Photos
Quotes
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C.W. : I found the Picasso. It wasn't easy. I was looking for a woman with a guitar and it was all cubes. It took me two hours to find her nose.
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C.W. : The house is messy. If I knew you were coming I'd have had the maid rearrange the dirt.
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C.W. : Are you divorced or widowed? Did your husband commit suicide? I could understand that.
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C.W. : I hate her just like I hate that German Chancellor with the moustache.
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Laura Kensington : I have a strawberry birthmark on my thigh. Want to see it?
C.W. Briggs : Sure, when can I take the full tour?
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C.W. : There's a deck of cards with naked women on it.
Laura Kensington : Let me guess, you use it to play solitaire.
C.W. : I used to date the six of spades.
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C.W. : Are you going to take your coat off? It hasn't rained in this apartment in 20 years.
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C.W. : It's a match made in heaven... by a retarded angel.
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C.W. : Did I really throw you out of bed?
Laura Kensington : Why? Are you planning on using the insanity defense?
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C.W. : A lot of women have passed through this apartment. I can't say they were all winners, but...
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C.W. Briggs : They say, I always get my man.
Laura Kensington : Me too.
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C.W. : You snore like a grizzly bear with a sinus condition.
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C.W. : My clergyman - who happens to be wanted for pederasty - will vouch for me.
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Laura Kensington : You have a fresh mouth. I don't think I like it.
C.W. : I tend to grow on people. We could meet later and I could grow on you.
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Laura Kensington : I'll slip into something a little bit more comfortable. Wait for me in bed.
C.W. : More comfortable than that? What are you gonna put on, Jergens lotion?
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Betty Ann : So what, you always get your kicks fondling women's shoes?
C.W. Briggs : Once in a while I'll fondle a whole woman...
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C.W. : We'll have lunch. I know a great restaurant you'll love. Gestapo food.
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C.W. : They all look the same upside down.
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C.W. : I may be a scummy vermin but I'm an honest scummy vermin.
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C.W. : Never trust a woman who whistles for her own cab.
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C.W. : Don't work too late. The bags under your eyes are getting bigger.
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C.W. : The New York City Police want to give me a lifetime achievement award.
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C.W. : This is a very smart burglar and you guys have trouble figuring out who did it when you get a confession.
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C.W. : I didn't do it and i gotta have time to prove it, otherwise they're going to lock me up in a concrete building and you'll only be able to insult me on visiting day.
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C.W. : So, should we... get out of here and find someplace where we can start making up for lost time?
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C.W. : Let me have the cherry cheesecake and a prune danish and a couple of Hershey bars, oh and I should have something sweet. Let me have some chocolate covered raisins.
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C.W. : You have a nicely shaped buttocks.