I’m not sure what’s worse, sparkling vampires or hipster vampires. Alright, totally kidding, because there’s not a single Twilight comparison throughout Jim Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive, and dammit if Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston aren’t the coolest vampires this side of Brooklyn. I mean, Hiddleston’s character Adam wears sunglasses at night, writes music he never wants heard, and collects vintage guitars no one will ever see – he’s about one patch of ill-advised facial hair and a fedora away from being the King of all who couldn’t care less.

Honestly, what did you expect from a Jarmusch film about vampires? Every horrific aspect is so underplayed, akin to an indie rock band who appear to have begrudgingly taken the stage, but just like how lethargic rockers amass monster crowds by seemingly ignoring them, that’s how Swinton and Hiddleston charm their way into our hearts.