Ann-Margret credited as playing...
Kim McAfee
- Harry McAfee: Me? On Ed Sullivan?
- Doris McAfee: Oh, I'd die! What would I wear?
- Harry McAfee: Gee, Ed Sullivan. He's my favorite human. That's why I decided to let Kim go on in the first place. Me? On the Ed Sullivan Show?
- [singing]
- Harry McAfee: Ed Sullivan.
- [speaking]
- Harry McAfee: Me, Harry McAfee appearing with
- [singing]
- Harry McAfee: Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee: [singing] Ed. Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee: Ed. Ed Sullivan.
- Randolph MacAfee: Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: Ed. Ed. Sull. Sull. Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan. We're gonna be on, Ed Sullivan.
- Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee: How could any family be, Half as fortunate as we.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: We'll be coast to coast, With out favorite host, Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan! Ed Sullivan! We're gonna be on Ed Sullivan!
- Harry McAfee: [speaking] I've got a wonderful wife, two swell kids, a good business, and now this.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: [singing] Someday we'll recall, The greatest day of all!
- Harry McAfee: [speaking] Ed, I love you.
- Harry McAfee, Doris McAfee, Kim McAfee, Randolph MacAfee: [singing] Ed Sullivan!
- [after Kim has dyed her hair]
- Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
- Kim McAfee: Well, it's my hair.
- Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21!
- Kim McAfee: Harry, do you have a cigarette? I've run out.
- Harry McAfee: So have I, how 'bout my pipe?
- Kim McAfee: [singing] Bye bye Birdie / I'm gonna miss ya so / Bye bye Birdie / Why'd ya have to go? / No more sunshine / It's followed you away / I'll cry 'Birdie' / Till you're home to stay / I'll miss the way you smile, as though it's just for me / and each and every night, I'll write you faithfully / Bye bye Birdie / It's awful hard to bare / Bye bye Birdie / Yes I'll always care / Yes I'll always care / Yes I'll always care
- Kim McAfee: And now I'm alive! Fulfilled. Now I know what it means to be a woman.
- Ursula: It should only happen to me. Kim, where did he pin you?
- Kim McAfee: On the backseat. Oh, bless that lovely yellow school bus.
- Kim McAfee: Doris? - Mother. - Mommy! - Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Conrad Birdie's coming over to kiss me!
- Doris McAfee: Oh, isn't that nice.
- Kim McAfee: You don't understand! Conrad Birdie's coming to Sweet Apple to kiss me! Oh, Mommy! Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Doris McAfee: I never thought I'd say it, but - God bless Conrad Birdie!
- Ursula: Before you hear from the girl upon whom you have chosen to bestow your final kiss upon, we will now recite the Conrad Birdie pledge.
- Ursula, Kim McAfee, Girls of Sweet Apple: I, being of sound mind and body, do hereby promise, to be loyal, courteous, steadfast and true, to Conrad Birdie and the United States of America, both indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Yeah!
- Ursula: Kim! Where is he? Can I see him?
- Kim McAfee: Conrad's asleep, poor dear. You may peek through his keyhole whi - while I discuss this tempest in a tea bag with Hugo.
- Kim McAfee: [singing] One boy, One certain boy, One boy to laugh with, To joke with, have Coke with...
- Kim McAfee: How do you like it? Isn't it exciting?
- Doris McAfee: No! No! No! I told you not to dye your hair!
- Kim McAfee: Oh, but I wanted to! Isn't it a gas?
- Harry McAfee: You dare defy your mother?
- Kim McAfee: But it's my hair.
- Harry McAfee: Not till you're 21.
- Rose DeLeon: Men. They're only out to use us, Kim.
- Kim McAfee: I know. Hugo's used me since we were freshman.
- Rose DeLeon: All those years I wasted on Albert. Rosie the dependable one, Rosie the patient one. Rosie the good girl. I know it sounds old-tashioned, but I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm still a good girl.
- Kim McAfee: Rose?
- Rose DeLeon: Hmm?
- Kim McAfee: So am I.
- Rose DeLeon: No kidding?
- Kim McAfee: [singing] Hallelujah, you are 16, and the braces disappear, And your skin is smooth and clear, And you have that happy grown-up, Female feeling. How lovely to be a woman, The wait was well worthwhile, How lovely to wear mascara, And smile a woman's smile, How lovely to have a figure, That's round instead of flat! Whenever you hear boys whistle, You're what they're whistling at. It's wonderful to feel, The way a woman feels, It gives you such a glow, just to know, You're wearing lipstick and heels, How lovely to be a woman...
- Kim McAfee: [singing] I'm a-gonna have fun, Gonna be wild, Have my own way, I may break, A heart a day, Drink champagne, As if it were water...