Review

  • Warning: Spoilers
    Based upon my own observation, there are three tiers of supernatural horror movie.

    The first-tier movies are big budget blockbusters like POLTERGEIST or THE MUMMY (either the 1999 Brendan Fraser or the 2017 Tom Cruise) or THE SHINING. Aside from the story itself, which apparently no amount of budget can guarantee no matter how many millions are spent, these movies have top-quality technical elements and top-drawer actors.

    The second-tier features movies like the first FINAL DESTINATION or DARKNESS FALLS or the first JEEPERS CREEPERS. These movies characteristically have much lower budgets and typically feature a couple of namebrand actors with well-established careers mixed with a chorus collection of nearly unknown but still very competent and often up-and-coming actors. The namebrand actors are never leads and are usually character actors or "supporting" actors. Rather humorously, you can actually look at the roles they play and you can tell that they are only there to trade their recognizable name for a paycheck. They probably only had to be on set for a day. They're the archetypical "working actors". Movies in this tier often get picked on but they're usually of good quality with more than satisfactory production values and I'm of the opinion that they often get an unfair rap from reviewers, amateur and professional.

    The third-tier movies are generally garbage that somebody shot on an iPhone. These movies feature off-the-shelf music that rarely matches the scenes it corresponds to, cinematography that mostly consists of an endless succession of head shots so tight you can count the pores on the actor's noses (so no need to scout for legitimate filming locations or properly dressed sets) and performances so wooden and stilted that SOUTH PARK cutouts put them to shame. Any time you see Gravitas Ventures or Uncork'd at the beginning of a movie, third-tier caliber is almost certainly what you're about to watch. Seeing either one of these in the beginning credits of a movie can literally give me a stomach ache. Not quite all, but almost all found footage movies fall into this tier. Just sayin'.

    POLAROID falls cleanly into the second-tier. The "working actors" for POLAROID are Mitch Pileggi and Grace Zabriskie, both accomplished and well-established actors; Ms. Zabriskie has been making movies for a solid 40 years. She has the "creepy old dame" market all but cornered. Just having her look at you with her permanently baleful expression lends cinéma vérité credence to any horror movie.

    POLAROID is not at all original which bothers me not in the least. At this point in the history of moviemaking, genuine originality is approaching impossibility. I ask only that, whatever the story may be, that it's rendered with quality and enthusiasm, and POLAROID does that. Very simply, there was a very evil man who did very evil things culminating in his bad ending which resulted in his becoming an evil spirit attached to a Polaroid SX-70 land camera. If your picture is taken with this camera, you're dead in some terrible way. And don't think about trying to destroy the camera OR the pictures because the evil spirit takes a dim view of THAT, too.

    The bulk of the movie is the string of deaths, the discovery of the nature of the camera followed by the discovery of how circumstances transpired to result in such an unhappy state of affairs, the development of a plan to bring an end to the evil spirit, and then the implementation of the plan.

    Standard fare. Standard through line. Everything accomplished with quality and at least adequate-to-purpose acting. A few good jump scares scattered throughout for flavor. Definitely no Oscars here but absolutely your money's worth. You know what you're getting when you buy your ticket.

    The only criticisms I have is that there are a couple of plot points that don't ring true. For example, one erstwhile very argumentative teenager suddenly declares, utterly unbelievably altruistically, that perhaps the fact the evil spirit is coming after him, inevitably resulting in his death of course, might perhaps "buy time" for the leads to figure out how to stop the evil spirit. Oh, sure.

    Good movie. Well made. Worth seeing by any fan of supernatural horror.

    Anecdotally, if it was me trying to figure out how to put a sock in the evil spirit, I'd have gone to a professional football game and taken a picture encompassing all the spectators at once. That'd keep 'im busy for a while.