Julie Andrews credited as playing...
Lili Smith
- Lili Smith: But then, why *does* he drink?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Because he's afraid to fly.
- Lili Smith: Then why does he fly?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Because he likes to drink!
- Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: My grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian.
- Lili Smith: How exciting.
- Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: It was for my granddaddy.
- Lili Smith: The filthy, scheming, cheating, faking, lying, egotistic, self-indulgent, hedonistic, son of a...
- [door slam]
- Maj. William Larrabee: I thought we'd go on a picnic.
- Lili Smith: At 3:00 in the morning?
- Maj. William Larrabee: It's the best time. No ants.
- Maj. William Larrabee: The lives of hundreds, *thousands* of men depend upon Operation Crêpes Suzette being kept a secret. So what in the name of hellish vanity makes you'd think I'd compromise that in the name of your adolescent, narcissistic ego?
- Lili Smith: *My* ego?
- Lili Smith: [singing] So walk me back home, my darling, Tell me dreams really come true, Whistling, whistling here in the dark with you...
- Lili Smith: [kiss] Would it be indiscreet to say that I missed you?
- Maj. William Larrabee: No.
- Lili Smith: To say that I missed you terribly?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Not quite.
- Lili Smith: Desperately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Possibly.
- Lili Smith: Passionately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Definitely.
- Lili Smith: Would you settle for desperately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I'll settle for passionately.
- Lili Smith: Ohhh. What about my reputation?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I'll risk it.
- Lili Smith: I have champagne, caviar, marinated truffles, brilliant foie gras, and half a dozen assorted Hungarian gypsies.
- Lili Smith: Sounds delicious.
- Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: I'm a little drunk, but there's somethin' I just gotta say. Ma'am, you are an inspiration.
- Lili Smith: Thank you.
- Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: I heard you sing in London and you sang:
- [singing]
- Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: It's a long way to Sipperary...
- Colonel Kurt Von Ruger: The information you've extracted from Major Larrabee has greatly exceeded our expectations and, uh, should the need for - more persuasive measures arise, I'm sure that you'll be up to it.
- Lili Smith: Um, yes. But, will Major Larrabee?
- Lili Smith: [long kiss] What was all that talk about top secret missions and Crêpes Suzette?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Just talk. You know, I think you're some kind of a spy.
- Lili Smith: If I told you I was?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I know lots of military secrets.
- Lili Smith: Goood.
- [kiss]
- Lili Smith: Back in a minute to pry them out of you.
- Lili Smith: I want whatever happens this weekend to be honest.
- Maj. William Larrabee: Well, since I have nothing to gain by lying to you: I think you're the most provocative, exciting, and most desirable woman I've ever met.
- Lili Smith: I'll buy that.
- Lili Smith: You've got to admit, seduction can really be very funny, if you stop to think about it.
- Maj. William Larrabee: But you aren't supposed to stop to think about it.
- Lili Smith: Get out of here!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Not until we settle this.
- Lili Smith: We have nothing to settle!
- Maj. William Larrabee: To hell there isn't!
- Lili Smith: Go settle it with Suzette!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Suzette, my foot.
- Lili Smith: Suzette, my crêpes. Get out of my shower! What are you doing? Ahh! Ahh!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Now, let's have it!
- Maj. William Larrabee: [standing clothed in a shower, Lili wrapped in a towel] I think maybe you have to come up with excuses just to avoid the moment of truth.
- Lili Smith: What?
- Maj. William Larrabee: In a word, Miss Smith, I think it's just possible that you're a virgin.
- Lili Smith: Oh!
- [slaps Bill, he grabs her, kisses her, she drops her towel]
- Lili Smith: Bill...
- Maj. William Larrabee: Yeah?
- Lili Smith: Turn on the warm water.
- [Bill turns it on]
- Lili Smith: Oh...