- [During an "I Love Lucy" skit, Lucy has smothered Ricky with kisses]
- Ricky: The last time you kissed me like that, you wrecked the car, the insurance company cancelled my insurance on everything, and you did my laundry in the whiring mixer!
- Ricky: Why are you fumigating the place? That's the landlord's job!
- Lucy: Well, Fred and Ethel are away. I'd just thought I'd help.
- Ricky: Oh, you're always helping, like when we went on our honeymoon. You thought we'd be lonesome, so you invited your mother to come along!
- Lucy: Well, I was just trying to help!
- Ricky: Who were you helping, your father?