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Reviews

Memory
(2022)

whenever guy...
Appears in a featurelength crimethriller, and on top of that acting as a wrought up washing cloth detective, hunting for one of the most murderous kill for hire - actor liam, its never a good sign, they are both having a binge fest like bruce willis picking low stratae mondane and generic scriptfests over a glass of cyanide, just to fullfold the wallet of premiere cash when hitchhiking towards retirement or the good old battlefield where its good to rest in peas later on...

a film with loads of stinking gangsters, shooting ,gagging and slithering , police and several kill for hires, load of kills for a bill, and a little bit of consciousness at the bottom of the heart, so a little hunter being hunted by the hunters, a film without heart nor sole, not even a criminal smile will you make outta this mediocre and ever so generic film, a film that should be called dementia because the caracters are so caracterless that youll forget them in situ. A script, a plot dried out on playlength, with a musical score as cheap and empty as my mousetraps every winter so nothing new here folks...

but if you like guy or liam then be my guest, the grumpy old man adored some of the handy tips on how to handle the crips into bloods without use of a gun, for the rest its just a test of staminosity.

Pahanhautoja
(2022)

a technically...
And visually a great finnish film production, with a story the french would say ''comon com ci com ca and vive la vie''because of its withindiraindirect moral and familydynamics, and where the real message sits far to deep for the grumpy old man to elaborate (and that includes the mysterious language they speak over there in suomi), but there is a story that needs to be delved into, i hope that all my neighbourhood crows, ravens and magpies behaves correctly, otherwise there be no seeds at the feeder next winter, and that you will enjoy this feature length stub of nordic horror as i did. Very nice special effects, and nice work from the lightning crew and the art and decor departments.castwise its good with some nice gymnastic trix of high value.

Not everyone would like this cause the fog of the story wont reel in everyone, but if youve started my recommend is to watch to the end. Its cute and its strange.

Everything Everywhere All at Once
(2022)

warping machines...
For sale and where to find them, could be the second headline and apart from being a psychedellic bad acid tripped parapsychological mandarin cantonese gem of multiversing at the near parsec speed, a speed that becomes sooo heavy for a grumpy old man like me that any kind of gratitude and admiration of a product like this sits quite far in,even though acclamation is given to main cast and the sabresharp timed editing, because such a multiview process to analyse and simplify that is necesarry due to lack of multitasking training that the digital gen's gets in with the mothers milk, a kinda milk my mum never had even though they had radiotubes for simplecalculating and encoding at the time of my birth.

So may i be excused for the slow processes of mind, i give it a 6 after the first view, its loads of lights and movements, also dark and time that spins fast as the tunell of light at the end of your lifes journey.so a spinned around recommend can be given.

L'événement
(2021)

a pretty close...
Up look into the desperation of a girl wishing to not to be pregnant, in a time era and religious rites and rules forbade and still in many countries forbids the pregnant female to abort and end the pregnancy without breaking the law... a french 1960's drama that use the closeup procedure method to show the desperate methods used to abort the fetus on your own, the primitive means, and the inhorrible risks that may follow such a medical procedure.

The grumpy old man do believe in the womans right to choose, maybe because im a medical nurse by proffesion...other wise a rather flawless film therefore a recdommend.

La familia perfecta
(2021)

a quirky spanish comedy...
About love and wornout relationships due to many years marriage, symptoms that the grumpy old man reckognize and have been and do still fight against, due to lots of reasos, but in sickness and health we shall endure to death or whatever they say in the wows on your wedding day, a day that the grumpy old man was so nervous that day my mind has completely cut away from my memorandum, but that was a blustery day yes, and my niece were babbling just behind us in the church irritatingly repeating ''no,no,no,no...'' so i ended up shakingly saying yes, at the same time wishing to flap the flabber outta thet nosy creature crawling behind my back...

its a at moments a honest and laughworthy comedy with loads of twists and shocking thrills, but also some plotholes here and there with a nonbalanced timeline, but the castensemble delivers from good to great, and if you like spanish neomodern comedy done in a linguistically beautiful way, without too much rattattatta-ta dialouges uzi style i give this a seven from my heart.

A bit long playtime but the opposites are fascinating, so go for it if you've got time.

Monstrous
(2022)

a beautiful...
Filmed silverscreen horror happening in the fifth layer of the process of grieving. Lovely acts of the forever young and dandy beautiful christina ricci, 20 and some forever, acting as the protective mum of her boy cody somewhere california in the 1950's

soundtrack is perfect, filmographically a fairitail adventour, the monstrous parts not so scary as could be, and with some very strange twists in the end. For some viewers the story may feel flat and the plot slow at some moments but the visual impression of the craftmanship of moviemaking did elevate that to me.

Its a film that may grow in the aftermath of your thoughts, as there are no doupt it could be processed loads of ways.

But i liked this one, not so darn original, but the parafranelia and gadgets of tghe time era has been used extremely well.so creep under the cloak of sinisterness of sorrow and why it became as it did.confusing , yes, but recommendable thinks the grumpy old man.

Firestarter
(2022)

its a ...
Remake of an 1980's flick over a stephen king novel, its not extraordinary in any ways, and do wonder why king didnt make a decent sequel instead of this one.

I do though love the original soundtrack and the barbeque killing methods used in a more special effects edition than the original flick.

Anting and product alltogether lands on a average 6, maybe to high but who cares thinks the grumpy old man.

Hvor kragerne vender
(2021)

a great...
Little danish survival story, about how to survive farmville, where the tractorhumping and cowshoveling is bloodborne, and where the rednecks good old traditional jantelov where the first commandment says''youre nothing'' along with 9 more, that has ruined the main caracters ghildhood and age coming. Moving to the city becomming a liberal freestyler, vegan and other open sexual relationships, long hair cut short, and dressing more he than she, make the thin red line when she returns to jutland for her brothers wedding.

Its a film with the clashes of the giants, and where the table is set and adjusted, merely revengefilled and at moments rather embarrasing. Allthough its a drama it has a mouthful of comedy, and a lot of serious elements that may feel reckognizabel to many, the grumpy old man have had it all, well acted, good cast, unique settings but couldve had some more gunpowder in the end. There are possibilities that a sequel will come, and that ill look forward to. A recommend from the haystack...

The Northman
(2022)

well...
Its definately filmed on iceland, even though the forested shoots in the very first parts may be a bit confusing for an agriculturalistic historian noah like me the grumpy old man. I do also miss the åre-trampling/race and a good old revenge battle called holmgang in the viking history, even though the volcanic scenery at the final battle is good enough. Having read snorre sturlasson in part old norwegian which is a tounge tortorous makeout, and most of the famous viking eposes and lots about the viking gods and their mythology and rites its a very nice product even though completely authentic noone can say.

The acts of our nordic friend are just superb, the rest of the cast with some small exceptions delivers above average.linguistically they shouldve chosen more clearly between pure english without accent, or a very norse like english just like the english the grumpy old man speaks(ive been reckoned as an norwich citizen by a bunch of geordies once upon a time)when having absorbed 3 keggs of mjød , had 12 cigs of peatmoss,dancing naked by the fire on a stary night upon the hills at the island i live, brave as a killerfish on a barbeque stake, not as tall as a viking warrior but with shoulders broad as midgardsormen, all hell would break loose if encountered for a fight... sorry for my digressiveness...wont happen again...

filmographicly and sceneric value stands out as quality craftmanship, make up or mud in the faceup and costumedepartment is like manna from heaven for every neo-viking and will heave in even more viking phantasts in the time to come.living next to the viking king haakon haakonsencastle/island of bukkøy, this man built the olavschurch at augvaldsnes over the shrine of king olav den hellige(the sacred), a site of pilgrimage in norwegian christianity for centuries.(i was married there...!).

There aint much negative to say even though i felt the rus part of the story where as barren as the dirt of iceland, and miklagard and konstantinopel shouldve been a part of the story. But that is just the thoughts of a grumpy old man. Its a freezing cold story of will to live and a whole lot of decieft, it deserves a solid eight and far better than most of mediocre norrøn tv-series made over the past 20 years.therefore a recommend.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
(2022)

howly moly...
Was this a gloomy dark, grey and unbearibly long and boring chapter of magical sinisterness from the alternative world of magic and trolldome ...if it hadnt been for the technical craftmanship of modern moviemaking this wouldve been a 2 on my scale of silverscreen reviewism.

A terrible choice of new castmembers, where laila and delaila never reach as high as number one or two in this serial, seems like the subject is worn out and fantasy has reached the bitter end...

so read the books and know the story before viewing this chapter, the grumpy old man forgot, and shall not read the book when a film like this can be made as boring as this. A 6 for the product, and bling for the story, and just a small recommend.

Donkeyhead
(2022)

in sikhness and health...
We shall all die, just as we where born, sikh or not, a canadian family drama, about the family guru walking his last steps towards eternity, mended and taken care for by the black fowl of the family through seven long years, and pushed and plagued in a heartful and felt comedy, when the rest of the scavanger siblings and family comes to share the leftovers when death comes about.

A well acted, good casted and solid filmproduct if you care or feels curious for love, life and the eternal death issues that rules a family when the result of a life shall be accounted for, and inheritance split splatt or spread like the ashes into the river rubicon.

An atmosphere that us old grumpy ones may feel familiar, even me , and may be a nice curricular movie for all them making their testament etc. Etc.. so a recommend on this one.

Najmro: Kocha, kradnie, szanuje
(2021)

the getaway king...
Or one armed jack, the polish ''gjest baardsen'' edition of the true crime world. Yes and gjest baardsen was the norwegian edition and together with ole hoiland the breakout kings in my countrys crime world, and they are both filmatized, in black and white unfortunately, but the films are fab's and highly recommended.

This polish glorification of a petty crime(measured in 2022 crime world) culprit has been made very well on the time stamp, its an action filled nonstop action made pretty hollywoodlic style, with split screens and ultra slow motion on the most critical parts, if you like old car models from the 80's this is a gold chest, theyve made a pretty good soundtrack, but the acting is merely what you expect outta a film this kind.

Its never boring, the comedy inbetween, and the use of irony towards the police force may make the poles polish the floor from laughter cramps, and gave me a smile here and there. So if you want some true crime stories from behind the iron curtain, or the warsawpact era, its a recommend, the grumpy old man knows that 2 mill zloty aint that lot of money, but its worth a watch.

The Lost City
(2022)

its very generic...
On expeditioning topic, a lets try it out comedy by two rater strong caracteractors of fun, flickwise channing falling out higher than sandra bjullokk. The rest of the cast including harry potter do not raise any alarms , seems like a job is a job to them.

Seems like the dynamics are good and some of the jokes hits home, but its far too average, and maybe slow to many.i you love, like my better half, miss bulljokk living kicks'n about, you wont be dissapointed, her adhd having total control over the playbook and director, words and demeanors is like the good old ones.

So praise the absence of digital treasure hunting, they barely use a cell phone in this flick, the high heels and bare breast do take you on a ride so therefore a tiny recommend to watch, if you have the chance use the ffwd button, that can raise the level of entertainment a lot.

Queen of Meth
(2021)

well, compared to the imdb rating...
Its far better than what it says...

if you like kingpins and druglord stories, made over the same plank as cocain cowboys or the like, you will say yum yum to ''queen of meth''. Its a iowainian story about the girl who went from primary school princess to queenpin methamfetaminedealer in the proud state of ''I Only Want metAmphetamin'', a story told by herself mostly but also siblings and other methusers of the days of glory.

Its actually entertainment when youre offered 150 minutes of good old bragging and lying fishermen telling stories about the lost catch, sitting on the barstool, drunk as a flatfish on rockall, a female ''alive and kickin' '' story that only could be verifyed by the feds and the doormat, but the story of living like a scrambled egg coming outta nothing and ending up as the crankshaft of meth dealing in the uppermidwest usa is indeed worth your time and energy, better than injecting or snorting meth anyway.

Many have given this a 1 star condemnment, i guess in opposition to this kinda meddling over the drug topic. Well i understand their feelings and can see why, and know a little bit about the way drugs may harm not only primarily but also pretty collateral secondarily, the culprit of this show could have appeared a bit more humble and guilty at many occations, but that aint entertainment that people stream voulentarily, so if you feel uneasy by watching this iowan girls story then dont watch...

for the rest of us lot, with or without illegal drugs in the backpack, its the a-4 kinda documentary of modern day filmaking, its just that long that you may binge over a rainy afternoon, and just what the grumpy old man needed, after tri-padwackling(paddeling-walking and cyckling)in coastal southwest norway in the morning sushine.

The Big Conn
(2022)

riveting...
Disturbing , frustrating and devastational proves of a federal system that doesnt work properly. I think its payback time for the culprits, but dont let that affect your own striving and trying to surviving citizens that became welfare pensioneers due to this justice fraud.give them the benefit of the doubt or at least a evaluation process on turbotime to make their rotten existence durable again.

Great documentary with alot of aha moments, even though the con mr conn couldve been purged even more.that may leave a thought on how much digging in the material that has been done.

Suicide for Beginners
(2022)

at moments...
A hilarious attempt of a film production making suicide on itself, but on the other side a rather messy, gory, production of a desperate suicidist that wants revenge on his former girlfriend via ''methods all sorts'', and especially in the intro of the story had some really good fast shifting and tic tac toe shoots on the methodology of the suicidal science, also used as a murderweapon in a worse case scenario...

a small cast movie, with eyes wide shoot gawping bulldogs gagging out their dialouges into a pretty laughable serindipitous story , at moments very good, in others really bad. There aint no lack of fantasy from the directors nor producers and the plot floats fine, it just lack that little spark called slapstick and other precarious happenings in the life of a young unhappy man, some wild kicks comming out of the blue is merely to be found ( unless some background distracting moments of high value) but if you like verbal comedy with some black loonitec comedy then go for it.

Its not a cookbook for anarchists story for future suicidalists,thinks the grumpy old man, but ill piv ot more to a 6 than a fiver, and wont indiscriminate the show at all cause its viewable by all means, not suitable for the young ones, even though there are some kid baits that may lure some yonksters into the beatless philosophy of suicide.

Uncharted
(2022)

a bit...
Slow and studiolike, little cheesee generic in its buildup and caracter dynamics, but with a finale that could be rewound many times just for the arcaic antigravitational moves that leads this film towards the end. So hold on to your seat, youll be blown over by its maggellanistic waves. Grumpy old mans recommend to this.

Marvelous and the Black Hole
(2021)

not impressed...
By any of the stuff made and presented in this coming of age story about a grumpy young girl opposing all and everything due to several reasons. What surprised me though was the ever so fresh and fruitful appearances made by our cheer(-s)ful rhea perlman, this time as a magicess, learning the ever so grumpy little teeny that there are plenty more between heaven and earth than we actually see. So if you like ms perlman, then enjoy the show.

The product lacks a lot on the screenplay, it feels overly directed, and the lack of budget seems like a bleeding wound, that means the lack of real good special effects that is needed to make or break in the moviemarket in 2022, really ruins its chances of making a blockbuster. Its also a small plot, that couldve been turned into something more than this, the family message are still there, but thats repeated in 100000 other snuffs made lately, so if made in the 80's it wouldve been a groundbreaker but not today thinks the grumpy old man.its too slow and generic and presents nothing new on the market.

All My Puny Sorrows
(2021)

a deaftyfying love story..
Within a family filled with enlightening sturdyness, but also the dark sides of mental health family history. This film gave me a new view on the heavy gravity of the term depression, and that it is actually, or may be or could become a deadly disease to someone...sometime...yes a deadly one, why havent any top shrinks defined it as it is...to somebody...a deadly disease ...where medication wont take away the darkness and sadness that engulfs individuals from time to time and eventually never sees the light again, cause its a deadly disease...to somebody.

They say things are running in the family, and suicide may also be a term that may infect a family tree. Its a well acted, heavily and deep written screenplay about death and life, love and loss because the a-train to heaven took of far too early. A film that will bore some and excavate deep gashes in someones hearts, a tear will drop in someones commemorations of a lost partner, child or friend.

So throw yourselves into the purgatory where its rather cold and dark, a very realistic set of silverscreen emotions that the grumpy old man recommend if you need to.

7 Days
(2021)

love is such a funny thing...
When youre actually lonely. Otherwise its a story about sickness and health, animalism vs vegetarianism, mums and mums, dating and matching on the web, alcohol and waterhole, sadness and very much the thought of dying in complete loneliness.

Its a cast of 2, throwing lies and spells at eachother, shes relaxed at her homeground, he's stressed and partly neurotic by the surroundings on her homeground. The cast is visual beauties, and the female wouldve made me sunk in the ground of sheer bliss(looks just like my better half when 20), they are good dialouging and seems to match from start.

The playlength of the film though is just far to long and the plotspeed dies a lot in the 2nd half. Its also to ocd'd on the covid topic, wouldve been a lot funnier if they had made a comedy out of breaking the covid rules, may that be a tip for another project.

All in all an indian related lovesearch story romcom, that tickles your vagus nerve in different ways depending , my grumpy better half would love this, the grumpy old man though prefers a lot more action and slapstick from comedies, so just a small recommend.

Ku bei
(2021)

a film without a ...
Purpose and lack of a story can only reach a 5 stars maxima from the grumpy old man. So when i give this madness a 4 it must be due to other causes than the plot and the acting...

its a very physical glory gory havelujha horror flick where you have to kill even if youll be killed anyway, spoken in a dialect that at least 5.5 billion earthlings dont understand, the dialouges are meaningless anyway, so it must be the stunts, the blood, and the special effect/ make up departments that hts the wardrums of prevail, and i may acclaim to that. To say its bloody is an understatement, the raw violence and decapitation and other kinds of quatering hasnt been seen since the late 70's, and wouldve overwhelmed even the worst of inquisitional boards of the medeval ages.

So its not a film for kids, its not a halfdorked covid movie for comedy seekers, and , well, its not actually zombies either, nor that its next to anything ive seen lately. They mustve got a outtadated kolli of human blod and plasma, cause the blood is some of the realest ive seen, and the sounds are just a chapter on its own. So if you know your tummy is fragile, and your mind is easy frailed then dont watch. If youre a horly gorly guy outta the narrow spectre called harrowing death fans then have fun, there are lots to devour that could make heavy imprints in adolescents, a bit too much even for the grumpy old man.

The Bad Guys
(2022)

actually one of...
The best animated crimecomedies made in the latter years thinks the grumpy old man, and yes its animals behind the masks, and the only thing that draws my ciphers to an 8 must be some save the budget cuts in the most expensive animation parts...

the voice cast is supreme,the animated caracters are extraordinay and colourful the timing and sound edits on the spot, the musical score fresh and amazing the comedy are at moments hilarious and for the rest of the time ts just smiling fun, so lets call them the bad guys 6. The humour by the way is not exactly for minors and toddlers, so 7+ is a good guideline of rating. Bet that im seeing this carnival once again, then with my grumpy better half by my side, you better not missout on this one.

La abuela
(2021)

who made who...
Made you too? A spanish questionmark hanging tingling upunder the ceiling or gushes out like a big bad breath of la abuelas evil mouth... i see something samesexual elements between the lines, otherwise its a typical european empirical styled slow and like chewing your last nicotinegum and you desperately wait for further stimulans, but its not coming...thats my wisdomeword of today and forever after over the movie laabuela.

It aint horror, rather a mockuped psychological story about a girl with a uproared childhodd, and a granny so dominant and dangerous leaving nothing more than scorched earth to stay the same beauty forever... its a film you could fabulate about forever, there aint no facit to it.

Small cast, loads of dark, merely a shock jolt to survive, the grumpy old man didnt enjoy this and that.

Preaching Evil: A Wife on the Run with Warren Jeffs
(2022)

an...
Extraordinary, systemized, very professional made documentary of modern time religion, where a god is included and a prophet speaks his words with a slithering tounge of a snake, hiding behind the apple on the family tree of the fdls of southern utah and texas.

Shocking at least, and full proven cases of brainwashing and medieval way of religious thoughts, its a wanda that such religiousity still exists, and how lost a sole can be to get involved in such ways , not only here, there are literally hundreds of communities like this out there, so im not surprised...

my rather grumpy old fashioned neutral faithallaty gets another thumb up, as well as the crews behind and the participants in the series. A documentary that must be seen to be believed.

Salesmen
(2022)

first and foremost...
Me, the grumpy old man, hates the use of black and white filmathography productions... why, cause the world actually is a world of colours, even for colourblind, noone out there sees just black and white, apart from some sinister one per billion syndromists that always ruins MY statistics, and apart from that its a film with good old joke, flimsy caracters and actually some hints of smiling ill admit.

Personally im not the verbal comedy buff, like better the physical pranks comedies, but its within reach even for me, the cast is very localiced gang of actors from the northeast u.s and the flag of independancy hangs up pretty high. So its not a film that promotes the carieere for doorstep salesmenscraftmanship, a real dying species these days,but they are far better than the witnesses and and other moronors that hangs by your door just when you dont want them, so give them a try i will recommend that.

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