Valerie Perrine credited as playing...
Samantha
- Samantha: The '70s are dead and gone. The '80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I.
- Norma White: Ron, dear, didn't Greenwich-Village-people-types go out with the '60s?
- Samantha: That's it! The name: Village People.
- Randy: Well, that's not a bad idea, uh, that's what we are.
- Felipe: That's where we're from.
- Jack Morell: Village People? That's fantastic! Thank you!
- Norma White: Oh, well, it does have a certain charm.
- Samantha: Village People; I can sell that.
- Samantha: Hey, Felipe, how are you feeling?
- Felipe: C... C-minus.
- Samantha: What's the matter?
- Felipe: I had to leave my feathers to be oiled. They gave me this one to wear, and it doesn't even fit right.
- Samantha: You think you've got problems? Jack needs some voices on his demo tape for tonight and I need some professional singers who will work for what I can afford to pay.
- Felipe: Professional and for free? That you ain't gonna find.
- Leatherman: I'm from the Bronx. My name's Glenn Hughes.
- Samantha: What do you do, Glenn?
- Leatherman: I'm a toll collector at the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.
- Norma White: Do all toll collectors look like that?
- Leatherman: Just the hot ones.
- Samantha: Are you really serious about singing?
- David the Construction Worker: Fanantical. Fame, fortune, platinum records... it's every boy's dream.
- Ron White: [angry tone] Hi, I'm Ron White. Your sister sent you a cake. You're not gonna believe this, but a little old lady just robbed me!
- Samantha: Could you run that by me again?
- Ron White: A little old lady armed with a big gun held me up!
- Samantha: No kidding. So, how do you know my sister?
- Ron White: I live next door to her in St. Louis. God, she must have been 80 years old!
- Samantha: Oh, that's not my sister. She's older than I am, but not that old.
- Ron White: I'm talking about the old lady who robbed me! She got my wallet, my watch, my class ring. She even got my Phi Beta Kappa key!
- Samantha: Well, it's a good thing she didn't get the cake. I forgot to order dessert.
- Samantha: I should have known that you could sing. But when you see someone every day, you just don't know what they have. I mean, counting out exercise is sort of singing, right?
- Randy: Yeah, I think it is. It's sort of like...
- [singing]
- Randy: Got the back bone connected to the hip bone, and the hip bone connected to the thigh bone, and the thigh bone connected to the leg bone
- [normal voice]
- Randy: How's that? Is that a star or is that a star?
- Samantha: Bing! Tonight it is. Be at my place at 8:00. You bring the voice, and I'll bring the food... and the wine.
- Randy: You always were a great hostess, Sam.
- Samantha: Don't be fresh.
- Benny Murray: [thick New York accent] Nice ta meetcha, Miss Edwards...
- Samantha: Simpson.
- Benny Murray: Right. I've seen ya plastered all over New York, ya know?
- Samantha: Well, don't spread it around.
- Ron White: Mother! What are you doing here?
- Jack Morell: Mother?
- Samantha: Mother?
- Felipe: THAT's your mother?
- Samantha: Gee, she looks better than I do.
- Samantha: I didn't invent it. I'm just in it.
- Jack Morell: [sing-song] I didn't invent it. I'm just in it. That's a great new theme to a new song!