Benny Hill credited as playing...
Professor Simon Peach
- Charlie Croker: Wait till you see them Italian birds.
- Professor Simon Peach: Are they big? I like them big.
- 'Camp' Freddie: They're enormous.
- Professor Simon Peach: Really?
- 'Camp' Freddie: Very, very, very big.
- Charlie Croker: Professor Peach, do you see what I'm getting at?
- Professor Simon Peach: Your brawn, my brain. I'm not stupid, you know.
- Professor Simon Peach: Would we, eh, wear stockings over our heads?
- Charlie Croker: Oh, no need for you to.
- Professor Simon Peach: Oh. I'd like that. I could steal one of Matron's, couldn't I?
- Professor Simon Peach: I wouldn't want to get Matron into trouble. Not that way, anyway! She's big. Big!
- Professor Simon Peach: The flagpole in the yard. I mean, I know, if there was a convex mirror up there, 27 degrees vertical, 42 degrees horizontal, I could see straight into Matron's bedroom! Of course, somebody else would have to be up the pole to fix it. I couldn't do it me self. It's cooperation, you see? She's a big woman, you know.