Marjorie Main credited as playing...
Ma Kettle
- Elizabeth Parker: You know, Ma, I bet you once had an hourglass figure.
- Ma Kettle: Yeah, but the sand sure shifted.
- Pa Kettle: Income tax? What's that?
- Billy Reed: Well, income tax supports the government.
- Ma Kettle: You mean, Pa and me's got to support all our kids and the government too?
- Billy Reed: [Reading a contract] "This agreement entered into this 20th day of July, year of 1950, between Pa Kettle, party of the first part, Ma Kettle, party of the second part, and Billy Reed, Geoduck, and Crowbar, parties of the third part, fourth part, and fifth part. The aforesaid parties of the first part and second part agrees to part with part of their part to the parties of the third part, fourth part, and fifth part. It is also agreed that all parties are to do their part to keep the agreement made between the parties of the first part, second part, third part, fourth part, and fifth part." That's only the agreement in part.
- Ma Kettle: You got enough parts there to make an automobile, and have some left over.
- Billy Reed: [Continues reading] "Now, should the first party and second party become a party to anything not agreeable to the third party, fourth party, and fifth party, the first party and second party shall be liable to the third party, the fourth party, and the fifth party."
- Pa Kettle: Hold on Billy. That's enough. I've had too many parties already.
- Billy Reed: Of course, that's just a rough draft.
- Ma Kettle: When you get it smoothed out, we won't understand it any better.
- Elizabeth Parker: What name have you decided to give the child?
- Kim Parker Kettle: Well, we sort of thought we'd name him after his father.
- Elizabeth Parker: Thomas? Oh, but, my dear, Thomas is such an ordinary name, it has no... no character, no color.
- Ma Kettle: Thomas Jefferson's name was Thomas!
- Ma Kettle: [about Elizabeth's choice of name for Tom's child] I bet she hangs around until after the christening to make sure the baby gets the name she wants.
- Tom Kettle: What name does she want?
- Ma Kettle: Jonathan.
- Tom Kettle: But Kim and I had sort of decided on Thomas?
- Ma Kettle: Well, she's decided different. She says, "Thomas is too ordinary, it has no character, no color."