The first time I tried to watch it, I had to turn it off. It was that bad. Let me explain this to you; I don't EVER turn off movies or leave
before they are over. My motto is "Every movie has at least 1 thing about it that is good". I have gone to the local video store and rented everything in the old
release section, starting with the 'A's and making my way
alphabetically. And I never turned anything off before. Never. I have sat through crappy horror movies, boring dramas,
braindead action movies, sappy romances, and unfunny comedies. I have sat through bad porn. I have sat through bad gay porn, and I'm NOT GAY!! I have sat through the Star Wars Holiday Special. This is what it means when I say that the film was so bad that I
had to turn it off.
I gave it a second try, and managed to force my way through until
the end. The movie sucks. I was expecting a bad, cheesy action movie with mediocre special
effects. I was right, but it was also an incredibly long, drawn out,
slow paced, nonsensical piece of utter garbage. The dialogue not only is extremely poorly written, but the
characters talk at length about nothing. There's this one scene in the movie where Betty Ross goes to talk
to David Banner, presumably for a specific reason, and the scene
goes like this: She walks in and introduces herself. He rants, raves, and drools for something like 10 minutes. She walks back out again. What the HECK was the point of that!?
The casting was bad, the acting was good only in the sense that
they did what the director wanted. The CGI Hulk effects were
cartoonish and he looks somehow a bit Chinese.
The movie is bad. Not "so bad it's funny", not "purposefully bad to
make a point", not "low-budget bad", just BAD in the strictest
sense meaning evil, painful, and malevolent. I tried to make fun of
it as I watched it, as that is one way to get entertainment out of a
bad movie, but it was just too bad. My normally quick wit was
paralyzed by the sheer awfulness of this film.
I tried watching it again one time, just to see if it was as bad as i
remembered, but my eyeballs took such offense to the notion that I
might once again subject them to the pure and utter hell that is this
movie, that they popped out of my eye-sockets and tried to roll out
the front door. I crawled along the floor, bleeding out of my empty eye-sockets
and listening for their squishy rolling sounds. Eventually I caught
them, washed the dust and cat-hair off of them, and put them back
in. It took me several hours to do this, and I somehow got one of
them in backwards. But, all in all, it was far more enjoyable than sitting through this
pitiful excuse for a film a second time.
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