IF ONLY I HAD CREATED a replicant of myself...SO THAT POOR SUCKER COULD HAVE SAT THROUGH THIS MOVIE!
I'm still reeling from the appalling trash that is REPLICANT! I hope the kindly folks at my local AMC theatre near Tokyo Disneyland forgive me for leaving claw marks all over their comfortable seating. HAH. I must admit I didn't walk out.....I was with a friend, and, well, she whispered to me that she kinda liked it, so...well, you know.
Jean-Claude Van Damme AKA The Muscles From Brussels defines himself as an actor in this movie. Hang on...what am I saying? Oh yeah, that's another actor, another movie...Syllabically-challenged Van Damme stinks! His acting is oh-so woefully bad he easily makes a naked store mannequin look like an Academy Award winner. But I suppose I'm the idiot for expecting anything more from this Belgian Waffle. To think he plays two characters in this movie - one a vicious killer, the Torch; the other a drooling, IQ-lacking, Mummy-change-my-nappy replicant...with the very original name, Replicant - so unconvincingly that it actually invokes belly-aching laughter...well it did from me any way! See Van Damme (as the Replicant) bumble, fumble and stumble around the city like a Scientology recruit on the run!
And what can I say about all-rounder Michael Rooker's performance? Ummmm...not much! Does Rooker have to act so damned angry in every movie he makes? His brutish Jake Riley seems fitting at first, but he overplays the role. I did, however, enjoy somewhat his stomach-pounding mistreatment of Van Damme throughout the film. "That's for 'Timecop', and that's for 'Double Impact'..."
On a serious note, the murder scenes are graphic and a real turnoff. Do we really need to see the Torch burning his victims and putting a baby's life at risk? I also found a scene involving the Torch's dead mother to be one of the worst I've ever seen. Not recommended for those with weak stomachs.
My advice is to avoid this movie like the plague.
Skottyrock's rating: 0.5 out of 10
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