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At the age of 60, Victor Meldrew is retired from his job as a security guard to be replaced by a box and a recorded message.

The Meldrews receive a bad luck charm from Mr Swainey.

Margaret collapses from nervous exhaustion which has been building up for the past 35 years.

Victor writes a script for a new situation comedy, but nobody else finds it very funny. Margaret also catches dramatic fever.

Mrs Warboys recounts the murderous tale of a recurring dream had by Margaret.

The Meldrews make an effort to get on with their pleasant new neighbors; Victor buys a haunted caravan and accidentally kidnaps the mother of an Indian millionaire.

Victor hires an attractive cleaner to help around the house and inadvertently gets Mrs. Warboys tattooed. Meanwhile, a large plastic fly is delivered, and something's going on at the local takeaway.

The Meldrews, Mrs. Warboys, and Mr. Swainey take a trip to the countryside.

Pippa and Margaret send their husbands to an Armenian restaurant to try to work things out; instead they have a harrowing experience that makes things worse.

Victor gets trapped in his shed for three hours thanks to a swarm of belligerent bees, has a prolonged sojourn at the optician's, then must babysit Iris's unruly kids.

The Meldrews return from their holiday to find that their baggage has been sent to the other side of the world - but as they soon learn that is the least of their problems.

The Meldrews are on holiday, staying with their old friends Vince and April in their seaside boarding house.

To relieve the boredom after their TV set is stolen, Margaret and Victor head to the local pub.

The Meldrews and Mrs. Warboys embark upon a hellish holiday to Portugal. After an entanglement with the police, they finally arrive at their unpleasant villa.

Mrs. Warboys stays with the Meldrews while her flat dries out after a flood. Victor tries reflexology and has a run-in with a chimney sweep.

In their solicitor's waiting room, Victor and Margaret muse about life and observe the other visitors' bizarre habits.

The Meldrews find a man living in their shed; he turns out to be a drug-dealer. Victor takes a gardening job, working for Patrick's new boss and dealing with very effective herbicide.

Victor has a health scare and the Meldrews try to get their new car's obscene number plates changed.

Local greengrocer Millicent takes a fancy to Victor and attempts to lure him to her house when he misses a football match.

Margaret and Victor get stuck in the Bank Holiday traffic.

Victor's cousin Geoffrey, who had also just taken early retirement at 60, dies; the Meldrews' local keep-fit class takes a deadly turn.

Victor's brother visits all the way from New Zealand.

A visit from Patrick's gay twin brother leaves Pippa mentally and physically exhausted, especially when Patrick sits on a cork.

Margaret is horrified when she discovers Victor has been drawing a naked woman in his art class and giving her lifts home.

Victor has a new job as a window-cleaner. Meanwhile, Patrick's plans for a quiet birthday are ruined after an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a modern art painting; and Pippa finds herself in an adulterous affair.