Van Johnson credited as playing...
Bill Stevens Chandler
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: You're too modest. Why, you're a woman of great depths, depths that have never been plumbed.
- Gladys Benton: [referring to her boyfriend] No, Warren's not much of a plumber.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: [referring to the sham wedding just performed] How much do I owe you?
- Mr. H.O. Dibson - Justice of the Peace: Well, anything you think it's worth.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: [Handing the Justice money] There's two dollars.
- [Gladys looks outraged, then disgusted]
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Now, here's the plan. The Allenburys are in Mexico City. I'll take a plane down there, register at the same hotel, meet the girl. Perhaps she comes to my room.
- Warren Haggerty: What?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Just for a cocktail, of course. All perfectly innocent to her, to me, to everybody at the hotel - except to our private detective who wires my wife.
- Warren Haggerty: You got a wife?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Well, not of my own, but we'll hire some attractive girl to marry me.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I know all about he: spoiled, arrogant, engaged to a different guy every month. The crown princess of Café Society. That's her reputation. And she thinks it's worth 2 million? When I get through, she'll take 2 cents - in Japanese money.
- Spike Dolan: That Allenbury girl is as pretty as a picture and I accentuate - the positive.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Yeah and that's the little picture we're gonna frame.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Not bad.
- Warren Haggerty: Not bad at all.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Nice legs.
- Warren Haggerty: You keep her legs out of it.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: They come with her, don't they?
- Gladys Benton: [to Warren] I've taken plenty from you but this is the end. Marrying me off to another guy, to this blond baboon.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Baboons are very smart. They can do anything a man can do.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I thought I was rather clever.
- Connie Allenbury: Yes, I thought you thought so.
- J.B. Allenbury: Yes, Muscovys have their points, but give me a Canadian honker. I know, my boy. I have a hunting lodge up in Canada and...
- Connie Allenbury: Father, shall we say duck?
- J.B. Allenbury: Duck.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Duck.
- Connie Allenbury: Duck.
- Headwaiter: Duck.
- Connie Allenbury: You're very much at home on the dance floor, aren't you?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: When I have a partner like you, yes. You're as light as thistledown.
- Connie Allenbury: Deceiving things, thistles. They're really quite prickly.
- Connie Allenbury: Mrs. Burns Norvell and her daughter, Barbara.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: How do you do?
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Babs, to you.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I do hope you have daiquiri cocktails. They're my *favorite*.
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I only have champagne cocktails.
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Oh, well, that's my *new* favorite.
- Connie Allenbury: Live and learn, says I, Connie, my pet. Next time, don't bet on men.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Don't apologize for suspecting people, Connie. Keep right on. Ring every coin you meet. There are lots of wooden nickels in circulation.
- Connie Allenbury: I'm a very remarkable girl.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I'm beginning to think you're right.
- Connie Allenbury: There are many sides to my nature, young man. Depths you little dream of.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I'll make a study.
- Connie Allenbury: Do.
- Gladys Benton: Pour me another glass of bubbly.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Quote, "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble," unquote. Macbeth.
- Gladys Benton: My grandfather's name was MacSweeney.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Oh, what's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
- Gladys Benton: That's my grandmother.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Who?
- Gladys Benton: Rose. Rose MacSweeney.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Oh, well, let's drink to the old girl.
- Gladys Benton: Let's just drink, period.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Come, my fair Ophelia. Let us down the sweet draught of Bacchus.
- Gladys Benton: What's that?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: That's Shakespeare for "bottoms up."
- Warren Haggerty: What do you think I was gonna pay you $50,000 for, to make love to my girl?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: If the necessity arose, yes.
- Gladys Benton: I don't wanna play Ophelia. I wanna play Hamlet.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Why?
- Gladys Benton: Because Hamlet wears tights and I'm terrific in tights. Did you ever see me in tights? I'm pretty.