Pam Dawber credited as playing...
Mindy McConnell • Mandy
- Louise Bailey: [in a jail cell with Mindy] Funny the way things happen. I'm in here because of a silly old parking meter.
- Mindy McConnell: You're kidding!
- Louise Bailey: No, I went into a hardware store and when I came out, *there* was a policeman writing me a ticket.
- Mindy McConnell: I don't believe it, they threw you in jail for a parking ticket.
- Louise Bailey: Well, in a roundabout way. You see when I put the shovel in the trunk, Walter's arm fell out.
- Mindy McConnell: Who's Walter?
- Louise Bailey: My husband.
- Mindy McConnell: What was he doing in the trunk?
- Louise Bailey: Not much... he was dead. I warned him about his snoring for years but he just wouldn't believe me. So last night I took a pair of my very best pantyhose, and I wrapped them around his neck... real tight. You know it was the first good night's sleep I've had in 31 years.
- Mindy McConnell: [Mindy gets up and walks across to the other side of the cell] Well, you look well rested.
- Louise Bailey: You don't snore, do you, dear?
- Franklin Delano Bickley: That's diddly, he's just going out of town, I'm going out of business. I used to be the best greeting card writer around. I can't work any more.
- Mindy McConnell: Oh, come on, we don't make that much noise.
- Franklin Delano Bickley: I know, I was blaming it on you but it's time i faced it. I've lost it.
- Mork: We could form a posse and find it if you want.
- Franklin Delano Bickley: No, it's no use. They say your sympathy is the first thing to go. I used to be able to get tears out of a coat rack. Not any more.
- [pulls a card from his pocket]
- Franklin Delano Bickley: Listen to this. "Your pet rabbit died. Poor little muffet. Your two choices are, eat it or stuff it".
- Mork: Aww, that's sad.
- Mork: [Mork's emotions are out of control. His solution is to introduce them to Mindy's emotions] OK guys, come on over here
- [mimes football huddle]
- Mork: Right!
- [leaps back over to Mindy]
- Mindy McConnell: Well?
- Mork: I've got mixed emotions.
- Mindy McConnell: [Mork and Mindy are trapped in a giant birdcage facing certain death] Mork, I have something to confess to you. When you were out one day, I... I... I put on your spacesuit.
- Mork: [shocked] The helmet, too?
- Mindy McConnell: Boots and all!
- Mork: [after Mork has had a chance to absorb this revelation] Well, Mindy, I have something to confess to you.
- [Mindy grows more and more shocked as she connects the dots]
- Mork: If Holly liked him so much, how come she punched him and told him he was weird.
- Mindy McConnell: Boys and girls often punch or push or hit each other as a sign of affection.
- Mork: Punching and pushing and calling someone names means you like them?
- Mindy McConnell: Yeah, it can.
- Mork: Then the cowboys and Indians are lovers?
- [alarm for Mork's wristwatch which he wears round his ankle goes off]
- Mindy McConnell: Ah, your foot's ringing. I'll get it.
- [bends down and pushes button on watch, pulls out small piece of paper under watch strap]
- Mindy McConnell: What's this piece of paper?
- Mork: Must be a footnote.
- Mindy McConnell: Mork, why are you building a tower of Cheerios?
- Mork: Because it's hard to stack oatmeal.
- Mindy McConnell: [Mork has proposed, and after chatting with Fred and Cora, she decides to not marry Mork] I guess what I'm really trying to say is... I can't marry you
- Mork: Mind', That's a joke right, like the volunteer army? Ha ha ha... R R R!... R R Rrrr.
- Mearth: [seeing that the apartment has been filled with expensive toys] Mammy, the tooth fairy *has* been keeping up with inflation.
- Mindy McConnell: [sarcastic] Gee, I wonder who could be behind all this.
- Mork: [Mork jumps out of a huge box in the middle of the room] Surprise!
- Mindy McConnell: No, not really.
- Mork: [referring to the Exidor Boutique, in which Mork invested all of their savings] Come on, Mind, Exidor *knows* what he's doing.
- Exidor: [storming out of the dressing room, talking to his imaginary friend] What do you mean the mannequins want a coffee break? They just had one ten minutes ago and all they did was dribble.
- Exidor: [to Mork] Partner. Glad to see you brought the little woman.
- Mindy McConnell: We want our money back now, and don't call me the little woman.
- Mork: What she's trying to say is, Exidor, we've had a change of heart, you know like when Annie Richards wanted to change dressing rooms.
- Exidor: I've only been open two hours. Even Evita didn't pay off its backers that fast.
- Mindy McConnell: We want our money back.
- Exidor: Look, business is a little slow but we're gonna have our two-for-one sale. Buy two, get one. Who could resist that?
- Mindy McConnell: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
- Exidor: Listen, Perky, are you insinuating I'm some kind of crack-pot? Well, that's what they said about David Rockefeller.
- Mindy McConnell: Nobody ever said that about David Rockefeller.
- Exidor: *I* did...
- [suddenly looks the other way]
- Exidor: Pepe, pepe. You call yourself a tailor? Just lengthen the sleeve don't clip his nails
- [Exidor storms off with "Pepe"]