Valerie Perrine credited as playing...
Montana Wildhack
- Tralfamadorian speaker: Would you please mate now?
- Billy Pilgrim: Look. We're not going to put on a show for you. That's one thing. Another is I demand you get Miss Wildhack some clothing.
- Tralfamadorian speaker: If she's cold, we can always regulate the temperature.
- Billy Pilgrim: Now, you get down to Earth and get Miss Wildhack a complete wardrobe, and one that fits! What's your size?
- Montana Wildhack: I take a 10. But then I have to take it in here and let it out a little here. So they'll need to bring a needle and thread.
- Billy Pilgrim: Did you hear that? And remember, Miss Wildhack is used to the best.
- Montana Wildhack: What's it like up here?
- Billy Pilgrim: Well, I don't know, because we can't leave the dome.
- Tralfamadorian speaker: The atmosphere of Tralfamadore is cyanide. It would be fatal to you if you left the dome.
- Montana Wildhack: This is it?
- Billy Pilgrim: I'm afraid so.
- Montana Wildhack: How long will they keep us here?
- Billy Pilgrim: I don't know.
- Tralfamadorian speaker: You are here, you have always been here, and you will always be here.
- Montana Wildhack: Is he trying to blow my mind?
- Montana Wildhack: I appreciate what you said to them about me.
- Billy Pilgrim: Thank you, Miss Wildhack.
- Montana Wildhack: Montana.
- Billy Pilgrim: Montana.
- Montana Wildhack: You don't meet many gentlemen in the entertainment business.
- Billy Pilgrim: I'm an optometrist.
- Montana Wildhack: Oh. Would you like to kiss me?
- Billy Pilgrim: Yes.
- Montana Wildhack: [kissing] You kiss nicely.
- Billy Pilgrim: Thank you.
- Montana Wildhack: Oh! Did I hurt you?
- Billy Pilgrim: Oh, no! Oh!
- Tralfamadorian speaker: [after a moment of silence] Mr. Pilgrim? Miss Wildhack? Are you mating now?
- Billy Pilgrim: Would you like to sit on the couch?
- Montana Wildhack: Where is it?
- Billy Pilgrim: Here. Just take my hand.
- Montana Wildhack: [bumping into him, his hand grazes her chest] Ooh!
- Billy Pilgrim: Ooh! I'm sorry.
- Montana Wildhack: Um, that's all right.
- Billy Pilgrim: [leading her to the couch] Careful. Get away, Spot.
- Montana Wildhack: He's not bothering me. I like dogs. Come here, Spot. Come on.
- Billy Pilgrim: It's pretty comfortable, isn't it?
- Montana Wildhack: It's fine.
- Billy Pilgrim: They got everything from Sears and Roebuck.