Even the most anti-war artists of the 21st century could bring themselves to violence in extreme circumstances — such as when they saw Woody Allen’s stupid, smarmy, unpunched face.

Nowadays, it would be neither newsworthy nor noteworthy for anyone with convictions to say that they wish they could give comedy filmmaking legend and accused child molester Woody Allen a smack that would make his head spin faster than ours did when Allen became his own father-in-law. Allen’s filmmaking career continued on mostly unimpeded after he left his romantic partner Mia Farrow for her 21-year-old adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn in 1992, but the court of public opinion has somewhat soured on the Annie Hall star and director in the decades since, especially after Allen’s biological daughter Dylan accused him of sexual assault.

But long before film fans everywhere and Allen’s own family hated his guts, Bob Dylan hated Allen...