Ian Davidson credited as playing...
Brain Surgeon • Chief Commissioner of Police • Chief Constable Fire • Clerk of the Court • Colin • Doctor • Edgar Hamilton • Fritz • Herman Rodriguez • Priest • RSPCA Man • Sixth Writer
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: [Inspector Tiger has been murdered] This house is surrounded. I must ask that no-one leave the room. I'm Chief Superintendent Lookout.
- Lady Velloper: Lookout?
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: [jumps] What, where? Oh, me, Lookout. Lookout of the Yard.
- Lady Velloper: Why, what would we see?
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: I'm sorry?
- Lady Velloper: What would we see if we look out of the yard?
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: ...I'm afraid I don't follow that at all. Aha. The body. So the murderer must be somebody in this room. Unless he had very long arms. Say thirty or forty feet. I think we can discount that one.
- [starts laughing]
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: Lookout of the Yard! Very good. Right, now we'll reconstruct the crime. I'll sit down here. Constable, you turn off the lights.
- [lights out]
- Chief Superintendent Lookout: Good. Now then, there was a scream, aaahhhhhhhhhh! Then just before the lights went up, there was a shot.
- [a shot, lights on. Lookout has an arrow through his neck, poison in his lap, and bullet in his head]
- Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer: All right... all right, the house is surrounded and nobody leave the room and all the rest of it. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Assistnat Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer.
- All: Theresamanbehindyer?
- Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer: Ah, you're not going to catch me with an old one like that. Right, let's reconstruct the crime. Constable, you be Inspector Tiger.
- Policeman: Right, sir. Nobody leave the room ask shall. Somebody I leave nobody in the room body shall. Take the tablets Tigerbody.
- [clapping from the others]
- Policeman: Alself me to myduce introlow left body in the roomself.
- Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer: Good, very good. Just sit down there. Right, now we'll pretend the lights have gone out. Constable, you scream.
- [constable screams]
- Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer: Somebody shoots you...
- [shoots constable point-blank]
- Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer: and the door opens...
- Chief Constable Fire: Nobody move. I'm Chief Constable Fire.
- All: Fire?
- Chief Constable Fire: [jumps] Where? Where?