Cloris Leachman credited as playing...
Lord's Secretary
- [Kermit and the Muppets arrive in Hollywood and are entering Lew Lord's waiting room, heading straight for his office]
- Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermie, look, it's wonderful. Like a dream come true.
- Kermit: Well, don't count your tadpoles until they've hatched, I still have to audition, you know.
- Floyd Pepper: Hey, there ain't nothin' to it but to do it!
- Lord's Secretary: [after she tries to silently stop them, she pushes a button to close the door] And where do you think you're going?
- Kermit: [Pleasantly] Oh, hi there. We're here to audition for Lew Lord.
- Lord's Secretary: Well, you just can't walk in here off the street you know, especially with all these animals.
- Kermit: Animals? Wh-What's wrong with animals?
- [Muppets mutter indignantly but indistinctly as they move central to her desk]
- Lord's Secretary: [Stop them, loudly] This is a movie studio, not a zoo. Besides...
- [sneezes]
- Lord's Secretary: ... I'm allergic to animal hair. Now get along all of you.
- Kermit: Now wait a second, miss. I may not be one of your fancy Hollywood frogs, but I deserve a chance, and we're going to stay right here in this office until you let us in to see Lew Lord. Aren't we, gang?
- Kermit: [the Muppets shout "Yes" indistinctly] We're just going to go sit right down over here and wait.
- Lord's Secretary: [Picks up the phone, and int it] Security, Miss Tracey. I want to report a...
- Kermit: [Turns on the fan in the office] C'mon guys. Shake!
- [the Muppets start shaking shake their fur]
- Kermit: [as they're talking and shaking their dander at Miss Tracy] I'm allergic to cats, myself.
- [Meanwhile Miss Tracy is having such a sneezing fit she nearly passed out, and then reaches up to buzz the door open]
- Kermit: [They proceed into Lew Lord's office] Okay guys, way to go! Uh, thanks, Miss.
- [She's laying in a heap just waving them through.]
- Kermit: Well guys, this is it.
- [the office door opens up and an angelic chorus sings.]