Mike_T-Little_Mtn_Sound_Archive

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Reviews

The Furies
(2019)

Enjoyable, quick 80 minutes with some gore!
I actually quite enjoyed this! A solid independent movie, in really every facet. The story lines are basic and have been done as nauseum, but at least this one throws a twist in to it with the cameras.

All facets were done well: acting, directing, production, etc, with a shout out to the special fx team for the great gore fx. It's not often that indie films yield such good results. I watched it as a Shudder exclusive, and much in the same way that Boar had some gore, this does too. I really appreciate that from horror producers and directors. DON'T SKIMP ON THE GORE! Nearly your entire audience wants to see some good, ole fashioned blood and guts.

Well done. I recommend a watch for ANY horror fans, and even those in the Thriller camp.

Piggy
(2012)

Excellent film
There's some great reviews here so I won't rehash all that's been said, but this was a very good film. While done as an independent film, the progression and motif is done almost identically to Fight Club - the protagonist offers a linear (for the most part) narrative on and off throughout the movie, and while the technique has been used often, it is not always effective. With "Piggy" it is very effective as the juxtaposition and progression of the protagonist is both physics and emotional/mental.

All facets of the film are well done:
  • solid acting
  • excellent direction
  • cinematography is good. Not great, but good. The director could have done a bit more to capture the underside of London, especially since the anti-hero Piggy mentions something to this effect at the end of the first act.
  • sound and lighting were great, without being overly intrusive.


For those curious, the film is extremely violent, but most of it is not seen. It is, however, heard on most occasions, which produces the effect the director was after, just sans gore. There are a couple gory moments, but they were well chosen and the special fx were excellent.

I'm not sure why folks are panning the film with the bad reviews, as it was honestly one of the better revenge flicks I've seen in a long time. My guess is that those who didn't care for it were expecting something different than they got, considering the synopsis is dead-on correct with how the plot unfolds and the story is told. I will likely even watch this again in a few days.

The only true gripe I have is that the dialog is difficult to hear in a few places, and the thick cockney accents meant that I had to rewind and listen with the volume up on a handful of occasions. That could be my playback system, so YMMV.

Definitely worth watching if you like British films, revenge flicks, violent movies, or just want something that tells a cool story. Very close to a 9 for me.

The Human Race
(2013)

Interesting film with unexpected characters and scenarios
Ok...so first, this is not a landmark film that will appeal to the masses. After watching it I find it somewhat difficult to categorize. I suppose horror/sci-fi is the best fitting description, but the choice to have multiple deaf and handicapped characters and significant communication via sign language was fascinating.

The movie itself is an odd bird. The film work is not great, but I rather enjoyed the story. Actually, I found myself enjoying the story more as the film progressed until the end neared and i realized I had been sucked in. This would be a really cool big budget feature, with dresses out and elaborate sets. Be that as it may, it's a low budget indie with all the typical constraints normally encountered:
  • some of the acting is quite good while some of it is quite bad
  • special fx are almost entirely CGI, which I despise. I typically won't even watch movies that only do CGI... that's how much I don't like it.
  • sets were a bit generic
  • camera work was nothing to write home about.


With all those issues, I'm surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. But the story held my interest, the director and script did a good job fleshing out the main characters, allowing for a connection and likability (or un-likability as the case may be). This helps immensely and adds some of the twists that present themselves.

Overall, I quite enjoyed this film but I struggle with what audience I would recommend it to. It's not for the straight-up horror audience or any other genre. I suppose the best I can do is say that if you're in to independent films, and enjoy a story being told, that has elements of horror, drama, and a little science fiction, give it a whirl. Otherwise, I'm at a bit of a loss.

Dead Don't Die in Dallas
(2019)

It's supposed to be one of those "it's so bad it's good" zombie flicks...
...but it's just bad.

I actually applaud the concept, as it's a very "current" theme. I'm sure some folks like this kind of film, but it's just not for me, and seeing it with a >5 rating is hard to believe.

EVERYTHING is over the top.
  • cheesy, blown up "acting"
  • fake gore that looks nothing like actual gore
  • dialog so bad it makes you cross your legs
  • single point and shoot recorder that is so bad it makes you want to carve your eyes out with spoons
  • sound is likely captures by whatever single point stock stereo mic was on the camera, and is so bland and muddled at times that you'll want to ram copies of the Bible in to your ear canals
  • zombies so terrible looking that they'll make you run to bathroom for a long...um...session. And oh yeh...these are the fast running kind of zombies that know how to fight. Yeesh...I shoulda stayed in the bathroom.


Props to the creators for their message of LGBTQ empowerment and tolerance, but good holy moses on a popsicle stick...it was bad.

But what do I know. I'm neither a bible thumper nor a part of the LGBTQ community. Maybe If I was part of either club I would have appreciated the horror that is this film.

A Zombie Invasion
(2012)

Fake ratings suck
I'm not sure who is watching this, then giving it more than 5 stars, but I assure you, those can't be legit ratings. This is a terrible movie shot with a handheld video recorder. Excruciatingly bad sound, likely due to the only sound source being the single stock stereo mic on the recorder. Everything is echoey and muddled.

The acting is not the worst I've seen, so there's that, but the "zombies" look like they're wearing clown face paint and red blotches of makeup to intimate lesions. The special fx are virtually nil, and the overall production is amateur at best. Even with acting that MIGHT be tolerable, when every other facet of the movie is bad, it's hard to put it together for a cohesive film.

Oh yeh...that white clown makeup on the zombies? Many have it nowhere but their faces. Meaning, their arms are normal flesh color with a normal, healthy completion. And they're the running, smart kind of zombies that know how to fight and think. Ugh.

In my opinion, one of the poorer indie zombie movies. And that isn't saying much.

A Perfect Child of Satan
(2012)

Nightmares do come true.
I had not heard of this until browsing effedup and liked the description. I really enjoy shorts when they're well done, which this is, and I've enjoyed Valentine's other films, so this was a no brained to watch. It could have been even shorter, as the first and second acts (mostly the first) seemed to drag on, but I'm assuming this was done intentionally in order to fulfill the juxtaposition the viewer is faced with in the third act.

The use of sound is spectacularly harrowing in this. With the use of some sound modifiers and specifically composed music, the mood and violence of the movie is compounded at least 5-fold. The brutality, while direct and unwieldy, did not NEED this type of effect to achieve intensity, but by utilizing these sound qualities the viewer is immediately captured in the middle of the brutality. Very well done.

This film won't be for everyone. Reading comments like "no point" and "boring" are obviously from folks who a) have not watched many shorts, and b) just don't "get it." The viewer doesn't always need to be left having answers or feeling resolution. In some cases, the unsettling nature of films (especially shorts) is what comes by way of NOT answering questions or by not ending on a happy note.

We warned, while there is no gore in the film, the violence is fast and intense. Very brutal.

Axe Murdering with Hackley
(2016)

Fake ratings for a terrible flick.
Thankfully this was on Amazon Prime. If you read the hundreds of reviews of I've done, it's rare that I find absolutely no redeeming value in a movie. Not the case with this one. It's awful...terrible...boring...horrid, and any other descriptive synonym you choose. Why?
  • direct to camcorder
  • single mic (ie terrible sound)
  • the acting is atrocious. Actually, because the script was so bad, and tried to be ironic, it made the acting look pathetically tried and overdone. And when the acting is bad to begin with, that makes the whole thing a travesty.
  • zero real fx work on this
  • the script was the worst part, and that's saying a lot for a movie with bad characteristic pieces to begin with. As mentioned above, the writer tried to make this entire comedic mess ironic, and it simply didn't work. That would be a challenge for a seasoned director with talented actors and a good script, but because this is filled with "friends and neighbors" it's just pitiful.


Sorry folks...there is nothing about this that I can recommend. It's not even funny, which, for this type of movie, it should be. Based on the IMDB rating, and me being the first review, I'm guessing that every cast member (and then some) entered this as a 9 or a 10 star rating. Do yourself a favor...skip it.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever
(2009)

Nothing like Roth's Cabin Fever, but I liked it because...
...I'm a gorehound!

Look...it's pretty obvious after watching part 2 that Ti West had multiple options:
  • follow Roth's vision and develop a decent movie, or
  • push the boundaries and make a grotesque, blood-riddled gore circus.


He very much went for the latter. Indeed, many of the reviews here aren't wrong. What makes the difference for me is that in my opinion, TW did what he did intentionally, passing on the the opportunity to craft a fully cohesive part 2 in exchange for putting out the most vile and disgusting sequel he could, with the money he had. What does that mean? Well,
  • the acting is not superb but it's at least average,
  • the script is likely the least developed part of the flick
  • you get EXACTLY what he intended, which is likely why the ending is what it is, and the entire movie is barely more than 80 minutes.


Look...I could be wrong, but the purpose of CF2 is it not to take a prestigious ranking in the lexicon of horror cinema. It's GORE! There's really no other reason for its pervasive and continuous use and lack of other characteristics. That being the case, I enjoyed it! I didn't pick at the myriad of plot holes or script issues, or logically false issue that popped up, but enjoyed it for what it is...or a gorefest. Granted, I would have liked a better all around movie, but not at the expense of what he put out. There's just not enough straight-up gore flicks anymore, so I appreciated the graphic nature of the film.

It is worth noting that the fx are very well done. All the gore is done by way of practical fx, which is preferable to CGI. The largest part of the budget obviously went to the fx and it is noticeable.

All these meanderings are just my opinion, which means zilch, but for my purposes, being the gorehound I am, I enjoyed the flick. It's certainly not for the squeamish.

Hide and Creep
(2004)

Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
This is not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly among the bottom dwellers. I've written hundreds of reviews and rated thousands of movies. One thing you will NOT find a ton of in my ratings is movies rated "1". That is in large part because most films have at least some redeeming quality, no matter how minuscule, that prevent them from the dreaded rating of "this-sucks-worse-than-a-horndog's-vacuum_cleaner-1." For "Hide and Creep," I just couldn't pull it together enough to give it a 2. Maybe that's a little too harsh, but come on...when the only way to tell a zombie from an uninfected human is the white face paint, there's a problem. Seriously...the first zombie seen in this flick has combed hair, is wearing regular street clothes in good condition, has white face paint (yes...like a clown) with skin showing beneath the hairline, and black makeup around his eyes. And oh...his hands were normal flesh color. Come on man...I'm totally down with low budget...even micro-budget...but ya gotta at least make it look like you tried. H&C gives the impression that the directors and producers didn't want to do what they were doing. And for that reason, they get a 1.

Bad acting, no real fx of any kind, shot straight to video, sound done with a single ambient microphone (likely the stock one on the camcorder)...an all around high school-like production. Far be it for me to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't watch, but I consider myself a fairly liberal grader of movies and this one didn't even measure above ground. By all means, though...if you have insomnia and need to get some sleep, or suffer from a bad case of hemorrhoids and need a reason to get up and out of your house, turn this flick on. It'll do the trick.

U-neun nam-ja
(2014)

Excellent film. Not as gory as some make it out.
Excellent action movie all the way around. Solid in every facet of the movie -acting, directing, production, etc.

There are some good reviews below, and I'll say unequivocally that a full film review of mine would read like the better reviews. I wanted to comment on what others have written, that I believe to be wrong.

First and foremost, this movie is NOT gory. There is 1, maybe 2 scenes that have what MIGHT be considered gore, and the camera moves so quickly it almost can't be seen. Don't mistake blood and gore. There is a fair amount of blood in this, though less than some its Korean counterparts (eg Train To Busan et al). So really, while the parental guide comments multiple times about the non-stop gore, I'm guessing the reviewer either a) lumps blood and gore in to the same category, b) doesn't actually know what gore is in a movie, or c) has a really weak stomach. Like I said...lots of blood, little gore.

Secondly, several comments about the slow pace. I did not find that at all. I mean, the movie opens with action and blood! It sets the tone for the entire movie. There are parts (which are needed) that show conversations taking place or other non-killing scenes but that doesn't make the pace any less than free flowing.

All in all, a very fun movie. A bit on the dark side, but in a good way. If you like Korean/Asian action flicks, this is one you should see. It won't change your life but it's well worth the 1 hour & 50 minutes.

Moonshine Meat Market Mayhem
(2016)

Even bad for Troma
This is a Troma Productions film. Not all their releases are bad; some are great! I took a chance on this one, largely because it was free on Amazon Prime, but it was difficult to make it to the end.

This is a typical trashy film from Troma, not one of the better ones. I had hoped for a super cheesy gorefest, and while I got the "super cheesy" part, I did not get the "gorefest." Most of the bloody scenes fade to black or just cut all together before showing any blood or gore. Half the fun of a Troma release is the gore, sleeze, and lack of boundaries. This really had none of that- well, there was a LITTLE bit of sleeze.

Had hoped to find one of the upper-echelon Troma flicks I've come to enjoy. Found the opposite. Oh well.

Saturday Morning Massacre
(2012)

Much better than I anticipated
This will be short and sweet.

I ENJOYED THIS MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED!

Yes...it will remind you of Scooby-Doo. It's supposed to.

Yes...you have to take some things on "faith," which means there are some implausibilities & some factually illogical scenes. What horror movie doesn't have them?

Folks that watch horror movies and then nitpick them to death by saying "why go in there alone?" or "there's no way that could happen" miss the point in my opinion.

I actually really liked how this built steadily through the movie. The director did a good job of using subtleties to build the suspense and form the horror elements without using generic jump scares. Sounds, curiously angles cinematography, mirrors, lighting...they were all used to the director's advantage.

*** A HINT: Pay attention to the entire screen you're watching, throughout the movie. Just sayin.

The acting was pretty decent, I dug the story, the script was acceptable, the direction was good, the scenery was really good (they filmed it in an actual historic mansion), and the production was good.

Contrary to what a few reviews have said, I did not find this gory at all. If you're looking for gore, go elsewhere. There is a bit of blood, and a couple scenes that border on gory, but it's not a gorefest.

Overall, I liked the whole "Scooby-Doo" tie-in. Make no mistake...it's not a copy or a new incarnation, only the set-up and purposeful character tropes that tie them together intentionally. Really enjoyed it. Won't win any awards, but the $3.99 rental price on Amazon was worth it to me.

For fans of slasher movies.

Psychotic!
(2016)

Not well made, slow, and boring
Took a chance on this and it was a total loss. It certainly isn't the worst movie I've seen but it has no real redeeming value. Most characteristics of indie movies can be overlooked when not good, as long as the script is ok and the pace moves fast enough to keep you engaged, but from the opening scene this film simply never got off the ground. The bad acting, lack of any real direction and overall cohesiveness contribute to the bore of a movie, but the two characteristics that make it a true stinker are the script and the pace. The script is very bad, with constant meanderings of useless dialog, and the pace is excruciatingly slow. It's supposed to be a slasher, and it seemed like forever for anything to occur (outside a very BLAH kill that opens the movie).

A real stinker. It is so boring that even some movies worse than this would be preferable. I can not recommend it in ANY capacity.

Massacre Party
(2015)

Good holy moses on a popsicle stick that was bad.
I LOVE shorts. They rarely portray the depth found in full length feature films, but when done well, they don't need to. Sadly...this is not one of those cases. If you read any of the hundreds of reviews I've written, I rarely give something a '1,' as almost any film has some sort of redeeming quality to it. Again...sadly, not this one. Thankfully it was 5 minutes. Why?

  • The acting is absolutely terrible. Like, really bad. Heck...within the first 30 seconds the main character breaks the rules and looks right in to the camera.
  • The sound and picture are worse than terrible. I'm not sure what kind of camera was used, but my guess is that it was done on a video camera, with the only sound being captured from the on-camera mic. The picture is bad, and if the handful of spoken lines in this short, several are barely audible due to no ambient mics or actual sound equipment.
  • Special fx are non-existent. Zero. Zilch.
  • it's hard to critique directing chops on a 5 minute film, but personally, I would have edited it better and changed a few of the camera shots. Considering it's only minutes, that's not a vote of confidence.


I didn't mind the story. In fact, if someone more experienced had done the exact same short but with better equipment and a few dollars for decent practical fx, it would have been an enjoyable five minutes. Seriously. Shorts are supposed to hit it and quit it, but they're only enjoyable when done well. This is not. I'm neither a filmmaker nor a director, but I am confident that even I could have created a better short.

Sorry folks. Really wanted to like it. Next time, don't get your friends to play the parts, and spend a couple hundred dollars for fx. It'll save you from people hating the product.

Lurking Woods
(2015)

Not the worst thing I've ever seen, but it was just straight-up boring.
The header pretty much describes my opinion of this film. It's not a very well made movie- the acting is very amateurish at best, the sound is pretty bad, the special fx are very poorly done (although the first kill looked pretty good), the sound & lighting make it difficult to enjoy, and the directing & script are the worst offenders. The script itself is one of the worst I've seen in a long time. The kills are far and few between, with length segments of, well, nothing (ie characters just talking pointlessly or merely sitting quietly).

Once again, I fell for fake reviews. I thought I'd learned how to pick out the stinkers, but I got taken with this one. It's certainly not the worst thing I've suffered through, but I would not recommend this to anyone.

Side note: very little blood, no gore, brief topless female nudity.

All the Devils Are Here
(2014)

Pretty terrible.
Subpar acting, bumpy camera work, and an all around disappointment. Even taking in to account what it is, or isn't, I'm not sure how anyone can rate this so high. It doesn't come close to the 80's flicks. Major let down.

Revolt
(2017)

Worth a watch for alien invasion sub genre fans.
There is nothing new or prophetic about this film when compared to other similar movies in the genre. It will not knock your socks off, nor will it leave you clambering for a sequel. BUT...it's an entertaining single-watch alien invasion sci-fi film, which there are simply not enough of. And decent ones are even more rare.

The synopsis is pretty well summed up by the short description in the IMDB entry. What isn't mentioned is the film's production merits.

This is definitely a low(er) budget film, but it's a great example of how a decent film can be produced without spending $100M. The acting is decent to good, the special fx are very good all things considered, and the production pieces (eg editing, sound, etc) are also well above average. The story has some areas of drag, and there are definitely more than a few incongruencies, but they were nothing that ruined the movie. I mean, we're already out on a limb imagining that aliens have invaded the earth, so just go with it and don't expect lots of answers to the more trivial questions you might want to ask.

All in all, it's worthy of a watch. Certainly not worth spending the money to take a family of four to the movies over, but if you have Netflix or other streaming service you'll definitely get your money's worth for a quick 90 min escape.

Dong wu shi jie
(2018)

Fantastic movie. Never expected what I saw!
Not really going to "review" the synopsis aspects of the film, as there are tons of online versions, but man...what an unexpected find! I am not an anime or manga person, so coming upon this was a bit happenstance. The film is extremely well made, with top notch acting, directing, and production. The finished product is also one of the best looking films I've seen in a while. The Ultra HD 4K IS FABULOUS!!! It's not just the resolution that makes it sing, but the use of very specific colors and lights which make the HD that much more striking, as characters and scenes simply jump off the screen. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of a film that looks better.

If you are a fan of any of the following, you will enjoy this movie:
  • Asian cinema in general
  • Manga and/or anime
  • High def movies, regardless of content
  • Allegorical stories
  • Sci-fi action films
  • Movies that can't be figured out quickly


All that said, the copy I have does not have a dubbed language channel, so it's subtitles all the way. IMO, for whatever that's worth, watching dubbed films always detracts from a film when compared to an original language film with subtitles, even if just slightly.

I've watched Asian cinema for years, and one of the many things I appreciate about these films is that there are no off limits topics and no roadmaps to building the plot. In other words, anything & everything goes! There is some truly weird content in this film. Not weird as in overly violent or graphically sexual, rather, just WEIRD. Weird, as in strange... offbeat...abnormal...odd...and all in superbly good ways! I won't offer any examples, but suffice it to say that there were no creative limits put on this film. I only wish American films would do more utterly, crazily creative and absurdly warped pieces like this. Sadly, American audiences just don't subscribe to the idea of big budget films with scenes (and many of them) that make the viewer say "what in the heck did I just see? That was totally out of left field." Asian cinema, in large part due to the incredibly unbounded fantasy that can be seen in manga or anime, has embraced otherworldly weirdness in the regular world. That's what makes the good ones so good...it's a bit like an acid trip whilst watching the story unfold.

Do yourself a favor...if you're a fan of any of the above types of films, watch this movie. The protagonist is superb, matched only by the tightness of the script, and Michael Douglas is PERFECT!

Monsters: Dark Continent
(2014)

Less a monster movie than a modern war film.
There are some decent reviews here that need no additives, so I'll leave a simple comment re: content.

The monsters take up barely 10% of the film. I really enjoyed the first one, and even that had limited monster screen time, but aside from there being a few monsters in this movie, it is nothing but a modern war movie with dramatic character scenery.

It's a well made film for what it is, it's just not a monster flick. If that's what you're looking for, and haven't seen the first film, I wouldn't recommend it. If you're merely a fan of dramatic war films that illustrate what war does to the human psyche, then sure...give it a watch.

Draug
(2018)

Not terrible, but flawed, slow, and hard to believe. Just your run of the mill Swedish zombie movie
I LOVE Nordic films that deal with actual lore. Doesn't matter whether it's Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Icelandic...I enjoy them all. Especially when they're in the native language. I won't offer a synopsis, as the summary tells you what you need to know.

The positive:
  • some really beautiful scenery, as nearly the entire film takes place in some pretty remote, wooded areas
  • interesting story. Certainly nothing prophetic, but falls in line with historical dealings
  • some interesting sound fx and scoring (see negatives)
  • film quality and sound were pretty darn good considering


The negatives:
  • the acting is only "okay." There are several parts when it is questionable at best, which affects believability, flow of the film, and overall character personae.
  • the special effects are not good. While there is not a ton of blood, CGI is used for the majority of larger wounds or battle pieces, and it's just not good.
  • one of the believability issues I overlooked the least was the costuming. Every single person wore clothes that not only had NO DIRT or stains, but appeared brand new. Even the travelers. It goes without saying that living the 11th century, especially in areas that were not yet developed in to cities, was extremely dirty. These people walked around with brand new looking colorful clothes & leather, brushed hair, visible makeup, and perfectly white teeth. This problem is not unique to the film, but really stuck out, and for some reason really bothered me.
  • overall production of the film. As mentioned, there is some stunning scenery, but the direction and acting was inconsistent and lacked a cohesive flow. Use of filters was actually a bit overused for my taste. It's standard fare for many Nordic or Scandanavian films to be shot using dark or bleak filters, and often times really adds to the ambience of the project. This is also true with the Draug, but at times it felt overused and saturated.
  • the music and sound Fx were not consistent. At times it was not bad, but at other times it was flat-out annoying. It's actually difficult to refer to the accompaniment as a "score," as there is no thematic music, but only a series of sounds assembled in a way that has musical qualities. Otherwise, it's just a mishmash of orchestrated sounds in order to provide tension. It's not until the very end that actual melody is heard. I'm fine with no musical score, but sometimes it got plain annoying.
  • there is very little violence, no real gore of any kind, and limited intense scenes. If it wasn't one thematic element being present (that of "zombies") I wouldn't call this a horror movie at all.
  • the ending


I dunno...I wanted to like this sooooooo bad, but it just didn't happen. Like I said initially, it's not a terrible film, but it lacks significantly in nearly every aspect. I probably would NOT recommend watching it unless you are a) Swedish & in to dark movies (both in color and thematic material), and b) dying to watch a Swedish movie.

Trailer Park of Terror
(2008)

Could have been really good, BUT...
I was in the mood for a mindless horror-ish gore flick and upon reading the reviews thought I'd found that. Indeed, I was (kind of) right.

My only real gripe about this movie is its pace. The first 55 minutes is slow. Not just a little slow, but REALLY slow. Like under-the-weather turtle crossing the road on a cold day slow. Seriously. For an 90 minute horror(ish) movie to take 60 minutes before the first real bit of blood is shown, really does itself a disservice. This 60 minutes was spent with a small amount of backstory of the characters, and scenes that take up way too much time considering they are inconsequential to the story. Once the 60 minute mark is reached and the first bit of action breathes life in to the film, the pace STILL doesn't really pick up for another 10 minutes or so.

That said, the movie was exactly what I thought it would be...mindless. Overall, the production is well done, with decent acting, fair to good production, and realistic special fx. This was actually the biggest (and most pleasant) surprise of the film. Practical fx are used in favor over CGI, and the fx teams did a pretty darn good job at making them realistic.

Look...it was not a bad movie, and had the script been more evenly paced the rating would have definitely been higher. It's always appreciated when writers provide back-story for characters, but a movie like this needs nothing more than a brief glimpse of who is who, and then right in to the meat of the film. Zombedies are not meant to provide depth, other than the length of whatever instrument is being used to do the slicing and dicing. So, like I said...not a bad flick, just a bit of a bore for the first 2/3.

Till Death Do We Rot
(2019)

I should have watched the trailer before the movie
Ugh. A complete bomb. Had I merely watched the trailer before viewing the movie, I could have easily determined how terrible the a) acting is, b) the terrible production (sounds like it was filmed with one ambient mic), phony fx, believable characters, and c) saved myself 80 minutes. Seriously folks...watch the trailer before you burn those 80 minutes of your life...what you see on the trailer is actually THE BEST this movie has to offer.

Please feel free to read my 100's of other reviews. I rarely pan a film, but it's obvious that the 8.3 rating is skewed.

Ready or Not
(2019)

Super fun flick!
It's got a little bit of everything! -sex (barely) -drugs -Satan -blood & gore -ironic soundtrack -sarcasm (come on...Adam Brody's in it) -humor as dark as the night is black

As others have noted, this is nothing prophetic, but it's a darn fun ride with some cool twists, turns, and great production quality. This is actually something I'll watch again, even though I know how it ends.

For the life of me, I can't understand how anybody who read the description of this movie and then watched it, could give it a low rating. It's EXACTLY as described, but better. It doesn't make the mistake of lumbering on for 2 hours, but is a quick watch.

A note for violence: some reviews comment that it is extremely gory. I did not find this to be the case. It is quite bloody, but for the most part, it's tame enough to allow folks who can't handle tons of gore to watch it, but meaty enough for gorehounds to enjoy it. I would always prefer gnarly amounts of viscera, but it was still a super fun romp of a flick. For what it was meant to be, the writer and director nailed it.

Ta hronika tou Drakofoinika: Adamastos
(2013)

I wish the IMDB rating was true but the reviews and score are fake
Terrible movie. After so much time on IMDB it has gotten easier to spot fake reviews and artificially pumped ratings. This is one of them. The film is complete rubbish.

I always applaud the folks who write and produce these films, as they obviously have a love for the topic, but it stops there.

Total garbage viewing. Scarred and grizzled warriors, all of whom wear nice, brand new leather. Battle-hardened knights, all wearing spotless, shiny armor...both before and after battles. Peasants in villages, all of whom have perfectly white teeth, brand new clothes, and not a spec of dirt on them. If you can get past that stuff, you certainly won't make it past the acting. It's horrible.

Mostly just here to make sure folks to fall for the faulty reviews. Not only is it bad, but it's over 2 hours of bad.

Twinkle Twinkle
(2019)

The only thing worse than the movie is the grammar and spelling in the plot summary...which is written by the director.
Good holy moses on a popsicle stick...this was bad. I should have known it would be terrible after reading the plot synopsis:

"...fun turns to horror as THEIR (sic) captured by something unholy..."

"with a (sic) all star cast of new acting talents..."

"...comes the most real British Horror film ever made..."

So wait...it's an all star cast of never before seen actors? Gotcha. And oh...the best British horror ever? So, better than the Hellraiser series? Event Horizon? American Werewolf In London? 28 Days Later series? The Omen? The Descent? The Wicker Man? Ok...so this I gotta see.

WRONG!

This is, as the Brits would say, a piece of rubbish & bloody bullocks. Any reviewer saying otherwise is either lying or off their trolley. Or associated with the film.

I mean...come on...how many writers/directors produce a plot summary with so many errors that the synopsis must be read more than once in order to comprehend the plot?

This is nowhere near what the IMDB rating suggests, nor is it anywhere close to what the synopsis illustrates. The acting and direction are amateur, at best, the script would have been more valuable as toilet paper, and the FX...well...there really weren't any. It's just a cheaply done passion project of someone who had no actual budget, and no experience writing, directing, or breathing.

I rarely find a movie that has absolutely zero redeeming value, but this is one of the few that has NOTHING to offer. In fact, you might need to wash your eyes out with bleach after seeing this...once you awaken from whatever bore-induced stupor you're in.

Of the dozens of reviews I've written, I have NEVER been this harsh.

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