[a hacker has messed up the CHP's payroll]

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Now, about the paychecks.

Officer Barry Baricza: Yeah, I've got a car payment due!

[the other officers start complaining]

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Settle down! Just settle down and we'll try to sort out your paychecks.

Officer Barry Baricza: Well, how much was YOUR paycheck?

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: [nervously] It's... more than I usually get.

[under his breath]

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: It's closer to what I deserve.

[Jon announces his proposal for a trail bike task force]

Officer Jon Baker: I'd like to nominate my partner, Frank Poncherello.

Officer Francis Llewellyn 'Ponch' Poncherello: Hey, that's great. 'Cause when we first met, I was on a dirtbike.

Officer Jon Baker: Uh, no, Ponch. When we first met, you had just fallen off a dirtbike.