Stephen Shea credited as playing...
Linus van Pelt
- Linus van Pelt: If I'm elected, my first act as president will be to appear before the School Board.
- [Lucy whispers in his ear]
- Linus van Pelt: I'm sorry. I will not be able to appear before the School Board. They meet at 8:00, and I go to bed at 7:30.
- Linus van Pelt: If I'm elected student body president, I will purge the kingdom! My administration will release us from our spiritual Babylon! My andministration will bring down all false idols in high places!
- Schroeder: I wonder why the principal looks so pale.
- Sally Brown: Well, I hope you told him.
- Linus van Pelt: Well, not really. As a matter of fact, he told me.
- Sally Brown: He sold out! We elected him, and he sold out! They're all the same! Promises, promises! You elect them, and they weasel out of their promises!
- Linus van Pelt: I decided to say a few words about the Great Pumpkin!
- Lucy van Pelt, Charlie Brown: AAAUGHH!
- Linus van Pelt: Halloween will soon be with us! And on Halloween night the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch and brings toys to all the good little children...
- [the entire auditorium laughs]
- Linus van Pelt: I've blown the election.
- Linus van Pelt: All right, say it! Say it! Go ahead and say it! I know you want to say it! I talked too much, and I blew the election; so go ahead and say it!
- Lucy van Pelt: OH, YOU BLOCKHEAD!
- Linus van Pelt: She said it.
- Lucy van Pelt: Hello?
- Caller: Hello? I have a question. I want to ask this question and I want to talk to the candidate. Can I ask the candidate a question?
- Lucy van Pelt: Yes, the candidate is here.
- Linus van Pelt: Hello?
- Caller: Yes. Well, I have this question that I thought maybe if I called, I could ask you the question. Because I know that if you're going to vote for a candidate,
- [Snoopy yawns]
- Caller: I'm kind of glad that it's good that you're having a talk show like this. Because it's kind of nice that we can call in and ask our questions, because you really can't ask questions of candidates. I don't know how you can vote for somebody, and I'm glad that I have
- [Lucy grumbles]
- Caller: a chance to ask this question. And I hope you don't mind because I thought about this question, and I think it's good to be able to ask questions of a candidate.
- Lucy van Pelt: I have a question for *you.*
- Caller: Yes. What?
- Lucy van Pelt: What is your question?
- Caller: What? What did you say?
- Lucy van Pelt: What is your question?
- Caller: Question? Oh, my gosh! I forgot what the question is!
- [Lucy slams the receiver again in anger]
- Linus van Pelt: Boy, this auditorium is packed with teachers and kids.
- Lucy van Pelt: Shh! Schroeder is starting his nomination speech for you.
- Schroeder: I am here this morning to nominate for the office of school president a great young man. But first, I'd like to say a few words about Beethoven.
- Lucy van Pelt: Oh, good grief!
- Violet: I'm a reporter from our school paper, Linus. Would you care to tell us what you intend to do if you're elected?
- Linus van Pelt: I intend to straighten things out! We are in the midst of a moral decline! If I'm elected, my first act will be to meet with the parents club, the principal, and all the teachers! We're starting...
- Violet: I'll just put down that you're very honored and will do your best if elected.
- Linus van Pelt: The press is against me.
- Linus van Pelt: If I'm elected school president, I will demand immediate improvements! I will demand "across the board" wage increases for custodians, teachers, and all administrative personnel! And any little dog who happens to wander onto the playground will *not* be chased away, but will be welcomed with open arms!
- [cut to Snoopy sitting in the audience applauding, cheering and wolf-whistling in agreement]
- Linus van Pelt: It's depressing to think that there are students who don't believe in the Great Pumpkin.