Throughout history, there have been many heterosexuals who have sullied the good name of penis-in-vagina intercourse. There’s Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, Tom Cruise and basically anyone he’s dated at any given time. Yet no heterosexual couple has arguably done so much harm in concert — or more importantly, made us cringe as hard — as Elizabeth Holmes and Sunny Balwani.

As documented by the Hulu series The Dropout, the adaptation of the ABC podcast that chronicles the rise and fall of Holmes’s blood-testing startup Theranos,...