cool_cool_1

IMDb member since November 2005
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    IMDb Member
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Reviews

Something Is Out There
(1988)

Entertaining and impressive Sci-Fi/Horror TV movie.
Something is out there (1988) is all about detectives Jack Breslin (Joe Cortese) and Frank Dileo (George Dzundza) who are investigating a serial-killer, who slaughters his victims and removes their internal organs. While in the crime scene, Jack notices the constant presence of a beautiful young woman, Ta'Ra (Maryam d'Abo). He finds her and is convinced that she is a doctor from a prison in the outer space. She explains that the murderer is a powerful alien, who is able to change his appearance, that escaped from prison, and she is chasing him. They join forces trying to eliminate the menace to planet Earth.

"Something Is Out There" is a very good sci-fi/horror B-movie, using a similar storyline of "The Hidden" (1987). The story mixes crime, horror, sci-fi and action, and it stars the lovely British Maryam d'Abo.

The movie is fast paced and lots of fun and the effects are very good too.

I give this very entertaining horror 8/10, it's pretty rare movie to find though!

Cabin Fever
(2002)

A post 2000 horror/thriller snoozefest.
This movie was basically a pile of crap!!!. The characters were awful who never gave a hint of acting ability! All of the cast are basically a bunch of inept dorks who don't appeal to 80's horror movie fans.

It was a bunch of brain dead early 30 somethings pretending to be about 20!!! I could tell it was gonna be a pile of crap from the 1st 2 minutes of the movie. Lame script and even worse AHEM 'jokes'.

"Cabin Fever" didn't pay homage to previous horror films, it just blatantly ripped them off. And it didn't even have the imagination to add a twist...it simply ripped off the ending of "The Night of the Living Dead." This is a poor effort, but I suppose if you are hard up for horror and have VERY low standards, you might get some thrills out of it. As for me, I thought this was a very poor movie and it barely kept me awake.So i give this 2/10 and thats being kind for this pile of donkey shat!

Hatchet
(2006)

Over-rated horror, but with good gore scenes.
Hatchet (2006) is another of those modern horror movies that tries to copy the magic of 80's horror's, although it did have some sort of 80's feel, it just didn't have much else.

The storyline was boring and predictable, and i didn't really care for any of the characters either, and some people have "TRIED" to claim that Victor Crowley, is the next horror icon......... Don't MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!! Anyway, the story is about a group of people who decide to go on a haunted swamp tour and they get hunted down and killed off one by one by a disfigured killer. It's all rather boring and predictable and just average to be honest, it's only saving grace is the gory death scenes, of which some were very good. So all in all, i give Hatchet 5/10.

Luther the Geek
(1989)

Boring Troma movie about a psycho killer who thinks he's a chicken!
Luther the Geek (1990) is a dull horror movie and is really bad even by Troma's standards!! It's about a freak who bites the heads off chickens, and kills people by biting their necks out, and he actually thinks he's a chicken himself!!!!! Luther gets released from prison after 25 yrs because apparentely he's been a "model" prisoner and deserves another chance in life (which is VERY hard to believe after you see how he acts and treats people throughout the movie).

After killing an elderly lady in a supermarket car park, he manages to sneak into a womans car, and proceeds to torture her, her daughter and the daughters boyfriend at their family home in the country.

Then we get treated to a long winded and boring movie, with awful acting all the way through, before a useless cop turns up to try and kill Luther once and for all!! Oh and the film has a ridiculous and laughable ending too!!! I love low budget horror movies and i think "The Toxic Avenger" is an all time classic, but i'm afraid Luther the Geek is just boring, illogical and dull, not much in the way of gore too, just afew bloody neck bitings and thats about it! 3/10

Death Proof
(2007)

It's certainly no "Kill Bill" thats for sure!!!!
Death Proof (2007) was a film that disappointed me in many respects, being a fan of Tarantino's work, i was hoping for A lot more action, violence and gore, there was some of course, but the BIG problem with this movie was that there was too much meaningless girl waffle, the build up to the action scenes were so slow and drawn out!!! All the females in this film were meaningless and stupid and to be honest, none of them deserved to survive!!! and they were too up their own arse to be routing for them, i hated them all!!! I wanted to see a lot more killings from Kurt Russell, the action scenes involving Kurt were the only worthwhile parts of this film. The rest you can totally forget as they were SO BORING!!! Just some worthless waffle about the girls talking about men etc etc, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!! It's not a total stinker, but definitely stick with "Kill Bill", "Pulp Fiction" or "From Dusk Till Dawn" instead, they are TRUE Tarantino classics! This female friendly movie was far too slow and tame and it's not worthy of being a Tarantino movie to be honest!! 4/10.

Just Shoot Me!
(1997)

Really good TV Show, funny and light hearted stuff!
Just Shoot Me is a funny US TV sitcom that is running on Channel 4 in the UK at the moment, it's funny stuff, set in the office of a fashion magazine, it has some good characters and loads of funny story lines.

I've enjoyed watching this show, Jack, Finch, and Nina have to be the funniest characters, Elliot is rather geeky seeing as he's supposed to be some sorta stud!!!!! But i suppose that adds to the laughs!! Overall i would give this show 9/10 it's really funny and i've enjoyed every episode so far, i'd much rather watch this than crap like "Will and Grace" or "Frasier".

It's the best American comedy material since "Friends" in my opinion.

Steve Irwin: He Changed Our World
(2006)

A wonderful and emotional tribute to the Legend, Steve Irwin.
Steve Irwin was a very special person, he was so passionate about wildlife, and his style could never be mimicked by anyone else.

He was so charismatic and full of life, i love the way he explained the animals he came into contact with, he had so much knowledge.

He was one of a kind and his programmes were so entertaining.

This tribute was shown live over here in the UK on the "Animal Planet" channel, and it was fantastic from start to finish.

It had excellent heartfelt tributes, from famous people in the film and music industry, to family and friends, the tributes by Steve's best friend Wes and Steve's daughter Bindi were very emotional, Bindi is such a brave little girl and she will definitely carry on her dad's huge legacy.

Steve's wife Terri was so emotional and still broken inside, she was unable to read out a speech of her own.

This tribute also had the Austrailian PM who was also a good friend of Steve, and it had some good comedy moments too, and some great moments of Steve in his younger days.

If you were a fan of Steve Irwin, (millions and millions of people and animals around the world are) then you must see this tribute if you haven't already, it was truly wonderful, just like the man himself. 10/10

Mirage
(1990)

Rare desert horror, well worth watching.
Mirage (1990) is a very rare horror/chiller from 1990, released here in the UK on the "New World Video" label.

It's a desert based horror film about a group of young friends who are partying for the weekend, only to be killed off one by one by an unknown force who drives a menacing black truck!!! This film has some creepy scenes, and some gore here and there, but i have to say that the acting was so lame, even by low budget standards! But the film was oddly addictive and i liked it, and i never fell asleep or turned it off, which is always a good sign! I nearly gave this movie 6/10, but seeing as it built up steam along the way, had some good moments of gore and suspense, had some good nudity, and the fact that the blonde in the main female role was a hottie too! i'll give it 7/10.

Freddy vs. Jason
(2003)

A film that took way too long to arrive, modernism kills it!!!!
Freddy Vs Jason (2003) i have to say was a disappointment to be honest, i am a massive horror movie fan, i love the horror films of the 80's, where the originality and story lines were so strong, as well as the "proper" make up/special effects.......... none of this CGI crap!!!

I'm afraid this film was lacking, the "Nightmare On Elm Streets" and "Friday The 13th's" were such strong horror movies featuring 2 of the biggest horror movie icons in horror film history.

This film was teased at being made years and years ago (remember the end of "Jason goes to Hell"?, and that was made in 1993). It took them 10 years to think of the script for this film, well thats really not good enough i'm afraid!

The fact that Jason is portrayed as the strong "Goodie" and Freddy is the "Baddie" is laughable, they are both destructive killers, if anything they should have teamed up to go on a massive slaughter spree!

I don't know what it was about this film, whether it be the laughable teenie "modern slasher movie cast" or the CGI or just generally the weak storyline........ it just didn't gel for me and it should have been a lot better than what it was, a horror movie to end all horror movies should have been SO MUCH BETTER.

It's true what they say, that don't make em like they used to! 5/10

Epic Movie
(2007)

Biggest pile of rubbish ever put on film!!!!
Epic Movie (2007) is total crap, no beating around the bush here, it was so bad it actually angered me that i paid to view this turkey and i wanted a refund, i felt cheated, the only reason i didn't cause a fuss at the cinema was the fact that something very funny happened...... a singing chant started in the audience (of about 12 people), and it went something like this, why are we watching, why are we watching, why are we watchinggggg this piece of CRAP!!!! I didn't have a clue what was going on, the 'script' was idiotic, the actors were totally lame and annoying and the jokes were pathetic and UNFUNNY, how this ever made it to the silver screen i'll never know.

I advise anyone who's thinking of going to see this piece of JUNK, to stay well clear and save their money, thank you and GOODNIGHT! 0/10

Murderlust
(1985)

Boring, low budget serial killer horror.
Murderlust (1985) is a very low budget film about a Sunday school teacher who seems like a popular guy with his fellow teachers, but in his spare time he likes to pick up young women (mainly hookers) and kill them (mostly by strangling).

Like i say the film was very low budget but also pretty boring, all of the killings were off-screen and there was hardly any blood at all, and no gore whatsoever, the acting was also pretty lame to be honest, and the storyline was pretty flat and routine.

All in all a very rare horror film to find, but thats because it's just not very good at all, stick with Henry: Portrait of a serial killer, it's far superior in every way to this poor effort!!! 3/10

Tourist Trap
(1979)

Good fun 70's horror with some very creepy scenes!!!
Tourist Trap (1979) is an entertaining horror movie from the late 70's, the movie is about a bunch of young friends who get stranded on an old deserted lane by a creepy old waxwork museum.

The owner of the museum seems like a strange but harmless old man, but things take a very nasty turn when members of the young group start getting killed off, who is responsible for the murders, is it old man Slausen or is it his collection of creepy mannequins who seem to be alive and hungry for blood!!!! This film was good stuff, it was fast faced, the performances were very good from the actors/actresses (Tanya Roberts was very sexy) and the film was never boring, and like i say, it had some very creepy scenes, so be prepared to hide under the covers! Definitely recommended to horror movie/ghost story fans! I give this film a highly respectable 7.2 out of 10.

Rocky Balboa
(2006)

Don't believe the hype, a big disappointment!!!!
Rocky Balboa (2006) was a movie i was so looking forward to, i'm a massive fan of the Rocky series, as most males are, but after coming out of the cinema, i felt empty and disappointed with this movie.

This Rocky film is very slow paced, with loads of scenes of Rocky having flashbacks and memories of Adrian and loads of pointless scenes of him in his restaurant telling his old stories!! The whole movie is a build up to his big fight with current unbeaten champion Mason Dixon (Tarver), Rocky decides to bring himself out of retirement after seeing a computer fight pitting himself against Dixon, with him winning the fight!! One of the movies problems is they didn't build up the Dixon character at all, he was flat and boring, he wasn't a ruthless killing machine that made Drago so good in Rocky IV, he was weak to be honest, with Tarver being a real life boxer, his acting abilities were always gonna be limited! and finally we get to the fight itself, which had afew good moments, but generally it was a 10 round slapfest, one of the worst fights of the whole Rocky series to be honest, with a highly disappointing outcome too!! The rating of 7.6 on here is very generous in my opinion, i give Rocky Balboa 5/10 and thats being kind, where was all the action and drama Stallone???

Friday the 13th Part III
(1982)

Reasonably entertaining Entry in the series!
Friday the 13th part 3 (1982) is a good entry into the classic Friday the 13th horror series!!!

I found it to be fairly fast paced with some good characters and some very good death sequences too!!!

Jason finally gets his trademark hockey mask in this one, and it makes him look even more mean as he goes on his killing spree!

This certainly isn't the best film of the series but it's a good effort and should please most horror fans, and should certainly please fans of the Friday 13th series.

6/10 for this one.

Blue Monkey
(1987)

Not very well known and a pretty boring 80's horror movie!!!
Blue Monkey (1987) or 'Invasion of the BodySuckers' as it's known here in the UK was a pretty boring horror movie about an old man who gets bitten in a greenhouse by some mysterious toxic plant!!!! The man gets rushed to hospital, where this worm like creature comes out of his mouth, of course this transforms into this insect monster and proceeds to go on the rampage!! Despite Steve Railsback and John Vernon being in the movie, i found it to be boring, with a flat predictable storyline, un-interesting characters, cheap special effects and lack of action!!!! Horror fans don't really need to track this rare movie down, you wont be missing much trust me!!! I give this movie 2/10.

Carrie
(1976)

All time classic horror movie.
Carrie (1976) is one of the classic horror films of our time, written by Stephen King and brought to film by Brian De Palma.

The story is about a plain young girl called Carrie who's old fashioned and cant fit in no matter how hard she tries, she has no friends and constantly gets bullied and harassed by all the other girls at her school.

But what nobody knows is that Carrie is a very special girl with powers that can cause devastating force!!! When Carrie gets unexpectedly invited to the prom by the school hunk, she thinks her life is turning around. But at the prom, there is a nasty surprise waiting for Carrie, a nasty cruel prank that has been set up to hurt and devastate Carrie. But all the laughter aimed at Carrie soon turns to screams as she unleashes her powers in retribution!!! Carrie is a great horror movie, with a great script and Sissy Spacek was perfect for the role of Carrie, this was her finest hour on the silver screen, no doubt about it. William Katt and Nancy Allen are also strong in the supporting roles as the school hunk and most popular girl (bitch).

Carrie also scores highly for it's excellent ending, one of the best in horror movie history!! Surely if you're a horror film fan you've seen Carrie? if you haven't then WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN for the past 30 years??????? 10/10.

Jack-O
(1995)

It's a cure for insomnia if nothing else!!!
Jack-O (1995) was a really bad movie, we are talking snoozefest x 100, no entertainment value whatsoever, no budget, no gore, Z-grade actors etc etc, this film was an awful addition to the horror movie industry and shouldn't have been made!!! The only reason i purchased this movie was because i knew Linnea Quigley was in it, and sure enough, she does her obligatory nude shower scene, which is lovely yes.

But as for the film itself........ i fell asleep at the 40 minute stage and had NO desire at all to finish it, it's just bigtime lame OK.

I love horror movies, i'm an avid fan, a MASSIVE fan, i love low budget horrors, i love it all, but i hated this rubbish, so i think that will tell you all you need to know about "JACK-O".

I give this movie 2/10, the "2" is for the 2 minute Linnea shower scene, the movie itself is a total ZERO!!!!

Ghoulies II
(1987)

Why has this movie got 2.4?????
Ghoulies 2 (1987) is a fun little monster movie, it's much better than the 1st movie, and also far better than parts 3 and 4.

It's got a good plot, and a very good setting, i really like the funfair setting, the ghoulies looked really good in this movie, they had more personality, there was also some really funny scenes where the ghoulies were killing off people in a variety of hysterical ways all around the funfair!!! I also think the cast were really good, Phil Fondacaro and Royal Dano were especially good.

If you're a fan of Gremlins, then you should definitely check this out, it's a fun, fast paced movie with lots of entertaining moments, and it also has a classic 80's feel to it, which is another bonus.

The rating of 2.4 is so in-accurate so don't pay attention to that, this film deserves 8/10.

Cellar Dweller
(1987)

Good old Cellar Dweller............ down in the pit......... there's IT!!!
Cellar Dweller (1988) was an 80's horror classic in my book.

It was good fun, it had an interesting plot and it's short running time meant that it never outstayed it's welcome, i love 80's horrors and this was one of the memorable ones, for it had a really cool monster, and it starred Jeffrey Combs, and thats a big plus indeed!!! If you like cool low budget monster movies then i highly recommend this fun classic from the late 80's, so if you haven't seen it then i suggest you get on ebay and see if there's any copies on there, if so then go for it!!!! I also recommend Monster in the Closet, that was another fun 80's horror with a cool monster.

My score for the Cellar Dweller: 8/10

Trigger Happy TV
(2000)

Great fun, with loads of funny gags!!!!
Trigger Happy TV (2000) was really good fun, i remember seeing it on Sky TV when it first came out, Dom Joly did some really funny stuff on this show, playing some classic practical gags on the general public.

The classic gag with the massive mobile phone, when that phone rang, he would shout "HELLO" really loud, whether he was in a library, on a train etc etc, that ring tone and phrase became very well known here in the UK, everybody was doing in for a while!! He would also play pranks on celebrities, most of the gags were really good fun, but the show did eventually run out of steam, 3 series was about the right amount, the show also had a really good soundtrack, the music was another highlight for me.

I will give Trigger Happy TV 8/10 for the funnier early episodes and the good music they used.

Eraserhead
(1977)

One of kind, but that doesn't make it GOOD!!!
Eraserhead (1977) is a very bizarre effort, what a strange strange movie this is, what was going on in David Lynchs mind when he made this? It's a very hard film to sit through because it's just too bizarre and it doesn't make any sense! I think David Lynch had a nightmare one night and decided to put that nightmare onto film.............. this being the result!!! I love horror movies, i love bizarre movies too, but i didn't enjoy Eraserhead unfortunately.

Most people will have trouble watching this to the end, most casual movie watchers will almost certainly switch off after 10 minutes or so! But it's a cult classic, but thats because it's one of a kind, most people who are fans of this movie, are fans of David Lynch. They will forever be trying to understand what goes on in his complex, bizarre and sometimes wonderfully gifted mind!

Underworld: Evolution
(2006)

A good fun action horror, well recommended.
Underworld Evolution (2006) was an entertaining movie, i enjoyed it, never got bored and being a fan of old school horror with proper special effects, i was curious about how the CGI and special effects would look, even though i'm not a CGI fan i was pleasantly surprised, i have seen so much awful CGI in modern horror and action films lately, but this film looked good and it was a fast paced movie, with lots of blood and gore and plenty of action too.

Of course the big attraction of this movie is the lovely Kate Beckinsdale as "Selene" the sexy vampire. She sure looks good in that tight PVC doesn't she and she kicks butt too, shes got great moves!!!!! I'm a massive fan of horrors and action films, but i love the 80's style and don't really dig all this modern horror, most of it is sub-standard remakes of old classics or teen slashers! But like i say, i enjoyed this and i expect i'll watch it again in the near future so therefore i will give this film 7/10.

Braindead
(1992)

Braindead is the ULTIMATE GORE CULT CLASSIC.
Braindead (1992) is Peter Jackson's finest piece of work, it truly is a cult classic of epic proportions, i loved Jackson's early productions such as 'Bad Taste' and 'Meet the Feebles', they were great fun but this film is a class above, i LOVE it!!! The plot for the movie centres around Lionel, Lionel is a lonely man who finds love by chance with a Spanish girl called Paquita, but there is one person who is determined to ruin the relationship for Lionel, and that is his nasty controlling mother, Vera.

On Lionel's 1st date with Paquita, they are at the zoo, Vera follows them and spies on them, but in the process she slip's onto one of the animal cages and gets bitten by this mysterious 'rat monkey'.

The poison from the rat monkey's bite starts to turn Vera into a bloodthirsty zombie-like creature and she in turn bites other people and turns them into these undead creatures!!! Lionel and Paquita have to work together to keep Vera and her undead friends from causing uproar and devastation in the local community, so he locks them in the cellar and uses lots of tranquilisers to keep them under control, but they break loose during a big party which Lionel's nasty fat uncle Les has planned for all his friends.

Greedy Les is not only after Lionels share of the inheritance, he wants the big house, and also Lionels girlfriend Paquita!!!! Can Lionel and Paquita save the day or will the party turn into a massive zombie-fest.

Braindead has some great characters, a great story, it remains to this day one of the goriest films ever made and it's also very fast paced and great fun throughout, excellent stuff! I love horror movies and this is ultimate CULT HORROR CLASSIC and it will always have a place in my heart as being the best of it's kind. 10/10 all the way.

Ludwig
(1977)

Ludwig........ bizarre yet entertaining!!!!!
Ludwig was a 70's cult kids classic, it's rare and hard to find but very entertaining!!! It's about this strange alien that is shaped like an egg!!! He lands one day in the woods and becomes friends with all the animals, and helps them out every time they get into trouble!!!

13 episodes were made back in the 70's, they are 1. The Arrival, 2. Hiccups, 3. The Hooter, 4. Glue, 5. Kites, 6. Tennis, 7. The Swing, 8. Skating, 9. Sculptor, 10. Umbrellas, 11. The Ball, 12. The Coin and 13. Bubbles!!!

I give Ludwig 8/10 because it was bizarre and entertaining and i like the old style animation and sound, really good stuff.

Hostel
(2005)

A horror film post 1990 thats actually GOOD!!!!
Hostel (2005) is a breathe of fresh air for the horror film genre, all we tend to get nowadays is remake after remake, or just general C-grade rubbish with Z-grade actors, so this film surprised and entertained me thats for sure! 80% of horror films that come out these days just don't entertain or thrill me and i lose interest with them before even making it to the end, but this was a great film from an upcoming horror director in Eli Roth.

The story is about 3 young men, 2 Americans and 1 European, who are on their travels around Europe searching for the sexiest and horniest women for lots of fun and hot sex!!!! They get told about this Hostel in Slovakia where the girls are gorgeous and dirty, so obviously they make their way out there to see what it's all about, and sure enough at the hostel there are loads of gorgeous young women with great bodies who are up for fun!!!! Everything seems to be going well until strange things start happening, the Americans European friend suddenly goes missing without a trace............. and it appears that the local's aren't as nice and friendly as they initially seem!!! As the 2 American guys try to work out whats going on, they later discover a run down old building where there is a sick business going on, and torture and killing is on the menu.

Can the Americans survive this Slovakian evil or will they just become another victim!!! I thought Hostel was a very entertaining horror film, the actors all did a good job, the girls were lovely and there was lots of nudity which is always a good thing, and of course the gore....... yep there was quite abit of blood and gore too.

Along with The Hills have eyes remake, i thought this was the best horror film in recent years and i highly recommend it. 8/10

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