The Spy Next Door is a kids' fantasy in the same way that Disney films from the 1970s were. The badguys slip up and the kids learn to fight in a way that only a six-year-old would appreciate. We're just lucky that the film doesn't end with someone pulling a lever and dumping a ton of sugar on the badguys' heads.
Unfortunately, the film misfires in every way I can imagine, except that it is shot in color. The acting of the main stars as well as the supporting cast was rock bottom, with none of the timing that comedians are supposed to be good at. Instead of avoiding stereotypes, the film embraces them in shallow ways, such as the improbable Russian accents.
From an action movie standpoint, the film spends its tension unwisely. With the exception of a creative scene involving kitchen implements, when Jackie Chan is trapped in a corner, instead of fighting it out with martial arts, he reaches for a spy gadget. Somebody should have learned from the previous Jackie Chan film The Tuxedo that the guy does better without gadgets. In addition, the gadgets chosen aren't used cleverly and the special effects are unconvincing.
I'm sorry to say that Jackie Chan also does better without romance, at least in English language films.
On top of all the poor acting and writing, I'm afraid I need to add poor editing. I rarely seen a film these days where I'm confused as to what's happening where and when. There were several scene transitions in The Spy Next Door that jumped.
All of these things added up to constantly knocking me out of my suspension of disbelief. I was unable to let go and enjoy the movie.
Truth be told, kids will enjoy it because kids will enjoy anything. They're so young that they don't know the difference between good and bad media, and they have so little experience that everything seems fresh to them, even a retelling of "A Christmas Carol" yet again.
Still, in a world with The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Where the Wild Things Are, and Wall-E, why as an adult subject yourself to 90 minutes of pain? Choose a different film and breathe free.
Oh, and if you are a Jackie Chan fan, this film is worse than the Tuxedo. I've seen over 25 of his films, trust me, you don't want to see this one.
I'll give The Spy Next Door a rating of 4 out of 10, the highest rating I'll give a film that I watch all the way to the end.
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