Larry Fine credited as playing...
Dr. Larry Fine
- Dr. Graves: How did you find that patient in room 67?
- Dr. Moe Howard: Under the bed!
- Dr. Graves: How did you find that patient in room 73?
- Dr. Larry Fine: Up on the chandelier.
- Dr. Graves: What did you do for him?
- Dr. Curly Howard: Nothing! What'd he ever do for us?
- Hiccupping Nurse: Oh, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard! Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?
- Dr. Moe Howard: Yes, that's true.
- Hiccupping Nurse: Well, then, why don't the patients eat an apple a day and save hospital expenses?
- Dr. Curly Howard: Pardon me if I laugh. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! That's a pippin!
- Hiccupping Nurse: Oh, I know what a pippin is.
- Dr. Larry Fine: You do, eh? What's a pippin?
- Hiccupping Nurse: Uh, a pippin is an apple with a skin on the outside.
- Dr. Moe Howard: Did you ever see an apple with a skin on the inside?
- Hiccupping Nurse: Oh, sure I did.
- Dr. Larry Fine: You did?
- Hiccupping Nurse: Uh-huh.
- Dr. Larry Fine: Where?
- Hiccupping Nurse: In homemade apple pie.
- Dr. Larry Fine: [Holding a knife in the operating room] Wait a minute. Let's plug him, and see if he's ripe.
- Dr. Larry Fine: Doctor! We're mighty proud of you. You've done a wonderful thing for humanity. And when we leave here, we're going right down to the president's office and...
- Dr. Curly Howard: We won't say a word about it.
- [Larry bonks Moe with his mallet, who then turns and slaps Curly]
- Dr. Moe Howard: What's the matter? What are you buttin' in for?
- PA announcer: [Closing lines: After the Stooges tear the loudspeaker apart and shoot the still-working part] Oy, you got me!
- Dr. Moe Howard, Dr. Curly Howard, Dr. Larry Fine: For duty and humanity!
- Dr. Moe Howard: We'll make an incision like this.
- [he draws a line on Dr. Graves]
- Dr. Curly Howard: No, we'll make an insertion like that.
- [he draws another line]
- Dr. Larry Fine: No, we should make an excursion like this.
- [he draws two lines; Moe draws an "X" in one box, Curly an "O" in another, and Larry an "X" in a third]
- Dr. Moe Howard: [fighting over the last play] Tic tac toe!
- PA announcer: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.
- Dr. Moe Howard: What is it?
- PA announcer: There is a messenger boy down in the lobby to see you.
- Dr. Larry Fine: Send him up.
- Western Union Messenger: Here I am.
- Dr. Curly Howard: What service!
- Dr. Curly Howard: Give us the message.
- Western Union Messenger: Can't. 75 cents, collect.
- Dr. Moe Howard: Who's it from?
- Western Union Messenger: It's from a dame by the name of Nellie.
- Dr. Curly Howard, Dr. Larry Fine, Dr. Moe Howard: My girl!
- [Moe slaps the other two]
- Western Union Messenger: How's about my money?
- Dr. Moe Howard: I'll tell ya: we'll toss for it; pay you double or nothing.
- Dr. Larry Fine: [indicating Curly] Yeah, he'll call it 'cause he's tongue-tied.
- Western Union Messenger: That'll make it easier.
- Dr. Larry Fine: Um... hey, you got a coin?
- Western Union Messenger: Yeah.
- Dr. Larry Fine: [accepting the large coin] That'll really make it easier.
- [flipping it]
- Dr. Larry Fine: What is, head or tail?
- [Curly lets out an untelligble moan]
- Western Union Messenger: What?
- [Curly lets out another moan]
- Dr. Larry Fine: [showing him the result] Is that it?
- Dr. Curly Howard: Soitenly!
- Dr. Larry Fine: [to the messenger] Oh, then you lose.
- [leaving with the others]
- Dr. Larry Fine: We'll split this three ways.
- Doctor with 'Tiny Patient': What do you gentlemen know about medicine?
- Dr. Larry Fine: Why, we graduated with the highest temperatures in our class!
- Doctor with 'Tiny Patient': [scoffing] Some class.
- Dr. Curly Howard: [with exaggerated attitude] You said it, kid. Some class.
- Dr. Moe Howard: [thumping him in the stomach, then in the head as he bends over] What are you trying to do?
- Dr. Moe Howard: [taking a patient's temperature] Anna Conda, 95 1/8th.
- Dr. Larry Fine: [writing on a chalkboard] Anna Conda, 95 1/8th.
- Anna Conda: That's awfully low, Doctor.
- Dr. Moe Howard: Yeah, we ought to sell.
- Dr. Graves: My dear doctors, it is indeed a pleasure to welcome you here for the beginning of your practice. This letter states that in this group, there are three of you who are not overly bright, but you graduated 'cause you had been in the senior class too many years. Your identity I shall keep secret, and will disclose to no one on one condition: that you try hard, and forever devote your lives to the glorious cause of duty and humanity.
- Dr. Moe Howard, Dr. Curly Howard, Dr. Larry Fine: [pushing their way to the front] We will!