Peter Falk credited as playing...
Lou Peckinpaugh
- Jezebel Dezire: Won't you join me in a little drinkie? What's your pleasure?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Uh, what you got there looks good.
- Jezebel Dezire: I know... but I thought you'd like a little drink first.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: This signature's been tampered with. Your name isn't Denise Manderley, is it?
- Mrs. Montenegro: No. It's Wanda Coleman.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Then why does your driver's license say Gilda Dabney?
- Mrs. Montenegro: I believe my life is in danger; that's why I've taken so many precautions. My real name is... Chloe Lamar.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, thank you, Miss Lamar. I appreciate your honesty. Now can you tell me why you let yourself in with this passkey to search my office? What is it that you were looking for?
- Mrs. Montenegro: Uh, to be perfectly frank, your bathroom.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I don't have any.
- Mrs. Montenegro: Yes! I found that out a little too late...
- Lou Peckinpaugh: All right, can we stop playing games now? It isn't Manderley, or Coleman, or Dabney, or even Lamar, is it? The initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for?
- Mrs. Montenegro: Alma Chalmers.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Chalmers begins with a C! This is a P!
- Mrs. Montenegro: Palmers. Alma Palmers.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: You give me the runaround one more time and I'm going to slap you around this office. I don't care what your name is any more. Just make one up, so I know what to call you!
- Mrs. Montenegro: Vivian Purcell.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: That's better.
- Mrs. Montenegro: Carmen Montenegro. That's my last one, I promise!
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Being a private eye may not be much, but we do have a code of honor. It's all right to fool around with your partner's wife, but once he's dead it makes it all so dirty. That's the way it is, angel. You marry yourself a nice guy, have a couple of swell kids. Once you're all set up and happy, maybe we can fool around again.
- [Marcel comes into Lou's room and sees Betty in her underwear]
- Marcel: I'm sorry, I thought you were alone.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I tried it that way. It's not as much fun alone.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Miss De Vega, I presume.
- Mrs. Montenegro: Mr. Peckinpaugh, you look startled.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Oh, no, it's just that, uh, you look like... fourteen other dames that was here the other night.
- Mrs. Montenegro: Yes, I know. They were my sister.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, that explains the resemblance.
- Mrs. Montenegro: Not to me - she was adopted!
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Yeah? Well, so am I, but... I don't look like your sister either.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Are you sure the police didn't follow you here?
- Georgia Merkle: I'm positive. They came with me.
- [the door opens and the police come in]
- Lou Peckinpaugh: This is definitely our last date, Georgia.
- Lieutenant DiMaggio: Mind answering a few questions downtown, Lou?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: We *are* downtown.
- Lieutenant DiMaggio: [thinks a moment] Then this will be fine.
- Jasper Blubber: We should leave separately. Makes more sense if I go first.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Why is that?
- Jasper Blubber: Then I don't get stuck with the check.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: What you you doing here?
- Betty DeBoop: I missed my boat.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: It doesn't sail until tomorrow!
- Betty DeBoop: So I missed it a little early.
- Betty DeBoop: Hello, Fred, I was hoping you'd drop by.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: The name is Lou, and we've never met.
- Betty DeBoop: Let's not get in a sweat about details. - Aren't you going to light my fire?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Certainly.
- [He lights her cigarette]
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I was just looking over your kindling wood.
- Betty DeBoop: If you're not busy, Fred, I get off at two. Don't you think two's a good time to get off on?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Now why did he call me last night?
- Jezebel Dezire: He thinks I'm cheating on him. He wants you to find out who the man is. Some of my jewelry is missing; Ezra thinks I gave it to my lover.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Did you give it to him?
- Jezebel Dezire: Everything *but* my jewelry.
- [Marlene slaps Lou]
- Paul DuChard: Anything wrong?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Oh, no, no. No, it's, uh, my mistake here, uh. For a second here I thought that this young lady was a girl that I knew in France; I was wrong; the girl I know is dead.
- Paul DuChard: Oh, a natural error, monsieur. My wife has been mistaken for dead girls by many men.
- Marlene DuChard: Did you think my heart didn't stop last night in the club when I saw you standing there?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I almost forgot what you looked like. Day by day I erased your face from my mind, little by little, till all I had left... was your right ear and three front teeth on the bottom.
- Marlene DuChard: I still carry your picture in my locket. Naturally, I had to cut off your head in case Paul found it.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Suddenly it all seems as though it was yesterday. I stood in that train station, I waited for you for over six hours. Then when your letter came, it started to rain. And I opened it, and the ink ran all over the page. The most important letter of my life... I still don't know what the hell it said!
- Marlene DuChard: It said: "Dear Louis, I love you more than life itself. But to run off with you now, when my country is in danger, would be an act of cowardice. I'm marrying Paul DuChard, because - " and that's all I can remember.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: You can't remember why you married him?
- Marlene DuChard: That letter was written a long time ago - I've written thousands of letters since!
- Jezebel Dezire: See anything you like? I'm Jezebel Dezire - accent on the "desire."
- Lou Peckinpaugh: How do you do? I'm Peck Loukinpaugh.
- Jezebel Dezire: [giggling] Don't worry. I do that to everyone... even to myself.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: You said on the phone last night, sir, that you thought that I could be of some service to you.
- Jezebel Dezire: Just how good *is* your service?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I try to satisfy.
- Jezebel Dezire: Do you charge by the hour or by the satisfaction?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: [Phone rings. Lou picks it up] Yeah?
- Georgia Merkle: Lou, it's Georgia.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Oh, hello, Georgia. I just had you on my mind. What's new, kid?
- Georgia Merkle: Floyd is dead.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Say that again?
- Georgia Merkle: Lou, it's Georgia.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: No, after that.
- Georgia Merkle: Floyd is dead.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Your husband's dead a little over an hour and you're already dressed in black? How long you had that outfit waiting in the closet?
- Georgia Merkle: You're wrong. I just bought it. There's an all-night widow shop at Fifth and Geary.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: You can pay, of course.
- Paul DuChard: Ah, monsieur, we, we're not wealthy people. We lost over four million francs betting on the war.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Who'd you have?
- Marcel: We took France - at eight to five.
- Bess: You have a visitor in there, a Miss Sophie De Vega.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Pretty?
- Bess: Prettier than me, but I'm easier.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I'm saving you for the rainy season.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Don't call me for three days, and when you do, use your real name. By the way, what is it?
- Mrs. Montenegro: Mary Jones. I swear it, Lou.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, change it. It sounds phony.