Reviews (1,649)

  • Scifi production, made on the minds of norwegians, and especially dedicated to the inhibitors or habitors of world ufo reknown spot no.1 , HESSDALEN, trøndelag, norway. Yes the valley exists, the phenomenons are still there, just buckle up and cum....

    as a comedy for foreigners/aliens, which means anybody else except us norwegians will have problems absorbing the humour that rules this film. Its actually so inbred trøndersk( like geordies to the brit and aussie to a kiwi) with the dialects and all the kærsk (moonshine)and profanity that even i living in southwest norway had problems here and there to take onboard, so turn yourself into a dummy, because the cc's wont help, its darn homie humour...

    the plot though do have some inconsistence, and the playtime is a bit like the 50 K cross country skiing, but whatte hell, yes that is a city name in norway on the road to the værnes airport, they even have hell hotel there, try that, and it tastes good lell(too). Im surprised and still stunned by the green light, cause this is like beavis and butthead does hessdalen!!! A very norwegian recommend from the grumpy old man.
  • Caracter, by using a multitude of mad superheroes, and my question are; where do they all come from, and why did they use so many of them...?... when the doctor strange story in itself was such a good consept with small hints of superiority and magic, being smashed and destroyed into a supercabaret of more or less overused A4 sized copies of caracters used in the superhero genre...why???

    No, its a big dive back in the iron pot of superherostew, where the superpowers are so generalized and boring, and a strange story has become the same as everything else. For a grumpy old man with slower multitaskingabilities this was just like fighting a war in the fog, where mutiversejumping becomes so trivial that it becomes a muddy mess of boredome.. therefore my doom of plot and story will be harsh and demonizing.

    What saves a weak 6 on the overall starsetting has to be the extreme use and technicaladvanced level of cgi use in this production, that kept the grumpy old man away from becoming drowsy and sleepy, yes i am that old. The legendary mr cumberbacht had a hand in there too so if you like the man that noone comes near in roles of strange caracters a recommend, the rest is just a mamrvel production and a big let down to the average ageeing audience of silverscreen enthusiasts...
  • To this belgian constitutional problem caused by the royales', this was a kiss the frog like ,immensely uplifting story, about a child heaved around in the high waves of the silent world of adults, the girl who never knew that she had 50 % blue blood in her veins, due to a fling between her mum and the back then , crownprince of belgium.

    Its the story about the way to be reckognized as child of a king, using dna testing which is said to 99.998% for sure, being embraced in the end as princess of ???????, but only after a life suckening striving journey through the courtsystem of belgium.

    Its a story that many belgians hates and will for generations, but for us fair and square its the fullfilment of justice, and the grumpy old man wish ms delphine the best for the future, dont forget your legacy and past, cause youre shining like a beautiful star of beauty in your fifties and your art is some of the most compelling ive ever seen(and im not much of an art person at all).

    So let me end this appraisal to the producers, well done and well sewen together, a highly recommended documentary about the goldfish that where meant to be forgotten.
  • Toothclenching lovestory, stealing ideas from ''always'', ''ghost'' and the latest newcomer on the mixtapefront , namely ''mixtape'', even though it happens in the hawaiian surf, at a cool vl record shop, and use danny glover as a filantropic flypaper...it is not the same...also a musical score chosen to sound the love on the infamous mixtape may just interest 5 % of the audience and sounds no kind a reckognition in a grumpy old mans quite music filled memory.

    The plot says that the mixtape can reviwe the past, so if you have lost a loved one through the years, it might bite on you, i was just not bitten by this ''no no no'' search and research cryoutloud lovesteemer, i give just a 5 for the thought not so much for the performance.
  • ''can you still see me'' kinda horrordrama has some cinematographical aesthecism to it, great shoots, very good visual symetry, and the director doesnt run away from the plot aka yes its slow. The obvious reason to make a film in rumania is economic, their international filmstars are very rare, and them best known are usually silent criminal henchmen with a grumpy face , just like me or caucescu.

    The conseptual choice has been made since before hitchkok(c..k ) took it to the limits, and the golden stare between you and you over there is still to be made. The acting isnt showing out alot by the main cast, the rumanians are slightly better in theirs. But there is a giftful twist in there that i didnt see coming, and that maybe the reason why i give this a small recommend...
  • If youre hungry for swift and hilarious laughing moments, its a long time since i had such a donkeylaugh. ...

    its french and its tv show biz, and the wannabes whotakes part for 15 minutes of fame and maybe a moneyprice. It just spins out more than youll expect, its the french dumb and dumber edition. The grumpy old man recommends.
  • Production going behind the iron curtain to shoot a movie because the cost of production a far lower there then in the west...enough about that...

    its an accidental killing , and the unfortunate ones, just become neighbours does try to hide away the evindences.the collateral damage done in the plot isnt new nor original and the twists aint turning you upside down, but a small thrill in some broken latvian english, the small cast do what they are told, the story aint lifting an eyebrow of mine, it barely too slow on the plot and the playtime a bit too long, the filmography though have a layer of high quality. The score is nothing new on the block very generalized thriller music.

    Its laike a quick lay, easi done , easi gone, and no more than that. Grumpy old man generously awards this a weak 6.
  • Just like dried mushroom, a ''shifting trades'' kinda prematernity at 8th month of this couples pregnancy. There are moments of true giggle, but many moments of mediocre humour. The shapeshifting seems like a bit of a flaw at moments, cause he was the perfect french giggolo. So just a 5 from the grumpy old man.
  • Yourself out of adolescensce cold be a sidetitle, anyway, this is a film that will either make you smile or cry, yes it swings and turns like a manic depressive disorder, a film that gave me the throatlump due to loads of reminnisensive moments...my advice to a first kisser though would be''the stare of no return''...have had that just a few times in my long backbroken life even though im old and grumpy, but do watch this film for its essence, the story can be meddled over, but the 4 maincasts are just making a beautifilled story of life,sole, love and entanglement...

    that reminds me of track number 2 on the genesis album ''trick of a tail'', a song called entangled...a song that could make me laugh scream and cry of pure dismanteled mental joy

    yeah i recommend both.
  • Funny romantic interlude in the wetter parts of this gracious place called earth, a desperate ex teacher, now widov, never had an orgasm spinster-spin, that has thrown every deed of whaling overboard, having great moralistic issues with her choice of method to become another polished pearl in the infamous world of oysters... namely by ordering a dip and a snack from a full groomed but ever so young (dys-)functional male prostitute, having their date in a rather modesto like hotel room somewhere south of the wall of hadrian aka u.k....

    well its a talkative challenge of a waiting game if youre in for the practical fun of romances, but the wits of the main cast and the fumbling and everlasting strive to heat the goal hidden behind pertinence and humbleness, you will afford yourself a good laugh inbetween and emma thompson has yet made an appearance worth watching. Just one last precaution to all out there having orgasmical dysfunctionalities, this is not the recipie in the cookbook of how to obtain that starspangled feeling, but its better than eating scallop thinks the grumpy old man. A recommend.
  • To give this film a ten and a jackpot on the imdb star spangled movieheaven, but as a true story ,'' it all happened here in this town '' kinda movie you wont find a better goodfeel comedy at the market today...

    brian cranston, annete benning and rainn wilson could be the three way smile for the rest of the year, they found the flaw in the system, and everything is done by the head of a practical mathematics genious, winning the lottery if just playing at high stakes...

    its actually a small history lesson in interstate lottery history, and if you think you have a mind for that jetset life than have a look, if you are just the same old grumpy man like me that needs a kick in the buttocks and a bloody good movie to make me smile, then HERE IT IS, ''jerry and marge go large'', the cutest we are the champions kinda spirited movie that just brings joy and glory and the best of moods from a to z...
  • You wont score higher than 6 , so a 10'er for some and 5 outta 6 from the grumpy old man...because this is what makes making a home- carpented movie watchable, crazy caracters, loads of stupid jokes, summer camp outtin nowhere, stunning moments of blood and gore, the sleazy monster lurking on the premisses, bareflashing well embeded spinsterboobs, and hunky hormonfrisking groiningly frustratedladden young men... can you really ask for more??... its just a question of screwing it all tight and firm together and hope for the best of weed and booze, sex and rockn the bed because this is fizzling the summercamp counselers.

    This is seeding to become a slasherhorrorcomedy classic, not due to technical wonders, no its trashy sound and vision, not even a misty smokefilled room, and its not the story because its the same stew as every summercamp horror, its not brilliant acting rather a well harmonized ensemble that really wants to play the game of the guild , but nevertheless ,the caracters dumbsomeness and naive look on life and how to get laid are just awesomely done, and for every shift of scenes youll get sucked in for more, and if you love despicable body dismanteling and machetemagic then your in.

    The grumpy old man have been hardened over the years on blood and gore, more or less unwittingly, but some of the stuff in here came so swiftly and shocking ,like feeling the fist digging my duodeni more than once. So if you wanna watch tv on your own, then put this one in the player cause your spouce or better half wont (at least not mine)and have a goood time, cause its fun, its dumb and its basic filmaking so lol is my last word.
  • ''6 young adults go for a trip in the woods...''horror-movie, supposedly telling the story about horror entrepeneurship making classic horror movies into theme parks where paying visitors may take part in the moviesetups... gosh what an idea, and gosh what bad story and crash test dummies acting, they are just like small robots that can talk alot and do the moves and mimes that they just learned at the acting academy...so a group hug to ya all cause this is a student groupie en masse'

    no this is trashy stuff, its more dumb than evil death, and the surprise factor isnt present at all, its done so many times before, and the lack of experience shines a light on the acts and the filmwork and where where the thoughts left behind when writing the script?. The grumpy old man is in his most gracious corner today, a 2 is more than enough for this nitwitty slæsjer hårrår.
  • Teenage Y2K heistcomedy where everything look so neat, but where the trouble piles up like a tsunami in the backyard. Its meant to be a comedy, and if youre adaptabel to slang and signals that where used back then youll might find some amusement...

    its not the actors that ruins this film, the writers and directors have just lost any sense of eddible laugh out load comedy fantasy, so no slap stick my friends just a lot of '' i saw you'' and ''we see you'' kinda stuff while monsterheisting the minimarts atm-machine for all its worth on the last day on earth mentality being the crankshaft than rolls the steamroller steady going...

    no , the actors do a good job, its just nothing new on the plaza, the gas station idea has been used at least 4 times that i can recall the past 4 years, so just a small recommend from the grumpy old man.
  • Dented after watching this then youre not human. Im a grumpy old man, with a grumpy old opinion, that i do not want to share, other than that this is a piece of brilliant documentary making, and whatever the nays and jays that roared all over the world, even here in tiny little norway back then at the weestart of the digital age, a roar of justice that really never will be settled... so let them all rest in peace .

    A great documentary that reflects both sides and the third parts and the intense mediacoverageas well, so go ahead and watch and sense how it all felt back then.a must see whether you like it or not.
  • If youre in for some historical amendments to your political knowledge, god was i disapointed, viewing nixon on the poster, and hes barely blown outta the picture completely, so do a walkover on this one if its your main intention.

    Its a limping multidigressiv story about some hush hush cloacked meeting with a stenographer and a journalist releving a soundtape of watergate secrets, meeting in a cafe, ending up at a motel site, to listen in,but when starting their band recorder, the soundhead where missing and that starts the race between middleaged bosanova lovers and revolutionary hippies who lives at the campus hunting for a functional tapeband recorder...

    there are some lowbrowcomedy to it that doesnt raise a grumpy old mans flag at all. But the arrangement of fashion and decorating very much like the era of time, that is hardly the positive things i might mention. Its a very verbal exercise comedy, the acts are bland and the tone of it all kinda embarrasing and time consuming, no the grumpy old man feels tricked and tailed by this one, just a three...
  • No objectiveness in this criminal investigation story, was my first thought watching this 6 part story about cloak and daggering of russian elements living in angst and fear for their life for being in oposition to the russian government. It flashes its search light upon 14 suspicious deaths of russian conected individuals, cases that has merely been silenced by the british police and upper governmental spheres, and im surtain we'll never learn the truth of reality here. The evidence and build up of each case is plausibel but... nobody wants to get their hands dirty from dirt...

    but as an international affairs and suspectible death of oppositionals of the newborn russian state, the entertainment factor lingers pretty high, allthough you may sense the ''i did'', ''we did'' and '' we saw'' advert of buzzfeed journalism, the grumpy old man can only recommend a view, cause the deaths are real and the world is still cruel and im sure that more will come in the future.the lid hasnt been tightened completely yet...
  • Is a screwball, but as an adam sandler wannabe basketball coach in a movie feature(over-)lenght sportsmovie it aint bad at all. Nice and humble comedy, advanced and magnificent basketball hooping, not so well edited but over the fiddle well managed and acted movie about how to baden powell'ing for the talents out in the world in the sport of the giants and of cause the small bouncy white crickets...(there are usually one 5'9'' at every nba team, jøst lajk me...)

    its not a blockbuster and the budget is at a lowline within the professional film business, but a film for the people, of usa, spain and the rest of the basketeers of the world. Well worth a watch thinks the grumpy old man.
  • Football when dalgliesh shilton, clemmens and macdonald ruled the pitch, but coming of age i really feel disgusted by the sport of football or soccer as some call it...being an x-swimmer im more into the aquatics, and except waterpolo im a fan for life... modernj football lacks almost everything, and the things that make football boring seems to be in favour by the executives deciding the rule of the game...i also hate icehockey , more due to the size of the invisible puck and my trebled eyesight, but some of the rules couldve made modern soccer become a gold mine if they took my advice serious... and these are meant for the proffesional leagues

    ¤1 effective playtime, stop being fooled by players doing pingpong and hauling time on own pitchhalf, and extratime given that isnt proportional with the true lenght of time used.stop the clock when the ball is outta play, it might lead to cleaner games and shows the difference of loosers and the fittest of the game #2 use the whole team in every match where substitution of players could commence all the time, like in icehockey, fresher players gives better quality allround.

    #3 the card rules are stupendously stupid, noone cares anyway and the players get slaughtered anyway. So quit them stupid cards with real punishmentthat may harm the team as a collective, yellow card should in my opinion be granted with 10 minutes on the sideline, leaving the team with 9 fieldplayers, with 3 yellowcard within 10 minutes, well then just 7 teamplayer at the pitch, and that would be like rubbing salt into the sore legs or hips or groins whatever. A red card should be apointed 20 minutes penalty on the sideline and every red should lead to a heavy fine going to a fund that should offer help to every football club outside the league system

    ive got more rules in my head but that i leave for the runner up episodes of this tv series... because its a marvellous etch of a squetch of the british footballs premier league, i shall admit that theyve lit a hope for me to surrender and watch premier league again, but most of all , make a continuation to what has been presented already, i will 100% for sure watch them episodes, a marvel to the sport with emperor cantona and of course weeprince solskjaer. A must see for everybody that watched the 4 o clock saturday matches called ''tippekampen'' here in norway, a tradition that made my dad fall asleep and me dance the victory dance, just wish they could mentioned a weebit about them loosers to, otherwise a grand product and recommended by the grumpy old man.
  • Little story about how to secure life and limbs in the most deteriorating manners, where sales numbers have lifetrhreatening consequences, and i can assure that youll be dumbfaced by this little macabre insurance black comedy horror.

    Its neatly acted, some old guns arrives from the neverlands(mary from dumb and dumber), the filmographic story seems flawless, and the morals of the story is just absent, so if you like the pathic kind of horror genre you wont be dissapointed, a 1001 on minced meat for dummies, tastes good thinks the grumpy old man.
  • Opening the reminiscence of a grumpy old man, that got a magnifying experience about how much the original one had on me. Captain tom doesnt look a year older, neither do i ...thats in my head...

    allthough the magnificent air rides and combat scenes at mucho macho bringing ahead the same nauseaus gutfeeling that i have at the funfair ''merry go around'', there are some deadzones that took parts of the show near the ledge of boredome, its okay with flashbacks but when goose is gone he is gone, and the romantics between jen and tom do feel daft, cause the lady aint the same as it used to be, and is tom the father of jens daughter...?

    Casting the roles bears signs of dignitary spacialmade contracts , among them are ed harris, my gawd there are 1000's out there that couldve done that caracter, so why him. Kilmer is another story, he's living on the latter days of his life, and had a main role in the original top gun movie, and therefore an honour to see again, i can recommend the biopic documentary about vals fight against the cancer, that is a superb piece of muggblood disfortune history when epiglotal cancer hits hard.

    Also some of the newbies couldve had other actors, but elaborating that makes this review far to long.

    So a riveting airshow, accompanied by goosebumpraising original score by zimmer and faltermaier made me bounce back to the glorious 80's, taking the big dive into the abyss when the end credits and aula lights came on and observing that i couldve been greatgranddad to 95% of the audience, my gawd what a backstroke that was. But my better half eased a bit of that feeling afterwards, i just wish i had those talents of mr krus.

    A must see in the theater movie it is, dont wait for the net-release is the grumpy old mans advice.
  • The neighbourhood, in family with bill rahn, indian annecdotes and fairytails or simply loves the appalachian wilderness then you will not find this almost 2 hour action-mystery-drama, consisting of far too much monolouges and thinktankthought sherlock mystery cracking with the help of one native woman that considers white men as the worst of its kind, the white man being the cool ultra american lucky luke that while cleaning up and mustering around his diseased fathers belongings, comes over a treasure map where gold is the isthmus of it all.

    Having to fight his way through the wilderness, being bullied by chew tobacco spitting georgian rednecks that forgot the sunfactor lotion while moonshining by the nearest creek, who also knows about the oro legend, makes the race and sets the tone for the movie, written by, produced by, acted by, directed by edited by ...in other words yet another homemade bankrupted filmproject... signed and commited by bill rahn (ran is the norwegian word for robbery...) so consider your time of life left to live, its not worth my time and again, there aint too many flaws, and the music is nice country style, it is just too far streched and the plot is boring, not much indian johnas here thinks the grumpy old man. Not worth a re-view.
  • Becoming a possessed halloween storybook for kids, told like a creepy kids story, aimed for kids under adult supervision,casted with a lot of kids with good capabilities to learn the scripts and acts, though with a lying shouldershrug here and there they fullfil their part of the deal. To call it a horror may sound sweet to us grumpy old ones that devours blood and gore at daily basis, but for the wee ones it might be a fine intro to the dark spaces of the world, and to not to trust everyone out there...in other words its a childish story made for and with kids, by a group of homebrewed local theater fantasts, with a story told in many small tales, a medley kinda freakshow that works at a slow pace and where the worst word used is''prostitute'', i would define this as a dream come through for some that thinks horror for kids is cool, its made in a glittering crystalclear view, the props and costumes are good and the vivid use of colours works as an antidot upon the evil.....the grumpy old man became bored within the blink of an eye, but hung in there to conclude with a 5 at the scale, its for the kids...
  • Over nick cage's unbearable weight of his masters singingvoice and other libertilityies and confadence through a life of ufs and owns, and that makes a biopic fictional action thriller acted by nick cage a s nick cage as nicholas cage in... well youre maybe confused, and im still confused why they make a film like this, where reflecting upon ones life in a rather barrenly plotifyed hard to genrefy movie with a title that will irritate every generation to come cause the search engines needs the correct spell, and that maybe a spell that may doom a film like this...

    but i do like nick when he is allowed to show his comedy talent, he has a rubberface of sinister disbelief that tops itself in the film when driving under the influence of lsd on the coastal off pist road at the ballearic island of mallorca, where i wish i was now...ooohh calla d'or how i long for you... he is the top of the pops of dumbfounded facials and if you like that then this may open your laughing gates to heaven of a must see if youre fan.

    But as a product of silverscreen entertainment its too long , its too inconsistent plotwise, and has an overly nagging shine of bee grade movie. Its a film that balances and is carried forward by the talents of mr cage and his majorcan friend, it seems abit cheap round the corners, some of the fistfights made me laugh, so the grumpy old man gives a weak 6 and may put this on for my beloved better half.
  • In the middle family, yet coming of age, more hi/fy than scy/fy, sweet and humbledramedy made on a sober budget and a pretty small cast, yet more than 3 casted. A film about loneliness and wanted solitaire, parenting and family, moral and ever so reluctantly love.

    I wouldve fallen in love at first glance over the female cast physical appearances, not like the nerd of the show does, but he'll realise that in the end fortunately.

    Its a basic production, the cast delivers okydoky, without much flawing about, there is a policemancaracter, and searching for good stern face comedy then youll find some in here.

    Not much profanity nor sex, even though some sexuality if sportfishing in a bikini comes under that definition. The grumpy old man liked the view(just like bo derek did back in the 70's), and on top of that a pretty flawless product gets a little recommend.
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