Carol Cleveland: Zoot • Dingo

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Zoot • Dingo

Sir Galahad: Zoot!
Dingo: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
[He tried to get past her]
Dingo: Where are you going?
Sir Galahad: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
Dingo: Oh, no! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
Sir Galahad: What is it?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Sir Galahad: It's not the real Grail?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
[Turns to camera]
Dingo: Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's better than some of the previous scenes I think.
Left Head: At least ours was better visually.
Dennis: At least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
Bridgekeeper: Get on with it.
Tim: Yes! Get on with it!
Army: Yeah! Get on with it!
Dingo: Oh, I am enjoying this scene!
God: Get on with it!

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.

Zoot: Welcome, brave sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
Sir Galahad: The Castle Anthrax?
Zoot: Yes... it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we'll attend to your every need.

Sir Galahad the Pure: Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
Dingo: Yes! yes! Let him tackle us single-handedly!
Girls of the Castles: Yes! Yes! Let him tackle us single-handedly!
Sir Launcelot the Brave: Come, Sir Galahad, quickly!
Sir Galahad the Pure: No, really, honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily!
Dingo: Oh, yes! Yes! Let him handle us easily.
Girls of the Castles: Let him handle us easily!
Sir Launcelot the Brave: No sir. Quick!
Sir Galahad the Pure: No, please. Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and fifty of them.
Dingo: Yes! Yes! He'll beat us easily. We haven't a chance!
Dingo, Girls of the Castles: We haven't a chance! We haven't a chance!
Dingo: [Sir Launcelot and Sir Galahad depart] Oh! Oh shit!

Zoot: I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eightscore young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.