Brian Wilde credited as playing...
Mr. Barrowclough
- Barrowclough: You're writing a book?
- Fletch: Yeah - a sort of inside guide to prison life. But don't worry, I've not overlooked your boys in blue - I will be dealing just as much with your issues as those of our fellow felons.
- Barrowclough: Oh, good. And what are you going to call this book?
- Fletch: Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down.
- Barrowclough: I'm Scots on my mother's side, well, a bit of everything really. Scots, Irish, Polish...
- Fletch: Got about a bit, your mother.
- Fletch: One can't help noticing a change in your old lady's attitude of late.
- Barrowclough: How can you tell that?
- Fletch: Oh, little things, like the certain smile that plays around your lips when you're telling us to slop out.
- Barrowclough: What sort of smile?
- Fletch: The smile of a man who's getting his oats!
- Fletch: If you want the system to do something for us, give us more freedom, better grub, conjugal visits!
- Mr Barrowclough: Conjugal visits?
- Fletch: With our old lady, like, all above board, all ship-shape and Bristol Fashion.
- Mr Barrowclough: I'm not aware of any prison that does that!
- Fletch: Well, maybe not here, but certainly in Holland, and also in America, I believe, where they have a more enlightened penal system anyway. They have these special apartments, where the wife comes to stay and they can manifest their long-felt want for each other.
- Mr Barrowclough: You mean they spend the entire time...?
- Fletch: Conjugating, yeah.
- Mr Barrowclough: That's more than I'm allowed at home!