Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
Luana Patten: Luana
Photos
Quotes
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Willie the Giant : [lifts the roof off of Edgar Bergen's house] Hey, has anybody seen anything of a teensy-weensy, little mouse?
Edgar Bergen : No, I-I-I...
[faints]
Luana Patten : Oh, Mr. Bergen!
Charlie McCarthy : Bergen, speak to me! Speak to me!
Willie the Giant : What's the matter with him? Something he ate?
Mortimer Snerd : No, it's uh, it's a fig... fig... figmentation of his imagination.
Willie the Giant : No!
Mortimer Snerd : Yeah. Well, good night, Willie. Don't slam the roof. You might wake Mr. Bergen.
[laughs]
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Luana Patten : But why did the giant want to steal the harp?
Edgar Bergen : Because he was cruel and selfish. He didn't care what happened to the valley. He just wanted someone to sing him to sleep.
Mortimer Snerd : Well, why didn't he turn on the radio?
Edgar Bergen : Well, they didn't have radios in those days.
Charlie McCarthy : Yeah. That's why they called it Happy Valley.
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Edgar Bergen : Well, what shall we do now? Any suggestions?
Charlie McCarthy : How would you like to go down to the city dump and watch me slug rats?
Edgar Bergen : Certainly not. How would you like to hear me tell a story?
Luana Patten : Oh, I'd love it. Wouldn't you, Charlie?
Charlie McCarthy : Well, I, uh... no.
Edgar Bergen : This is a story that everyone should know.
Charlie McCarthy : Yes, but not everyone should tell it, and you know who.
Edgar Bergen : I'm going to tell it anyway. Now, many, many years ago...
Charlie McCarthy : I think I'll go out and wind the sundial.
[tries to get up and leave, but Bergen stops him]
Edgar Bergen : You'll stay right here.
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Edgar Bergen : Now, Luana, how would you like another piece of cake or some ice cream?
Luana Patten : No, thank you. I'm full up.
Edgar Bergen : Some candy?
Charlie McCarthy : Care for a cigar?
Luana Patten : Me?
[everyone laughs]
Edgar Bergen : How about you, Mortimer?
Mortimer Snerd : Uh... I don't smoke.
Edgar Bergen : I don't mean that.
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Charlie McCarthy : Well, Donald may be nuts, but he's got the right idea. Kill the cow.
Luana Patten : Oh, no, Charlie! The cow was their best friend.
Charlie McCarthy : Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Edgar Bergen : So what?
Charlie McCarthy : So, they need some steak.
Mortimer Snerd : No! If you're gonna kill the cow, I don't wanna hear the rest of the story!
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[Willie is sniffing around his table while Mickey and the others are trying to avoid getting caught]
Charlie McCarthy : Hey, giant! You're getting warm!
Mortimer Snerd : Well, don't tell him!
Charlie McCarthy : Behind the jar, stupid!
Luana Patten : Charlie!
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Luana Patten : What happened to all the people?
Edgar Bergen : Well, suppose we look in on these humble peasants.
Mortimer Snerd : Is that a peasant?
Charlie McCarthy : That's a cow, stupid.
Luana Patten : Well, at least they had milk.
Edgar Bergen : Well, she used to be a good milker, but now...
Charlie McCarthy : She's an udder failure.
Edgar Bergen : She was the bosom friend of a once proud family.
Charlie McCarthy : Well, they're certainly out of the high rent district.
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Luana Patten : What did the giant look like?
Edgar Bergen : Well, he was, oh... I'll try and show you.
[He turns on a lamp and aims it at the wall]
Edgar Bergen : He looked something like this.
[Makes a shadow puppet of a pig]
Mortimer Snerd : Looks like my pig, Snedly.
Charlie McCarthy : Never mind the self-portraits.
Edgar Bergen : Well, no, that isn't right. He looked more like... More like this.
[Makes shadow puppet of Willie the Giant]
Edgar Bergen : There he is now. And the giant came home for dinner, roaring...
Charlie McCarthy : [Steps in front of spotlight] ... drunk.
Edgar Bergen : [as Willie] I was not!
Edgar Bergen : [Normal] I mean, he was not.
Edgar Bergen : [as Willie] No.
Edgar Bergen : Down the castle hall he came, roaring..."Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!"
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Luana Patten : Isn't that a wonderful trick?
Charlie McCarthy : Yes, indeed. Yes. I wish I could enjoy my first childhood as much as he enjoys his second.
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Mickey Mouse : How'd you get here?
Singing Harp : I was kidnapped by that wicked giant!
Mickey Mouse : Oh. What? A giant?
Mortimer Snerd : A giant?
Luana Patten : A giant?
Jiminy Cricket : A giant?
Edgar Bergen : Bigger than forty men!
Mortimer Snerd : Oh, no!
Edgar Bergen : An ogre who had the power to turn himself into anything, man or beast!
Jiminy Cricket : That calls for a drink!
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Ophelia : Well, good night, Luana.
Luana Patten : Good night, Ophelia.
Ophelia : Bonne nuit, Mortimer.
Mortimer Snerd : Uh... ma'am?
Ophelia : Bonne nuit.
Mortimer Snerd : Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. Bunny. Uh bunny, bunny wee, bunny wee. Bun-Uh... uh, I don't know no bunny wee.
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Charlie McCarthy : Well, she wouldn't have to know. They could sneak up on her hand surprise her. Yes, that's what we'll do. We'll kill the cow.
Luana Patten : Oh no, Charlie! You mustn't!
Charlie McCarthy : Yeah, we'll get a stranglehold on her while she's asleep and then push her off a cliff!
Luana Patten : Oh no!
Mortimer Snerd : I ain't gonna listen to the story!
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Luana Patten : Ooh, dragonflies!
Charlie McCarthy : Yeah. A-flyin' front and draggin' behind.
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Edgar Bergen : Poor Mickey. Cheated into trading his cow for a handful of beans. What a mean trick. Swindling an innocent farmer out of all he owned and lying to him telling him that the beans were magic. Planted in the light of a full moon. Ashamed to decieve a simple little peasant. Magic beans indeed. Light of a...
Charlie McCarthy : Bergen! Bergen!
Luana Patten : There's something moving!
Edgar Bergen : Why, yes. Well, maybe there is some magic in them. Well, let's all keep quiet and see what happens.