Old Movies To Avoid (Racist, Super Depressing, Or Just Bad)
Not 'so bad that it's good'; just bad. Trash that you can't enjoy.
Covers the 1910s-1950s.
If you want good old movies, I have lists for those too. You deserve good movies in your life.
Covers the 1910s-1950s.
If you want good old movies, I have lists for those too. You deserve good movies in your life.
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- DirectorRoberto GavaldónStarsPedro ArmendárizJoseph CalleiaRodolfo AcostaLittle Pablito is the 10-year-old son of a cruel horse trainer who's responsible for training a Mexican general's horse to jump for the grand race. The trainer's methods cause the horse to become afraid of jumping and the general orders the animal's death. Pablito runs away with the horse, becoming a fugitive. He travels throughout Mexico encountering several fugitives and a priest who tries to help.One of Disney's extremely boring adventure movies. It's a kid and his horse just kind of walk around, meeting people.
- DirectorHenri-Georges ClouzotStarsSimone SignoretVéra ClouzotPaul MeurisseThe wife and mistress of a loathed school principal plan to murder him with what they believe is the perfect alibi.This is incredibly depressing and disturbing. The man is alarmingly abusive and everyone just accepts that.
- DirectorEdward LudwigStarsYvonne De CarloHoward DuffZachary ScottThe story of a café singer who buys a gambling casino, and the men who fall in love with her.This takes place in the Bahamas, and there's a dance number where a white woman sings a calypso song in broken English to imitate the stereotype of how Bahamanians speak.
SEE INSTEAD: Affair in Trinidad (1952). It stars Hispanic actor Rita Hayworth and doesn't have offensive musical numbers. - DirectorsClyde GeronimiWilfred JacksonHamilton LuskeStarsBarbara LuddyLarry RobertsPeggy LeeThe romantic tale of a sheltered uptown Cocker Spaniel dog and a streetwise downtown Mutt.The couple in this movie is terrible. Lady wants to settle down and have puppies, while Butch likes exploring, getting into mischief, and sleeping with a different dog every night. Lady ends up domesticating his free spirit, which just makes me depressed. Classy woman getting a street-wise guy to settle down was a common plot in live action romance movies of the era, but normally the guy genuinely decides to change his ways. I don't feel like Butch actually changed his mind about his lifestyle.
There's also some problematic things in the movie.
The Russian dog speaks in broken English.
The two Italian guys speak in broken English; and Butch says, "Tony, you know, he's a-not a-speak a-English a-pretty good." Eff you, movie. Eff you.
Even worse, there are two Siamese cats who are racist caricatures of Thai people. They have buck teeth, speak in broken English, and are evil. - DirectorsJoseph M. NewmanJack ArnoldStarsJeff MorrowFaith DomergueRex ReasonAliens come to Earth seeking scientists to help them in their war.Just a boring sci-fi movie.
- DirectorWilliam MorganStarsJean MoorheadBarbara WeeksArt MillanPaula Parkins is the teenage daughter of wealthy parents who can't seem to make time for her, so she looks for thrills as the leader of her all girl-gang who rob and rape young men.A gang of teenage girls rape guys as a hobby. You see them actually gang rape one guy.
The ending is terrible as well. There's a montage of scenes recapping the entire movie that you just saw, and a judge lectures a rapist's parents on parenting.
SEE INSTEAD: Mystery Science Theater 3000 grilling it in S6E10. - DirectorRoger CormanStarsMarie WindsorCarole MathewsBeverly GarlandAn undercover policewoman helps three female convicts escape from prison so that they can lead her to a stash of stolen diamonds hidden in a swamp.(A.K.A Swamp Diamonds A.K.A Cruel Swamp) A lot can be said about the absurdity of this movie, but the ending is especially perplexing. A criminal is ecstatic about being arrested. Not a lot of 50's movies had the budget for color, yet somehow this does. Someone must have owed a guy at Eastmancolor company a favor.
SEE INSTEAD: Mystery Science Theater 3000 grilling it in S5E3. - DirectorRoger CormanStarsJohn IrelandBeverly GarlandAllison HayesAfter her husband is gunned down, Rose Hood takes his place temporarily as Marshal of a small Western town.This movie is bad all around. People hiding behind skinny trees that wouldn't hide a cat, horseback chases along clearly marked trails, car tracks on those trails, etc. However, the movie is too bland to be the funny type of bad. How did it have the budget to be in color??
SEE INSTEAD: Mystery Science Theater 3000 grilling it in S5E11. - DirectorJack PollexfenStarsLon Chaney Jr.Max ShowalterMarian CarrA brutal death row inmate double-crossed by his crooked lawyer gets his chance for revenge when, following his execution, a bizarre experiment brings him back to life and deadlier than ever.There are a lot of things that make this movie bad, but the worst thing is the ending. A cop, who is supposed to be a protagonist, blackmails his girlfriend into marrying him and she agrees because she figures she has no choice. The movie tries to make that seem romantic.
SEE INSTEAD: Mystery Science Theater 3000 grilling it in S4E9. - DirectorCharles MartinStarsGeorge SandersYvonne De CarloZsa Zsa GaborThe New York police investigates the murder of a Czech immigrant whose rags-to-riches story is told by his secretary to homicide detectives.Depressing story of a man who ruins the lives of every woman he's close to, including his mother's, in the name of corporate greed.
- DirectorConnie RasinskiStarConrad RasinskiGood Deed Daly joins his fellow scouts camping near a buffalo-protective reservation. When a villain tries to get away with several of the dwindling herd, Daly comes to the rescue and, with the aid of the other scouts, soon has the villain in hand.This might be mildly racist. Though most of the Mexicans look normal, the villain of the story is grotesque-looking and speaks in broken English. He has a big nose and draws a lot of attention to it to by flicking the side of it as a habit. The hero of the story is a white kid.
- DirectorJack ArnoldStarsGrant WilliamsRandy StuartApril KentAfter Scott Carey begins to shrink because of exposure to a combination of radiation and insecticide, medical science is powerless to help him.It doesn't get any more depressing than this.
- DirectorIngmar BergmanStarsVictor SjöströmBibi AnderssonIngrid ThulinAfter living a life marked by coldness, an aging professor is forced to confront the emptiness of his existence.An elderly man laments being old. Depressing as hell.
- DirectorHoward W. KochStarsMamie Van DorenLori NelsonJohn RussellTwo vagrant sisters work for crooked characters at a rock'n'roll prison-farm.Community service warden tries to rape female inmates.
That said, the tone of the movie is all over the place, so it's also goofy and the funny type of bad.
SEE INSTEAD: Mystery Science Theater 3000 grilling it in S2E12. - DirectorHerbert L. StrockStarsWhit BissellPhyllis CoatesRobert BurtonProfessor Frankenstein creates a hulking teenager from the body of an accident victim; his "creation" awakens and goes on a killing spree.The movie is in black and white but the final scene is in color.
- DirectorReginald Le BorgStarsBoris KarloffBeverly TylerMurvyn VyeA scholarly type is asked to investigate the possible island site for a large resort hotel--an island rumored to be infested with zombies.False advertising, lol. I was promised a Voodoo movie but got a creature feature. Although they call it Voodoo island, it's full of prehistoric carnivorous plants.
- DirectorFred F. SearsStarsJeff MorrowMara CordayMorris AnkrumGlobal panic ensues when it is revealed that a mysterious UFO is actually a giant bird that flies at supersonic speed and has no regard for life or architecture.Just a boring creature feature. And the monster looks so ugly and silly.
- DirectorHal KanterStarsElvis PresleyLizabeth ScottWendell CoreyA talented delivery man's life changes when a publicist and musician spot his potential. As they guide him to stardom, he navigates romantic tensions between a devoted fellow singer and the ambitious publicist promising him success.There's not much of a plot and the ending is too 'happily ever after.'
- DirectorRobert StevensonStarsHal StalmasterLuana PattenJeff YorkJohnny Tremain is drawn into the Revolutionary War, and becomes a patriot fighting to free the colonies from England. Along the way he learns about life and about himself.One of Disney's extremely boring adventure movies. It focuses on the kids but it's the adults who take part in all the action so the kids are pointless.
- DirectorIngmar BergmanStarsMax von SydowGunnar BjörnstrandBengt EkerotA knight returning to Sweden after the Crusades seeks answers about life, death, and the existence of God as he plays chess against the Grim Reaper during the Black Plague.Too depressing. It's just a bunch of people lamenting that they're going to die some day.
- DirectorEdward L. CahnStarsMarla EnglishTom ConwayMike ConnorsDeep in the jungles a mad scientist is using the natives' voodoo for his experiments to create an indestructible being to serve his will. When a party of gold seekers stumbles upon his village, the scientist realizes that Marilyn the expedition's evil leader is the perfect subject for his work.Just a bad monster movie.
- DirectorAllen ReisnerStarsGlynis JohnsCameron MitchellRex ThompsonAn immigrant family in 1850's Wisconsin prospers until tragedy strikes.Everyone dies. The end.
- DirectorOrson WellesStarsCharlton HestonOrson WellesJanet LeighA Mexican official and his American wife are targeted in a Texas border town by the crime family he's trying to put behind bars for drug trafficking, as his concern grows over the tactics of the local detective whose cooperation he needs.Racist movie about a white woman who is afraid that Mexican men are going to rape her. That's the entire plot.
Also, white people play Mexicans.
NOTE: I watched the 1998 director's cut version that's based on Welles's notes about how the movie should be edited. - DirectorRichard E. CunhaStarsJohn AshleySandra KnightDonald MurphyDr. Frankenstein's insane grandson attempts to create horrible monsters in modern-day L.A.Ivy League incel, who's secretly a mad scientist, tries to forcefully kiss community college dames. When they smack him for it, he gets murdery. 'I went through all the trouble of getting into Stanford as a legacy and somehow I'm still a virgin.'
- DirectorLadislao VajdaStarsHeinz RühmannSigfrit SteinerSiegfried LowitzHaving doubts about the guilt of the obvious suspect in the murder of an eight year old girl, a police detective decides to investigate the case on his own.An incel serial killer murders little girls because he knows that adult women would kick his butt.
