Jonathan Haze credited as playing...
Seymour Krelborn
- [Seymour walks into the shop holding a bag with Dr. Farb's corpse in it]
- Audrey Jr.: Feed me!
- Seymour: Aw, take it easy, Dracula. What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?
- Leonora Clyde: Speak for yourself, John.
- [Seymour snaps out of his trance]
- Seymour: My name is Seymour.
- Leonora Clyde: [mockingly] My name is Seymour!
- Seymour: That's my name, too!
- [Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient]
- Wilbur Force: My name is Wilbur Force.
- Seymour: Wilbur Force what?
- Wilbur Force: Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.
- Seymour: Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?
- Wilbur Force: No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
- Seymour: Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.
- Wilbur Force: Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!
- Seymour: Well I can't help you today.
- Wilbur Force: Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.
- Seymour: I didn't mean it.
- Mushnick: You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean it the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it. But this time, I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!
- Fouch: [to Seymour] He means it.
- [a patient has just ran out of Farb's office screaming]
- Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, Seymour, got a bad tooth, huh?
- Seymour: [frightened; turns around to leave] No, I thought this was the men's room.
- Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, come back here, you bad dog, you, get in there!
- [Farb grabs Seymour and pushes him into his office]
- Leonora Clyde: What's the matter? Don't you like me?
- Seymour: Too bony.
- Leonora Clyde: Too bony? Nobody's ever told me that before.
- Seymour: Beef is better than veal.
- [she stands up]
- Leonora Clyde: You're such a do-do! What do you call this, chopped liver?
- [he pokes her side]
- Seymour: Master would like more fat.
- Wilbur Force: I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere, wouldn't you?
- Seymour: Yeah.
- Wilbur Force: Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.