There are rip-offs and then there are rip-offs of rip-offs. Backwoods was a 2008 rip-off of The Hills Have Eyes, complete with mutant hillbilly cannibals, women kidnapped for breeding, etc. Hell, it was even filmed in the same part of LA county. Eight years later, you have Paul Logan's The Horde. This film was written by Logan as well and it would appear that his sense of character is about as dense as his left ab when he takes a punch to the six pack.
Here's the character roll call.
We've got the snotty don't-you-know-who-my-father-is kid.
Pete Buttigieg and his veteran status be damned, this gay teen reinforces any suspicion you might have had that queer folk just don't appreciate the good old freedom they enjoy. He commits the ultimate sin of not acknowledging Logan's military service and the ultimate karmic punishment for his ignorance will come at the hands of an Australian butcher. It'll make sense later. Actually no, it won't.
We've also got the teen couple who commit the sin of giving in to their overactive hormones. You guessed it, they are first to die.
We've got the virginal girl who wants nothing but true love. Yes, she will be taken as a sex slave.
We've also got the non-descript bore boy who we think might just rise to the challenge of hero, but nope, he is destined to contribute to hillbilly head soup.
Logan indulges his Rambohemian urges and employs just about every obligatory method of mayhem you can think of. Prepare for flaming arrows, stealthy knife attacks, even elaborate spike traps that the plot logistically gave him no time to craft.
If you can't appreciate all of the derivative glory this flick has to offer, why not just eat up the scenery? After all, this is yet another movie shot in the lush Eden of hiking trails in the Los Angeles hills. It seems to be a time-honored tradition of low-budget film making to use this area as a shooting location. Everything from black and white classics like I Was a Teenage Werewolf, to Netflix fare like Only Mine, to more sophisticated thrillers like Preservation feature this area of LA county. This is to say nothing of the countless Star Trek episodes that were also filmed there.
The Horde essentially serves as an indulgent showcase of Logan's abilities as a stunt-worthy potential action star. Considering that this simple intention likely served as the basis for the production, the movie is way too ambitious. It's a mishmash of familiar genre elements that is disjointed to say the least. It's as if Logan wrote an action script while the director sought to make a shock-horror, exploitation movie. Is it entertaining? Yes, but it's the straight-to-video equivalent of getting a combo meal at KFC. You enjoy the chicken, the fries and the coleslaw. This would be enough, but you've still got the biscuit and cookie. You look at them thinking, "I probably shouldn't, but I might as well."
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