Peter O'Toole credited as playing...
Michael James
- Michael James: Did you find a job?
- Victor Skakapopulis: Yeah, I got something at the striptease. I help the girls dress and undress.
- Michael James: Nice job.
- Victor Skakapopulis: Twenty francs a week.
- Michael James: Not very much.
- Victor Skakapopulis: It's all I can afford.
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I, uh, decided to follow you here.
- Michael James: If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I followed you... very fast.
- Liz Bien: You're right. I must face my problems. I can't go through life being a semi-virgin.
- Michael James: What, in the name of all that is gracious, is a semi-virgin?
- Liz Bien: Here, I'm a virgin. In America, I'm not.
- Michael James: What do they do, stamp it on your passport?
- Doctor: [Liz Bien, the stripper, has just made her second suicide attempt while in Michael's company. The same ER doctor has responded] You wouldn't happen to be the young lady's fiancee, would you?
- Michael James: No, just a friend.
- Doctor: Pretty rough friendship you've got there.
- Carole Werner: We're married thirty seconds and already you look at other women.
- Michael James: I had to look at her, she was talking to me, I looked in the direction the sound was coming from.
- [James is drunk and Carole has taken his car keys]
- Michael James: Give me the key.
- Carole Werner: No. Take a cab.
- Michael James: I don't wish to take a key, I want my car cabs!
- Michael James: Can you imagine what it feels like to be in close contact every day with the worid's most gorgeous women? And what can I do? I can't say no. And why should I say no? I love it, do you hear? I love every second of it. That's how it's always been with me. A little pleasure, a little pain, but always back to the ladies.
- Michael James: Look, I know you'll think this is crazy, but, er, when the light hits me from a certain direction, I'm... handsome
- [swigs from bottle]
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I think that, with you, sex is a sport, ya?
- Michael James: Oh, yes. I love the the smell of perfume and the thrill of the chase and the moment of conquest.
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I like thighs. Do you like thighs?
- Liz Bien: How'd you like my poems?
- Michael James: I think they're very beautiful and quite moving.
- Liz Bien: Did you like the one about peaceful coexistence, 'Ode To A Pacifist Junkie'?
- Michael James: Yes. I thought it was very sexy.
- Michael James: You must not attack her. You must woo her.
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Woo her?
- Michael James: Woo her.
- Dream Girl #1: Michael, remember me? You loved me in your office.
- Michael James: Indeed I do.
- Dream Girl #2: Remember the night in the hospital bed?
- Michael James: Unforgettable.
- Dream Girl #3: My mother's crypt.
- Michael James: Oh, poor mummy.
- Dream Girl #4: On top of the Eiffel Tower.
- Michael James: Very chilly.
- Liz Bien: Would you excuse me for a minute? I'm going into the bathroom to take an overdose of sleeping pills.
- Michael James: I like you. You're a nice stable girl.
- Dr. Fritz Fassbender: When did all this come to an end?
- Michael James: It didn't come to an end! That's the point.
- Man In Strip Club: [Richard Burton in cameo appearance] Excuse me, haven't *you* seen *me* somewhere before?
- Michael James: I know the name, but I can't remember the face.