film opens introducing three characters. Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon) only America to win Le Mans is forced from racing because of his heart. He is selling cars. Ken Miles (Christian Bale ) is a savvy independent race car driver with an attitude and no sponsors. The IRS just took his garage. Lee Iococca (Jon Bernthal) is attempting to convince Henry Ford II that if Ford can win Le Mans, it will sell cars. The three of them come together to try to make it happen.

A well acted film with the right blend of drama, comedy, and action.

Mermaid Down
(2019)

First. We catch a mermaid.
The film opens with two drinking geezers talking about a plan. Step one. Catch a mermaid. Step two. Cut off her tail so she can't escape. Step 3 cut her in half and then sell them for a million dollars.

I was convinced this was going to be a film about two guys never finding a mermaid, getting into bar fights and then dying in the end in a storm when they think they found one. Like at sea snipe hunting. Instead in the first few minutes, they capture a mermaid (Alexandra Bokova) off the coast of California. She gets "rescued" by a man (Phillip Andre Botello) who runs a mental health clinic for women. He is not a nice person and his character was a mystery poorly executed. However, the rest of the film dives into new territory. I liked that in the film whose execution and cast needed an upgrade. In ways, it reminded me of "The Woman" where a feral woman is captured.

Guide: F-word. Nudity (Alexandra Bokova)

A Psycho's Path
(2019)

He'll be fine
In 1967, a psychotic killer irks the town of Brownsville, California. The bulk of the story centers around the police department.

I liked the retro rotary phones and how everyone smoked in the restaurant. Basically, it was nothing to see here film.

Guide :F-word. Nudity (Megan Katherine ?)

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
(2019)

How people make a magazine
This is more of a biopic of Esquire writer Tom Junod, fictionalized as Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys). Lloyd had issues with anger. His interview with Mr. Rogers (Tom Hanks) proved therapeutic. Having watched the documentary on Fred Rogers, I was not overly taken by Hank's performance. The film was interesting but not overpowering. In a year of weak nominations, it could win some awards.

The Zombie Apocalypse in Apartment 14F
(2017)

Get a job
Two guys get stuck in a coke dealer's apartment with 15 kilos during a zombie apocalypse. Isolated, they don't know what is going on in the outside world. Their only link is a drone spying on the call-girl (Jolene Hexx) who lives in the apartment below them.

Two guys talking in an apartment for over an hour. They do a bunch of coke and go to sleep.

Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Jolene Hexx)

Where'd You Go, Bernadette
(2019)

There's a penguin on the telly.
This is another heartwarming, boring Indie, gee look at me I am clever film. Bernadette Fox (Cate Blanchett) is a great architect who took 20 years off after she got married and had a child. She is introverted and nearly agoraphobic outside of her immediate family. Her daughter wants to travel to Antarctica for Christmas vacation. Bernadette calculates how many people will be on board. We get a flashback of her life and understand her a little more.

The "where" part is in part symbolic of her mind as to where her head is at. It is well-acted. Feel good. Put you to sleep film. Watch once and forget in two days.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Undercover Brother 2
(2019)

Go Funk Yourself
UB2 is done in "Dolemite" fashion. The plot is nonsensical. Brother and his brother are buried in an avalanche by "The Man." They are discovered still alive after 16 years. They are still looking for "The Man."

I liked the old music, platform shoes, fur coat, and Afrosheen. Our group fights for world civil rights.

Guide: No f-words. Near sex. No nudity.

Countdown
(2019)

The Bible is the Ultimate Graphic Novel
Quinn (Elizabeth Lail) a nurse, downloads an app that tells people when they die. She got it from a patient who died when the app told him. If you attempt to avoid your fate, a demon haunts and kills you. Matt (Jordan Calloway) and her sister (Talitha Eliana Bateman) are also on a similar countdown as they try to change their fate.

This was a film made fun by P.J. Byrne who plays a priest that is into demons and curses. I wish they could have worked more of him into the plot. Go flow. Decent plot.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Charlie's Angels
(2000)

I'm the decoy
This is both a sequel and a reboot. John Bosley (Patrick Stewart) is poorly Photoshopped in with past Angels as he retires. Elizabeth Banks, a former Angel (I think I missed that film) takes over his spot. Two Angels are Kristen Stewart a misfit and Ella Balinska former MI6.

Elena (Naomi Scott) works for a company that has created "Callisto" an Alexa on steroids. It has its own power supply of cyanide crystals and can emit deadly EMP rays on command and kill people. Elena tries to prevent the invention from going to market against the wishes of her company. She somehow contacts Bosley (Djimon Hounsou ) and explains the situation and becomes the target of an assassin.

The plot wasn't that great. It was more of a fun ride than a serious action film. Just kick back and try not to think too much and watch pretty girls in short skirts fight.

Guide: I missed the quick F-word. No sex or nudity. No Cameron Diaz riding a mechanical bull.

FPS: First Person Shooter
(2014)

Need a Key
The film is a video game. You watch someone kill zombies in a hospital as he attempts to rescue his wife Linda before the area is bombed with toxic gas. Similar to "Doom" as he obtains and upgrades weapons and clears levels. He even dies once and reloads the game. Less exciting than watching someone play "Doom." I know I have done that.

Guide: No sex or nudity. Finger on fast forward for much of the video. Didn't hear any swearing when I watched at regular speed,

Knives Out
(2019)

I just want to get some Scope.
Harlan Thrombury (Christopher Plummer ) has built an empire writing mystery novels. He is found dead in the morning of an apparent suicide by his nurse Marta (Ana de Armas) seemingly innocent and naive. Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) a private investigator of mystery writer quality has been hired anonymously to investigate the incident as someone suspects foul play. During the interview process, we discover the events of the night in flashbacks. Everyone lied and had a motive. About 30 minutes into the film we discover who killed Harlan.

The film has twists and clues as does any good mystery. Everyone was a quirky character. Harlan lived "on a Clue Board" and has written his family out of his will as they will not get a "single red dime." They need to grow on their own. If you love an entertaining old-style mystery you can't go wrong here.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Gothic Harvest
(2019)

Dolly for Dolly
Four girls in New Orleans for Madri Gras cross paths with the cursed Boudine family. The voodoo curse was a back story that didn't make much sense which causes the film to fail. The editing was not great. There was a lot of neck-snapping as a way of killing people. It is a cheap way to kill people, but not great for the camera. Bill Moseley's reading pick-up lines off a smartphone were the best and most original part of the film. The film would have been better if they tried at making the whole production a comedy-horror and not just one scene.

Dolly was simply a bad cliche character.

Guide: F-word. Near sex. no nudity.

Frozen II
(2019)

Fear is what can't be trusted.
PLOT SPOILERS: Elsa is the fifth element who becomes a park ranger. They explore their past and save the enchanted forest. What I will say is this is great animation for bugged-eyed girls. I loved the opening flashback as Disney captures what we love about young girls. Elsa can hit and hold the high notes unlike Will Smith in Aladdin. Elsa hears Sirens in her ears, something I do too and my doctor says it is tinnitus ad I should watch my sodium. I thought the place of all is lost and all is found would be a metaphor for the mind, but Disney isn't deep like that in a kid's cartoon. There is an early song about change that hints at death and did I hear this line correctly? "Peter Puppy just became fertilizer."

The girls will love it as the princess rides a magical horse and saves her kingdom. Anna gets engaged and Olaf gets pants.

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