I love the Final Destination movies. As someone with generalized anxiety, they’re borderline cathartic. Watching a sink disposal get turned on by accident and making paella of someone’s arm? Makes me want to stand up in the theater and yell, “See? See?!?!” It’s like one of those Instagram Reels of a cool marble maze, but with arterial spray. A snuff film directed by Rube Goldberg.

I think that most people who enjoy them would also argue they’re definitely a form of black humor. I know that we’re not supposed to say someone getting their head cut off by a decorative suit of armor is funny anymore because of woke, but I’m paying $16.50 and buying popcorn every time. The marketing team for the new Final Destination: Bloodlines clearly got the message, and have been cranking out some top-notch stunts to promote the newest installment.