Quotes

[To lady cellist playing badly at rehearsal] "Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands - and all you can do is scratch it."

[Describing the harpsichord] "Like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof."

All the arts in America are a gigantic racket run by unscrupulous men for unhealthy women.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

When a horse defecated on stage during a Covent Garden performance of Verdi's "Aida": "A distressing spectacle, to be sure, but, Gad, what a critic!"

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.