Catherine Schell credited as playing...
Lady Claudine Litton
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [at Lytton Manor in Nice, while working undercover as a telephone repairman, Clouseau has already annihilated the Lyttons' doorbell!] ... I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone.
- Mac: ...I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here.
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble.
- Mac: Since when?
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Since it was reported.
- Mac: By whom? And what sort of trouble is it?
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is!
- Claudine: Well... Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it.
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Madame, it is my business to locate trouble...
- [He misses the door to the study, crashing headlong into the wall; being Clouseau, he isn't even fazed]
- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ...Er, no trouble back there!
- Sir Charles Lytton: [pretending to be room service] Bonjour, madame. Breakfast. Voila.
- Claudine: [half asleep on the bed, with her back towards Sir Charles] Leave it over there. I'll sign for it later.
- Sir Charles Lytton: [lies down in the bed] How about a little tip?
- Claudine: [shocked, turns around] Charles, darling!
- [kiss]
- Claudine: Mmm. Mmm.
- Sir Charles Lytton: All right, all right. Now, where is it?
- Claudine: After all these years you need to ask?
- Sir Charles Lytton: I'm quite serious.
- Claudine: Oh, I hope so. You hotel waiters lead such interesting lives.
- [kiss]
- Sir Charles Lytton: No, no, no, no. Not now, darling. Not now, please. Now, where is it? Hmm?
- Claudine: That depends on what you're looking for.
- [kiss]
- Sir Charles Lytton: Now, come on, Claudine, please! Now, now where is it? I'm losing patience.
- Claudine: I should ask the hotel to send up another waiter.
- Claudine: I'm Lady Litton.
- Clouseau: Yes, I know. I took the liberty of finding out. I hope you are not offended.
- Claudine: That depends on your intentions.
- Clouseau: Strictly honorable, I can assure you. A man sees a beautiful chick, and he can't help but be inquisitive, you know. Would you think it naughty of me if I offered to buy you a drink?
- Claudine: But you already have.
- Clouseau: I knew that. How about I buy myself one and we drink it together, huh?
- Sir Charles Lytton: You nearly had me killed, you know.
- Claudine: It's better than dying of boredom.
- Sir Charles Lytton: Me, bored with you?
- Claudine: I'm sorry, darling. It's just that I never realized how tedious life could be for a retired jewel thief.