Mackenzie Phillips credited as playing...
Carol
- Carol: [John turns off the radio] Why did you do that?
- John Milner: I don't like that surfin' shit. Rock and roll's been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died.
- Carol: Don't you think the Beach Boys are boss?
- John Milner: You would, you grungy little twirp.
- Carol: Grungy? You big weenie! If I had a boyfriend, he'd pound you.
- John Milner: Yeah, sure.
- Carol: Oh, rats. I thought some of my friends might be here.
- John Milner: Probably a couple of weeks past their bedtime.
- Carol: Oh, wait, there's Dee Dee. I hope she sees me.
- John Milner: Oh, shit. Dee Dee!
- Carol: Oh, no, not me. Not old Carol. The night is young and I'm not hittin' the rack till I get a little action.
- John Milner: So, your Judy's little... Shit! How old are you?
- Carol: I'm old enough. How old are you?
- John Milner: I'm too old for you.
- Carol: You can't be that old.
- Carol: You're a regular J.D.
- John Milner: File that under uh, C.S. over there.
- [hands her the ticket Holstein just issued him]
- Carol: C.S.? What's that stand for?
- John Milner: Chicken shit - that's what it is.
- Carol: Oh.
- [puts the ticket in the glove compartment which is full of similar tickets]
- John Milner: Shit! Hey, get down!
- Carol: Hey, is this what they call "copping a feel"?
- John Milner: What? No, get up, N-O. Sheezus.
- Carol: What's your name?
- John Milner: My name? Mud, if anybody sees you.
- Carol: I just love listening to Wolfman. My Mom won't let me at home. Because he's a Negro. I think he's terrific! Do you know that he just broadcasts from a plane that flies around in circles all the time? Do you believe that's true?
- Carol: [after being hit with a water balloon] Very funny. What a chop! Ha-ha! Quit laughing! Let's catch 'em at the light. Jump out and flatten their tires.
- John Milner: Wait a minute.
- Carol: Just do as I say!
- John Milner: Alright, boss.
- Carol: Good, a cop. I'm going to tell him you tried to rape me.
- John Milner: Oh, no, no. Hey...
- Carol: It's past my curfew. I'm going to tell him how old I am, my parents don't know I'm out and you tried to rape me.
- John Milner: Yeah, don't say anything.
- Carol: Boy, are you up a creek.
- Carol: You're an ogre, just like my father. He won't let me stay out late or play records or anything.
- John Milner: Come on, really, Carol, now don't say anything.
- Carol: If you say I was a dirty bird, Carol's not grungy, she's bitchin'.
- John Milner: Hah.
- Carol: Say it, I'll tell him.
- John Milner: I was a dirty bird, Carol's not grungy - she's bitchin'.
- Carol: I'll think about it.
- Holstein: Where you going, Milner?
- John Milner: Oh, I'm going home, sir.
- Holstein: Uh, well, where have you been?
- John Milner: Uh, we were, I wa, uh, at the movies, sir.
- Holstein: Milner, you didn't happen to be around the corner of 12th and G about 8:30 tonight, did you?
- John Milner: No, no sir, we were at the movies, like I said.
- Holstein: Milner, the reason I stopped you is because the light on your license plate is out. I'm going to have to cite you for that. And Milner, the front end of this thing you are driving looks a little low.
- John Milner: No sir, no no, it's twelve and a half inches, regulations height. You can check it if you like, sir.
- Holstein: Look, Milner, listen. You can't fool with the law.
- John Milner: Yes sir.
- Holstein: We know it was you tonight. We have an excellent description of this car. I could run you in right now and I could make it stick. But I'm not going to that, Milner, and you know why? I want to catch you in the act. And when I do, I'm going to nail you but good.
- Holstein: Happy birthday, Milner.
- John Milner: Thank you. Asshole.